Time
by mlblack
Summary: Jane makes a decision that affects everyone. Eventual Rizzles. T for now, M further down the line.
1. Chapter 1

Jane had known there was no time to explain where she was going. And even if she had time to explain, she knew she couldn't. She had talked her self into silently slipping away after Maura had left. She knew she was going to break both of their hearts, but it was for the best. She knew she would never be able to tell her how she really felt anyways. The fear of losing everything with Maura kept her from ever saying anything, all these years.

"Maura is happy. She has Jack", Jane chanted softly.

"I'm sorry, did you say something?" The Marshall questioned from the drivers seat.

"….just thinking out loud," Jane replied as she allowed her head to roll back, the drugs she'd been given taking hold. She closed her eyes tightly as the single tear fell and all thoughts cleared but one: Maura is happy, she has Jack.

—

Maura gave her self a once over in the mirror, smoothing her hand down the front of her pencil skirt. She'd had a restless night after leaving Jane at the hospital and was abnormally anxious to get back to her best friend this morning.

As Maura descended the stairs, she was greeted by the smell of fresh coffee and she allowed herself the momentary wish that it was Jane she would see as she turned the corner, coffee cup in one hand and her nose in the sports section… the scene she'd witnessed most mornings, including the day before.

'How things have changed', she mused. She smiled as Angela closed the fridge and jumped slightly at the new addition to the kitchen. "I didn't mean to startle you, sorry Angela," Maura smiled as she walked around getting two cups out of the cupboard out of habit. Angela noticed the gesture and smiled.

"Oh, no problem dear. I just didn't expect you up so early."

"I could't sleep, and … I just feel… something seems off and it has made me anxious to get back to see Jane and then I'll need to get to the office and review the case from yesterday," Maura explained. She was convinced she needed to look deeper into the case that had landed Jane in the hospital.

"I was planning on heading over as well this morning, would you like some company?" Angela asked.

"I'd love the company," Maura stated as she finished her coffee and fruit. "Let me get a few things from my office and we can leave."

As Maura gathered her laptop and the few files she had been working on, she glanced up and noticed the light on her cell phone was blinking, indicating a message. She clicked the screen on and realized she had several missed calls and two voicemails. As she saw the voicemails were from Frankie and Vince, she dialed in to listen to them as she put her purse on her shoulder and walked towards the living room to meet Angela.

"Maura, it's Frankie. I need you to call me back. I'll keep trying you. You've got to pick up!" Frankie sounded frazzled and Maura instantly worried that Janes condition may have turned. She skipped to the next message from Korsak and realized it had been received only a little over two hours earlier.

"Maura… I need you to call me as soon as you get this. It's Jane…." Maura heard his voice crack as she entered the kitchen, Looking up to see Frankie holding a sobbing Angela and the phone slowly slid to the hardwood floor making a deafening thud as it hit. Korsak turned from Angela when the phone hit, looking into Hazel eyes glossing over with tears. Maura noticed the redness lining Korsak's eyes and took in Frankie's slumped figure, desperately clinging to that of his mother. The world seemed to move in slow motion and Maura shook her head as if to clear away the sudden fog that was clouding her brain. "No…No….no…", Maura's bag slid off her shoulder as she began to tremble. Her lungs felt empty and she gasped, but couldn't get enough air. She shook her head again, trying to clear her head to process the information, to ask the question she already knew the answer to. She gasped. "NO!" the strangled scream came out, as did the tears. Korsak reached her a slit second before her knees hit the hardwood floor.

"I'm so sorry Maura. So, so sorry," came the strangled apology in-between his own gasps for air as he chocked back his own emotion. Maura let herself fall into his arms, seeking what little comfort they offered as she continued to struggle breathing. The sobs wracked her body and her mind seemed to shut down. There was no rational thinking, no survival mode. She simply couldn't feel anything. She felt her senses slowly turning off, her defense mechanisms kicking in in an effort to help her cope. She bought her hand to her mouth in an effort to cover her sobs.


	2. Chapter 2

_**I own nothing R &I… otherwise we'd be watching a very different show.**_

* * *

It had been seven days. A whole week had passed since she'd come around the kitchen corner and her life changed. The memory haunted her. It felt as fresh as if it'd just happened. She rolled over. Restlessly she opened her eyes. They hurt. They were red and swollen, and she could feel the puffiness of them every time they fluttered open. Her mouth was dry, her lips felt chapped. The light that filtered into the room seared her eyes and made her head ache. She numbly got up, retreating to the ensuite bathroom and turned the shower on. She stood in front of the mirror assessing the state of her features. The dark circles under her eyes made her face look shallow and her cheeks had sunk in due to her lack of eating. Smells made her nauseous and she couldn't bring herself to eat anything of substance in the last week. She had supplemented her lack of diet with her sudden love of bourbon. The rich Carmel liquid with its oak scent reminded her of the smell of it on Jane's breath.

Jane…. Jane was… no, she shook her head to clear the thought threatening to cross her mind. She couldn't admit it to her self. She knew admittance was a step in the right direction to heal, but she couldn't. Not yet. She felt the cold settling into her chest as she thought of what today brought. She felt the prickling of tears and she slowly moved to the end of the bed to retrieve her towel and turn the small mp3 player attached to her stereo on. The soft sounds of Mel Ashton's 'Nuvole Bianche' filled the air. She pulled off the BPD sweats and shirt she'd taken from Jane's drawer and stepped into the hot shower. She let the water sooth her as the soft piano serenade her. She allowed the tears to fall freely and she closed her eyes wondering when she was going to be able to feel again. she longed to feel anything but the cold grip of death and the loneliness it had brought her.

The first night had been the worst. Jack had arrived to comfort and console his fiancé. Maura had known for years that she would be destined to a life without Jane as anything more then her closest friend and confidant, but she had blindly assumed that Jane would be there none the less. Jane's endless parade of men who walked through her life was her testament to the feelings she had for the opposite sex. Maura knew she would live the rest of her life with the secret desire she felt for Jane hidden deep within. Small parts of Maura hoped that the clear jealousy she'd see flash before Jane's eyes every time she brought around a new beau was the jealously of a deep seeded love Jane kept secret. As the years had passed however, Maura had convinced her self that she had misread these signs of jealousy as nothing more then Jane's protective nature coming up in defense of her best friend. When Maura had told Jane that last day that Jack had asked her to marry him, Maura swore she saw defeat in Jane's eyes. Maura had reached out to touch Jane's hand to ask her what was the matter when Jane got the call that would ultimately end her life. Maura signed and shook her head slowly. She had to pull her self together. If not for her sake, then for Angela's, she silently told herself as she stepped out of the shower and wrapped herself in the warm towel.

* * *

Angela had taken up residence in Maura's guest bedroom. The guest house seemed too far to journey and Frankie and Korsak had taken up residence in her absence. They had taken turns checking in on the women, making sure they had everything they needed, but no one said a whole lot in the week following Jane's death. The silence had been deafening. Angela stayed up late into the night sitting on the couch reliving memories of Jane's childhood. She would silently acknowledge Maura, as she had journeyed down to join her every night since Jane's death. They would sit on the couch together, holding hands, or leaning on one another in a form of comfort. They never said much and the first couple nights they had spent silently crying together. Angela worried for Maura. The younger woman who she now knew desperately loved her daughter. Angela ached for the red head as she silently grieved. Her suspicions of Maura's love had always been just that, suspicions until in her grief that first night Maura had told Jack, that she had in fact been in love with Jane, that she couldn't marry him, that she would never love him the way she loved Jane, and wished to be left alone. Angela had held Maura all that night as she cried tears of pain, loss and regret. She watched the strong M.E. fracture into two. Something in Maura changed that night. While she continued to grieve, she did so mostly in private, save the exception of their 2am meetings, when she would sneak down and sit with Angela, silently seeking comfort before heading back to bed.

Angela sighed, cleared her mind, willing herself to be ready fro what today would bring for them all. She quietly climbed the stairs and knocked on Maura's door. Grief gripped her heart as she knew today was going to be one of the worst days of her life, as well as Maura's.

"It's time to go Maura, honey," she called out.

The door slowly opened and Maura stepped out in a simple Black fitted dress and high heels. Her eyes were cold and distant as she looked at Angela.

"I'm ready," Maura stated dryly. Angela smiled softly and gently patted Maura's arm and turned to walk down the stairs to meet the boys and the limo that waited to take them to the church.

* * *

 **Washington State**

"Bloody freaking Washington! Really?!" Jane grumbled as stomped her boots on the front mat as she opened the front door. As she opened the door she was greeted by the smell of garlic and the warmth that the cabin contained. She followed the smells and the sound of humming to the song playing from the small stereo, to the kitchen. As the entire kitchen came into view she was greeted by the sight of Rebecca, or Becks as Jane had taken to calling her in the last week, lightly humming and swaying to the sound of the current top forty count down. As the Agent realized she was no longer alone, she stopped moving and regarded the Detective.

"They are burying me today," Jane stated slowly as she flipped the paper over to show her the front page report.

"I know it's hard, being away from them… it's not forever, you know that. Someday you'll be able to go back to them," the agent reminded her.

Jane turned and slowly walked to the couch, tossing the paper down as her official BPD picture stared back at her. As her eyes scanned over the article she couldn't help but turn her nose up at the small picture of Maura and Jack, captioned as close friends of the fallen decorated officer.

"Will there even be a reason to go back?" She questioned softly as she flipped the paper over and walked to the fridge to get a drink.


	3. Chapter 3

**Trust the ride…. but no… we aren't there yet….**

* * *

 **8 Months Later**

 **Washington State**

Jane's life had taken on a routine that much to her surprise, she enjoyed. In a bid to keep her location secret, they had decided to not find Jane an actual job. She was a crossing guard before and after school and spent the in-between helping in the local elementary school library, all as a volunteer. She had always had a soft spot for children and working with them on the daily, she had come to realize, perhaps, someday when she got out of the system, she would like to try.

'That is provided I get out of this system while I can still have kids!' she scoffed at the thought and shook her head as she drove the 22 miles to the cabin she had called home for the last 8 months.

She'd been allowed the one newspaper from the burial/service that they had given her, and even then, it had been brought to her by another agent and had not been purchased in the state or any surrounding them. They were taking no risks at having Jane caught before they got to the bottom of the serial killer who had inadvertently targeted Jane, again. Any and all communication with Boston had been cut of. They would bring her the occasional updates of her mother and brothers, but she heard nothing of Maura. Jane often wondered what Maura's wedding would have been like, as she assumed it had already taken place, or was fast approaching. Would she have gone had she been around? Would she have smiled and done her duties to make sure Maura got the life she always wanted? She always drew the same conclusion; she was giving her all that, and more. She had convinced herself that she had stepped away and saved them all from having to deal with the eventual havoc her life would have wreaked over them all. She knew she was protecting them and that knowledge was what made her suffer through the pain, both physical and emotional, of leaving the night she was attacked.

* * *

They hadn't realized it was the work of a serial until Jane was already in pursuit of her target that afternoon 8 months ago. She was following a lead, the only lead they had, to the home of the pastor who had originally found the first victims in his church. They had researched the congregation and found an ex-felon who had a history of attacking women with small children. She'd gone to question the pastor about any information that could lead to the man's whereabouts. She'd arrived at the home to find the door opened, and no one had responded as she called out. She had cleared the first floor, having found one small child, bound and unconscious. As she reached the base of the stairs, her phone vibrated. She continued up the stairs and found the pastor, wounded, but with a pulse. As she cleared the last room, she found the pastor's wife, dead. A knife lay near the body. Jane surveyed the scene realizing this was sloppy and not in line with the previous crime scenes. She turned to go aid the pastor and his young son and as she cleared to doorway, she heard the crack of her scull as the world went black.

She awoke to what felt like warm water being poured down her thighs. As she continued to regain her senses, she became aware of the overpowering scent of blood. As her memories filtered in, she began to slowly assess that all her limbs were functioning. She realized her right leg did not respond and when she tried moving it again, the pain ripped through her and her leg was instantly warm and wet again. She realized she was bleeding out and she could feel the haze creeping back into her brain, she knew she was fading fast. He must have severed her femoral artery. She had to get to the Boy…. and his father…. she could feel the darkness closing in. Wait, she was on the landing, where was the Pastor? Had the killer taken him off to finish the job?

"Detective!" she heard as someone grabbed her shoulder. 'Was that the pastor? He was alive?! His son! She had to tell him about his son'.

But her limbs were heavy and she was tired. She faded out as Frankie cleared the landing, her back up having arrived.

"JANE!"

* * *

She'd awoken in the hospital that evening while Maura was in the hall talking with the Doctor. As her eyes adjusted, she realized there was a new face in the darkness of the hospital room. The woman stepped forward and cleared her throat, hoping it would help the detectives eyes focus on her.

"Detective. I'm glad you're awake. I'm Marshall Johnson. I've been assigned to escort you to a designated safe house."

"Safe house?" Pure confusion crossed Jane's features.

"Yes, we received a threat shortly after you had been brought in, from our UNSUB. It seems he is focused on you after you interrupted his plans at the Ministers home this afternoon."

"Maura?" Jane inquired.

"She's outside discussing your prognosis with your doctor. You lost too much blood and your head injury has had some mild swelling." Johnson explained quickly

"I can't leave her…" Jane was struggling to connect words as all she could feel was the darkness closing back in.

"Detective, he will come after you again when he finds that you've survived. He has deviated from his M.O. already once and we feel confident that he is just beginning, which means he can continue to evolve his ritual. We believe that those close to you are also at risk. It will be better, for everyone, if you come into the program until we catch him." The Marshall paused then as Maura's voice got closer to the door. "Don't you think she has had enough trauma for one lifetime? Her fiancé had one hell of a time calming her down outside when they wouldn't let her in here." Johnson knew bringing up the fiancé was a low blow the minute she regarded the Detectives reaction. Her body tensed as she knew the Detective was about to make a decision as the Medical Examiner walked in.

"I'll be back Detective. Get some rest and we can talk more later," Johnson moved to pass Maura as she tried to recognize the new comer.

The door closed quietly as Maura turned to take in Jane's condition. "Give it to me straight Maur…. How bad is it?"

"The killer had severed two major arteries and cut deeply through muscle. It will take you months to heal and even then, you may always suffer from a slight limp." Maura paused and looked at Jane's almost sheet white completion and the bags of blood hanging near by before continuing. "The side of your head is bandaged and under that bandage, there is a 1/2' hole put there to help alleviate the pressure that had built up on your brain. You'll have to be closely monitored until the swelling goes down."

Jane tried to ward off the haze as it closed in again. She knew she needed to make a decision and she knew what it would be. She would protect Maura at any cost. She needed to stay awake. She needed to memorize Maura's every feature. She didn't know if she'd ever see her again, and she needed…

When Jane woke again, she was alone and out of the darkness, a voice cleared.

"Detective, we need to leave now if we are to pull this off."

Jane nodded her consent.

* * *

Jane sat at the table staring straight ahead, lost in the memory that had brought her here. She had lost her family and the first woman she ever loved over night and they had no idea that she was alive. She knew she couldn't return to Boston until the killer was caught, but he had remained dormant for the last eight months. In the mean time she had been playing house in the small town. Rebecca worked for the local Marshals office and was able to keep her identity, as she had been an established resident of the area for over ten years. They simple inserted Jane into her daily life and said they had met on line and had decided to take their relationship to the next level while on vacation together. They'd had a shotgun wedding and even had the pictures to back their story. But Jane was not Jane. She was now Liz. A New York exec, retired at an early age after making a killing and was now a happily married woman, giving back to her community in any way she could. The truth was, Jane enjoyed her life, or what had become of it, but she missed being a cop. She missed her brothers, her mother, Krosak and most of all she missed the M.E. She knew it didn't do well to dwell on the things she couldn't change and she had barely stood from her chair as the door opened and Becca called out,

"Honey, I'm Home!" which was used as their signal that she was not alone. Jane searched her mind and realized that today was Thursday and that meant that Rebecca had brought home a few coworkers to have dinner and watch the game.

Jane smiled as she walked to the door to great her "spouse" and her guests. She recognized Laura, Rebecca's old partner and her wife, Amanda. She also knew the two men, Jackson and Wyatt. Jane wrapped her arm around Becca's waist and smiled as everyone removed their coats and made their way into the kitchen. Becca hung back a moment longer, relishing in Jane's proximity and leaned into Jane and signed. Jane smiled and put her head on top of hers in quiet contemplation.

"He's active again," Becca whispered as she turned to face Jane head on. None of the other agents knew Jane's true identity and Becca preferred to keep it that way. Jane's eyes widened and she quickly glanced around to make sure they were truly alone. She shook her head and ran her hand through her long black hair, curlier then normal due to the constant moisture in the air.

"You are safe, you know that don't you?" Becca asked as she tilted her head to catch Jane's eye.

"It's not me I worry about."

"Every single one of them is being watched over, closely. You don't need to worry," she reassured Jane.

Jane sighed and wrapped Becca in a tight hug. As she pulled away and looked into Becks eyes she was sure she saw something more swim across them and Jane made a mental note to talk to her about it later. If she'd learned anything about her missed opportunity with Maura, it was to simply talk. Ask the questions she was afraid to ask. Jane smiled and thought to ask right then when her train of thought was interrupted by a shout from the kitchen.

"Okay you two… keep it in your pants! We are hungry!"

They turned, laughing together, silently agreeing to leave something's unsaid until later when they were alone. With that, they walked to the kitchen to enjoy an evening with their friends.


	4. Chapter 4

**Trust the journey...**

 **And thanks for the reviews :)**

* * *

Marshal Johnson looked across the table at her friends as they easily laughed and ate. She knew these people and cared for them deeply. They were what kept her grounded and she thought of them as family. She hated keeping secrets from them but she knew keeping Janes true identity secret was the only way. But she wished at least one of them knew. She had been struggling with her feelings for the raven-haired detective for the last 3 months and couldn't talk to anyone about the issues this presented. With the killer active again, she knew she would have a harder time keeping Jane out of the direct line of information. She knew that Jane was going to become harder to contain now that her family could be in the sights of the UNSUB.

Rebecca looked across the table towards Jane and caught Jane staring at her. She offered up a smile and Jane arched her eyebrow in silent question. Becca offered another smile and turned her attention towards her guests avoiding Jane's curious gaze. She would talk to Jane about her concerns later, now was not the time. Rebecca cringed as she felt her phone vibrate. She knew it would be the updated case file on the serial killer who had thrown Jane's life into a tales spin. She flipped the phone into silent mode, returning the phone to her pocket and rejoined the conversation.

"So, Liz, how is the world of the munchkins? Bet you're missing the big city right about now!" Laura questioned as she slipped her arm around the back of her wife's chair.

Jane smiled, still not quite use to the name she had been assigned.

"I do miss it, but the little one's grow on you as does the weather and people here. Some day I'd like to go back, but I'm not that home sick quite yet." Jane finished her sentence with a wink and a soft smile as she caught Becca's eye. Becca recognized the forced smile for it hadn't quite reached Jane's eyes. She knew it was hard at times to play the part when questions hit close to home.

The evening progressed and as the game ended in a complete shut out, the small group began to disband. Becca turned and headed to clean up the kitchen as Jane locked up and turned off the porch light. Jane flipped the various lights off as she headed towards the kitchen; she stopped to grab the two glasses left on the coffee table. As she turned the corner to the kitchen, she noticed Becca leaning over the sink, her fingers squeezing the bridge of her nose, desperately trying to alleviate the ache between her eyes as she rolled her shoulders several times.

Becca was exhausted. She couldn't wait for the weekend and their much-awaited fishing trip they were taking with the small group of friends. She was lost in thought as firm hands began to massage her shoulders. She rolled her head back, enjoying the sensation of the detective 's close proximity. She stiffened slightly as she realized her enjoyment and rolled her shoulders in hopes the detective would get the hint to stop. She couldn't deal with fighting her emotions when she was this tired, and giving in was not an option.

When Jane stopped the motion but left her hands on the Marshals shoulders, Becca realized she needed to set some sort of boundaries. She had seen them slowly start to slip into a grey area as the months of living their façade continued, pretending to be the happy newlyweds. Becca turned as Jane's hands slid up and down her arms softly. They stood in contemplative silence for a few moments, each trying to read the others mind.

When Becca dropped her eyes first, Jane softly asked, "What are you thinking?"

"Jane…" her voice cracked, "I think we need to… to set some rules…. for when we are alone."

"Is that so? Are you finding it hard to do your job Marshal?" Jane's voice was teasing, her brow arched suggestively but the question was real as Rebecca met her eyes.

"I am actually," she answered honestly. Jane dropped her hands from the marshal's shoulders and stepped backwards.

"I'll try harder to respect the lines while we are alone," Jane offered as she stepped towards the sink.

"Jane, it's not you. I… I find myself enjoying this masquerade more then I should… this is after all my job. I can't fall for the person I'm supposed to be protecting. You are unavailable in more ways then one."

Jane turned, letting the statement take root. She was against the rules for the marshal. She had felt the pull of loneliness more over the last few months and had caught herself disregarding the carefully laid rules more then once. She'd often rationalized that she was not tied to anyone back home and the one person she'd wanted, had chosen someone else.

Becca watched as the wheels turned in Jane's head. She knew the struggle the detective was facing. She had seen it ever so often as the detective wrestled with thoughts of Maura. Becca had listened to Jane's alcohol fueled revelations about her feelings for the M.E. for the first few months they had come to live together. She'd heard her say her name in the night from down the hall. Becca had even read about the M.E. in Jane's file. She knew little more then that of her and the M.E. was not included in the monthly reports from Boston that Becca passed on to Jane.

Becca smiled and patted the detectives' arm.

"You don't have to explain it to me Jane. I know better then to believe the lie we live." Becca turned and walked the short distance to the large den she used as an office. "I have some work to finish. I'll see you bright and early. Good night Jane." And with that Jane was left in the dark hallway.

Jane wondered how the pleasant evening had turned to one of frustration in a matter of moments. She had known how the Marshal felt, and she'd recognized a subtle shift happening over time between the two. She knew she had feelings for the Marshal. She'd realized their existence only recently, but what their extent was, she was still hazy on. They had developed a very close bond over the first few months as Jane had recovered from her severe leg injury. Jane was able to walk by the end of her first week in Washington, but only with the aid of a cane. The real issue was, the distance she was able to walk and the fact that she could not sit without great discomfort or get herself up from a sitting position without someone lifting her up. Physical therapy had been exceedingly difficult, and she still woke with her muscles aching some mornings. She'd noticed that her leg would act up on stormy days, which in Washington was fairly often. She'd also noticed that Rebecca had learned to read her face and she would silently offer Jane a hand at precisely the moment she needed it. They had learned to read one another early on in their time together and they had formed a bond unlike one Jane had had before with another woman. It was a silent adoration for one another. There was a feeling of maturity to their bond and Jane often found herself wondering how someone like Rebecca was unattached. Jane often compared their relationship to that of her friendship with Maura, but they were fundamentally different in every way. Jane and Maura had experienced struggle early on in their friendship with the havoc that was Hoyt. They had experienced moments, memories and emotions that two people rarely experience together. Maura filled a void in Jane that she'd never known to exist. She had quieted the demons that had haunted Jane for months. Maura had truly been her friend before Jane had developed feelings for her. She had been as fundamental as breathing to Jane's life, just eight months ago.

But then Agent Johnson had swooped in with her big blue eyes, blond pixie cut and her radiant smile, completed with dimples to throw a wrench into Jane's best laid plans. She was lean and athletic like Jane, and they enjoyed a mutual love of sports and beer. She was the oldest of 3 sisters and she was the tomboy of the girls. She was Maura's opposite in almost every way. The most glaring difference was that Becca was an out and proud lesbian while Maura was thousands of miles away, asleep next to the man who had her heart. Jane's complete emotional cycle always ended with that realization. Maura had continued living. She had continued to love someone that wasn't Jane. And here Jane was, obsessed with the ghost of the past. Jane knew she deserved to be happy; that it was what Maura would have wanted for her. Every time she had this inner monolog she came to this same conclusion; that she should move on, seek happiness and live. But she never could bring herself to follow her own conclusion. Jane shook her head and sighed, she knew she couldn't force away her feelings for Maura , just like she knew she couldn't force her feelings for the marshal, however different they were to decipher. Knowing she wouldn't be making any new decisions, Jane headed to her room and slowly changed before climbing into bed.

* * *

Becca stared at the computer screen. The crime scene photos pulled up in front of her. They eerily looked identical to the scenes from eight months ago. The only difference was that they looked cleaner. There seemed to be less of a struggle, less mess from a struggle, in these new photos. She made a mental note to look back and see if there had been forced entry. As she closed the file. She quickly skimmed over the other files that had been attached. She stopped when she noticed one labeled 'Autopsy.' Curiosity called to her and she double clicked the file. She couldn't help herself as she rolled the mouse down to the last page to see the signature of the examiner who had performed the autopsy.

Maura D. Isles-White


	5. Chapter 5

Rizzles is end game… But we are gonna have some bumps along the way….

* * *

Boston

Maura smiled at Jessica, the secretary in Laryssa's office. Jessica grinned and waved for Maura to come closer.

"Hi Maur! Her sessions have been running behind all day due to her meeting this morning, so if you want to take a seat, she'll be done in about 15 minutes."

"Thank you Jess but I'm thinking I've been sitting far to long today. I'm going to run down to get some coffee, can I get you anything?"

"oh yes! Tea please. Hold on while I grab my wallet," the secretary started rummaging in her drawer for her purse as Maura laughed at the girls clearly messy drawer spit out items as she rooted around.

"Jess," she whispered loudly, "don't worry about it, it's my treat." And with that she smiled and turned to head down the street to the small coffee house.

As Maura walked down the block, she sighed and smiled contently as the setting sun shined on her face. Spring was ending and the warm weather that hinted at summers approach had begun to grace the days. As she entered the coffee house, she smiled at the line in front of her. This place was always packed with patrons and Maura didn't mind waiting, as she loved the ambiance of her surroundings. They had made the coffee shop look like an old library with shelves cut out of the walls to house books all the way to the ceiling. There were couches and tables in small groups all around and a small stage at the back. Laryssa had brought Maura here many months ago after they had gone to a gallery opening and she had been in love with the small café since.

Two weeks after Jane had passed, Maura had responded to a scene not far from the café. It had been her first day back on the job and she had felt not at all together as she'd headed out that morning. As she'd lefty he scene to return to the morgue she stepped off the curb to get into her car without paying attention and full body checked a woman heading towards the sidewalk. Their purses had fallen to the ground and the women had smacked heads upon impact. Maura reached a hand up to her head as she started profusely apologizing.

"oh, I'm so sorry. I wasn't paying attention.""No, no…it's my fault. I should have looked up," the woman said as she wiggled her cell phone in front of Maura. As she lowered her phone and fully took in the face in front of her, she gasped.

"Maura Isles?!" she exclaimed.

Maura looked up from the ground where she had started collecting the few items that had escaped her purse and paused. She regarded the face as she stood and as she came too full height, the face registered in her memory.

"Laryssa?"

"What a small world! I haven't seen you since college! How have you been?"

"I'm…. oh I'm so sorry to have ran into you like that!" Maura paused as she noticed blood escape from Laryssa's brown line and slowly make it's way down the side of the woman's face. She stepped forward, invading the woman's space.

"I don't want to alarm you, but you seemed to have sustained an injury in our collision. You are bleeding."

The woman in front of her seemed to have registered the wetness on her face and moved a hand to locate the source. Maura stepped forward to stop her hand. "If I may, I'm a doctor…. I'll take a look at it for you. I'll just need you to sit down." She stated as she pulled out gauze from her bag and placed it at the source of the blood. The woman gratefully smiled and placed her hand over Maura's to hold the gauze.

"My office is actually two blocks over. We can head there, if you don't mind."

"Not a problem, let me just make a phone call." Maura pulled out her cell phone and as she pressed the familiar preset, her brain didn't register what she had done until she heard the detective's voicemail. "Jane…" Maura gasped quietly as She pulled the phone from her ear as if it had burned her. A strange sense of horror gripped her, as she had not heard that voice in weeks. She stared at the offending device before she remembered her original plan in pulling out her phone and called Suzie to informed her of the body headed into the morgue, and that she would be in soon.

The exchange did not go unnoticed by Maura's college friend and she silently worked the exchange into what little information she had heard about the M.E. in recent years. She had seen her picture in the paper a few weeks back in reference to a case where a decorated Officer had been killed. She hadn't known the woman had stayed in Boston after med school, but she now knew she was the Chief ME of the common wealth.

Maura finished her phone call and smiled softly.

"This way," Laryssa motioned and they set off in the direction of her office. They fell into small talk about their love of the city as they moved past historical buildings and they had begun to talk about their lives since college when they arrived at Laryssa's office. Maura paused as she noticed the sign noting that her friend was not simply Laryssa, she was Laryssa White PhD. She was a psychologist and they had arrived at her practice. From the looks of the directory, the office housed multiple Psychologists specializing in many different areas. Maura turned to the Doctor and raised an eyebrow in question. Laryssa laughed at the look on Maura's face as she placed a hand to the small of her back, leading her towards the elevator.

"Don't look so surprised Maura," Laryssa said as she softly laughed.

"I… I never knew you were…" Maura trailed off as the elevator chimed signaling their arrival. As they entered a waiting area, a tall brunette in her early 20's came around the desk to greet them.

"Lyssa, your first appointment just called and cancelled. I've rescheduled her for next week…. Wait…What happened? Are you bleeding?!"

"Oh it's nothing, a small run in with something hard, but I'll be fine." Laryssa smiled pleasantly as she winked at Maura but failed to explain the blood soaked gauze to her secretary.

"… alright," the secretary paused, unsure if she should push her sister/boss in front of the stranger. "I'm about to head out and get our breakfast order, should I add another?" The secretary fully turning to recognize the new comer.

"Oh! I'm sorry. Jessica, this is Dr. Maura Isles. We went to college together and happened to run into one another this morning." Laryssa turned to Maura as She and Jess shook hands.

"Have you eaten yet Maura?"

Maura paused, had she eaten this morning? Her diet of saltines, Bourbon and coffee could hardly be considered healthy, but she hadn't been hungry in weeks.

"I'll take that as a no. Jess, please add another order, Thank you. Buzz me when you return."

And Jess was off. She glanced back at the newcomer to the office and silently wondered how long it would be before she was baring her soul to her older sister. Jessica had worked for Laryssa for too many years to know the look on the woman's face. She had demons that needed to be dealt with, even if she didn't realize it yet.

Maura had quickly bandaged the Doctors head and they had fallen into friendly chatter as they waited for Jessica's return. The more they had talked, the more Laryssa realized the pain Maura was guarding, and how truly close to the surface her pain really was. When Jess returned, they all sat and ate together, recanting how they had "bumped" into one another and stories from college. Maura was impressed to realize that Laryssa had started the group that now took up residency in the building. She had pulled fellow psychologists from her years of college and travels to create a practice that she was proud of. Maura was even more impressed to learn that not only did her sister Jess work as her secretary but her brother was also a psychologist in the building, specializing in couple's therapy.

When Jess quietly excused her self to get back to work, Maura glanced down at her watch and found her self surprised at the time. Having been in comfortable conversation, the outside world and all sense of time had fallen away. She knew she needed to return to work, but something kept her rooted to her seat. She had felt so alone in the last few weeks, and she enjoyed being around someone who didn't look at her with pity. Someone who didn't know that her world had just fallen apart, and that she was treading water.

Maura finally stood to excuse her self and she was pleasantly surprised as Laryssa walked her back down to the front of the building and then continued with her to her car. They spoke off and on, and Maura enjoyed their small talk more then she usually enjoyed the uncomfortable necessity. As they turned the corner to find Maura's prius, Laryssa placed her hand on Maura's arm to stop her. She turned to face Maura and smiled.

"Maura, I'm going to a gallery opening Friday evening, would you like to join me? I'm afraid I've dragged Jess to one too many and she is in open rebellion about being taken to anymore."

Maura didn't even think before nodding her head yes and smiling. She knew she needed to fill more of her time with the things she loved. She wasn't doing anyone any good by remaining a shut in.

"I'd love to."

"Perfect. I'll call you later and let you know what time I'll pick you up." Laryssa smiled, a beautiful smile that reached her eyes and Maura couldn't help smiling back.

Laryssa hugged Maura in good by and the two women parted ways.

* * *

Maura smiled at the memory as she reached the counter to order coffee. She ordered and stepped off to the side to wait for her order.

She smiled as she recounted over the last 8 months. Laryssa had stepped into her life effortlessly and Maura still marveled at how her life had changed. They had spent months talking late Into the night and early morning, seeing exhibits, attending charity events and developing a deep friendship. Laryssa stayed up many a nights listening to Maura's secret regret about the fallen detective.. She understood and walked Maura through the healing process. She had helped Maura stitch her fragmented pieces back together and she had never asked for anything more then Maura's company in exchange.

When Laryssa told Maura that she had been engaged when her partner was killed by a drunk driver, Maura felt a shift in their relationship. Some how the knowledge that Laryssa was a lesbian made Maura pull closer to the woman. She had realized she had developing feelings for Laryssa, but she had felt as if some how her feelings for the doctor were betraying Jane's memory. She had also allowed her self to fall into the same bad habit of worrying what would become of their friendship if she acted out on her developing feelings. But life seemed to have it's own agenda in pushing the women together. As she tried to distance herself from Laryssa she found her self drawing closer to her instead. The doctor was thoughtful, considerate and never pushed Maura for anything more then her friendship. But yet she had no problem holding Maura when she leaned in on the couch or placing her hand at the small of Maura's back as they walked. Maura loved being touched by the doctor and relished In the comfort it brought to her by a simple touch.

At first it had scared Maura. She felt like having lost Jane only 6 months before, she was moving too fast. It had taken a late night bump into Angela for Maura to realize how much she had come to love Laryssa. Angela had hugged Maura at the end of their talk and told her to not waste time waiting. That waiting had cost her and Jane an opportunity to find happiness together and that life only gave you so many opportunities before they were taken away. So Maura had stayed up the rest of that night pondering over how to tell the Therapist she had feelings for her. She was no closer to an actual plan when she'd stepped out of the elevator to Laryssa's office 3 hours later. She'd decided to just simply tell her how she felt and see where it went. She'd already learned what loss felt like and knew that if Laryssa turned away form her she would be able to make it, but deep down, Maura knew she wouldn't be turned away.

Her mind told her to go slower while her heart desperately just wanted to love and be loved in return. She'd felt so much pain lately that all she wanted was to feel the way she felt when she was with the Doctor. While she thought of Jane, she no longer felt the sting of loss when she was with Laryssa. She knew the Doctor cared deeply for her and it was clear in the quiet reverence she spoke and listened to Maura. Maura had introduced her to her work friends and to the Rizzolis and everyone blindly accepted the new woman in Maura's life.

"Maura? … Earth to Maura?"

Maura was standing in the waiting room, having lost herself in the thoughts that consumed her.

"Maura, are you alright? Have a seat, I'm gone get Laryssa," Jess was leading her to one of the soft chairs in the corner and turned, knocking on the closed office door.

"I'm alright Jess. I just need to talk to Laryssa" Maura stated, her determination growing as she stood there looking at the sister of the woman she had come to love.

The door opened as Laryssa emerged. "Jess,, I thought my first appointment wasn't…" she paused when she saw the M.E standing there…. "Maura?"

"Hi…" Maura stepped towards the doctor.

"Hi…" Laryssa responded, searching Maura's eyes for a sign of anything. Maura had been doing so well lately and she instantly worried something had happened to bring the M.E here so early on a work day.

"Can we talk?" Maura implored

"Sure, come on in." Laryssa opened the door further to allow her to walk in. She closed the door and turned to find Maura standing behind her. "Everything okay Maur?"

Maura closed what little space separated them, putting her lips on Laryssa. Softly at first, waiting to see how the doctor responded. Any doubt Maura had was immediately erased as Laryssa grabbed her tightly pulling her as close to her as possible. When Maura broke the kiss off she leaned back just enough to focus on the doctors eyes. She saw a guarded desire surface and she smiled wickedly. She'd been right in her feelings. Proud of herself she pulled the doctor in for another kiss. When they pulled away the second time Laryssa placed her forehead against Maura's.

"Hi…" She whispered

"Hi…" Maura grinned as she gently caressed the doctors cheek.

* * *

Two months later they had gone on vacation to St. Thomas for a belated Valentines celebration when they decided to get married. They had stayed up all night talking and as the sun rose, Maura had been the one to suggest they get married. Laryssa had simple stared at her waiting for the M.E to realized the slip. When Maura smiled and laughed asking,

"Is that a no?"

Laryssa looked into Maura's eyes and realized she was serious. Laryssa had always had a plan. She had always had back up plans for when her plans fell through. She was a planner. But nothing in any plan she had ever made prepared her for Maura. She knew she was a goner from the first night they had gone to the Gallery opening. She had marveled at the depth that was Maura Isles and she had thanked her lucky stars that she had been running late that morning they had bumped into one another. But Maura had lost her love, and Laryssa knew that as a slippery slope and she knew she couldn't be anything more then a friend to Maura. When their relationship started to change, Laryssa had made sure to keep one foot grounded. She knew Maura could be experiencing any number of things and they all ended with Laryssa alone and heart broken. But when Maura had come to her office that morning, three months ago, clearly having not slept, to tell Laryssa that she was not going to hide behind her fears, that she was all in if Laryssa was too, everything changed. Laryssa often wondered what kind of woman Jane had been and how she had allowed someone like Maura Isles to continuously slip through her fingers.

"Of course I'll marry you…."

They had returned from their vacation 3 days earlier and they'd fallen back into their routines as if nothing had changed. They had integrated their lives so throughly before they'd left that they found very little changed when they returned. They had invited everyone who mattered to them to meet at the Robber that evening where they would announce their marriage and their desire to start looking for a new home for them to make their own.

Maura was lost in thought as she sensed the owner of the hands before they had even come in contact with her. She leaned back slightly as a soft kiss was placed on the top of her ear. "Hello Beautiful," came the greeting.

Maura turned in her wife's arms and smiled into the kiss that was pressed to her lips. A gaging sound and a soft giggle coming from next to them interrupted their greeting. Maura laughed and looked over at the offended party.

"Jess, jealousy really isn't your color." Maura felt Laryssa laugh as she kept her arm wrapped around Maura's back. Jess simple spit her tongue out at Maura as their order was called out.

"White. Order's up!"


	6. Authors note

**So quick little note… In chapter 4, it's said that Marshal has no more info about Maura then what she's read in Janes file. Which if they never admitted to one another their feelings, would be a pretty generic report of their work relationship and what they went through with Patty and Hoyt.**

 **P.S…. Nothing has happened between Jane and the Marshal. They are simply skirting around the idea of something. I love that people passionately dislike her, but honestly she hasn't done anything to garner our hatred.**

 **As to Maura getting married... She wasn't in an actual relationship with Jane. Every person moves on and processes grief at different levels and different times. To say 8 months was not sufficient is for no one to say. We also haven't seen if problems arise due to her maybe not having actually processed her grief completely. Don't martyr anyone yet. :)**

 **Ps… She ran into the psychologist 2 weeks after Janes death. It wasn't until 6 months after that they started anything. Times are always hard to follow but it was necessary to time jump to further the story.**

 **Trust me or don't…. It should be a fun little ride without too many casualties.**


	7. Chapter 6

8 months. It had been 8 months since that damn detective had stuck her nose into their plans and things had gone wrong. 8 months of waiting in the shadows, biding time. 8 months to line up the next sinners. 8 months knowing there was more work to be done and not being able to do anything about it. But soon. Soon the world would know the wrath of God again. His source had told him that the trail had gone cold. The files laid untouched on someone's desk as the crime in Boston continued. Luckily these last 8 months had given them time to refine their methods and the path was now clear. It was time to come out of the shadows.

* * *

It had been too easy. They never even cast a glance in the direction of the shadow lurking in the alley. The door had already been tampered with so that when they entered the latch wouldn't catch. It made him sick watching them parade around in public. How a man could have sunk so low, he would never understand. It filled him with rage as he climbed the stairs slowly to their 4th floor apartment. His flexed his fingers into fists as anger coursed through him. He would make them pay, they would see.

He stopped at the landing making sure the hallway was clear as he slipped his gloves on. The elevator took 42 seconds to reach their floor, which meant they were already in their apartment.

He slipped down the hallway to the door. The tape over the knock out held and the door had not latched, but closed making it look secure. He paused and waited to see if he could hear them. With no noise coming from the apartment he slowly crept in. The lights were out except for the one coming from behind the bedroom door. He silently pulled out his gun and the silencer he'd made himself and quickly attached them together. He turned the handle and took a deep breath. He moved into the bedroom and quickly searched out the blond standing in the bathroom brushing his teeth. This was going to be easier then he thought he mused.

The blond glanced up, catching the intruders reflection in the mirror, a look of horror crossing his face a second before his life ended. The shattering glass alerted the man laying in bed, and as he stood to check on his partner, the intruder stood from his crouched position.

"Who are you?"

The intruder smirked and raised the gun. "I'm the angel of death. I'm here to send you to hell."

* * *

Maura stood in the kitchen looking out the bay window onto the street below. She'd been all to willing to move out of her Beacon Hill home after her and Laryssa had married. Angela had convinced her not to sell the home yet as she worried she would regret the move later on down the road and had offered to rent the home from Maura. Maura couldn't visit Angela for too long in her home. It brought too many memories of Jane. Maura shuttered as she thought of the bodies laying in her morgue. The killer who had taken Jane from her was active again. Her dreams had been filled with Jane. Maura felt immeasurable guilt over the happiness the dream brought her. Jane's laugh, her smile, her gorgeous long black hair, her incessant teasing. Maura had awoken that morning and felt a sudden layer of guilt blanket her as she'd awoken to see Laryssa sleeping peacefully next to her. Her guilt had lead her out of bed an hour earlier then normal and had landed her in the window seat with strong coffee and her thoughts. Maura knew she was happy. Laryssa listened to her, respected her, loved her and she even understood her. But it was a different relationship from the one she had shared with Jane and she worried Laryssa knew it. Another reason Maura felt a ting of guilt.

She couldn't stop the thoughts of Jane from intruding into her brain since the grizzly discovery of the two bodies the day before. The tell tall sign of their serial killer was painted on the wall above the victim. "Redemption" had been crudely written in the victims blood above the body. It had struck Maura as odd that only one victim was mutilated and the other victims blood had been used in the writing of the word. It was the progression in the killers technic and subsequent psyche that had gotten Laryssa involved and Maura was on edge. They would both be on the BPD task force constructed with the sole purpose of catching the redemption killer.

* * *

Laryssa awoke to find Maura already out of bed and the smell of coffee permeating the air. She knew the doctor hadn't slept well and had figured there would be an issue or two with the case they were working as it was the killer who had killed her best friend the year before. Laryssa also suspected Maura was not pleased with her accepting being apart of the task force. They had talked until late in the evening about the dangers. Laryssa laid back and let her mind drift to the day before.

She knew her day was going to be different when Jess had met her in the foyer of the building.

"Morning sis... We have a last minute appointment waiting in your office." Jess explained.

"Who?"

"I only got one card, she's with the FBI. The other is a detective with BPD." Jess shrugged as she dispensed what little info she had.

"Okay. Call my 8 o'clock and tell her that we are pushing back a half hour," Laryssa paused as the reached the elevator. They stood in silence as they rode up the four floors and exited the elevator. Laryssa turned as she reached her office door, "hold all my calls and if Maura calls, tell her I'll call her back as soon as I'm done."

Jess nodded and gave her a thumbs up as Laryssa entered her office. The two residing in her office, stood and turned to greet the Doctor. She'd recognized them both, one from news paper clippings and the other from Sunday dinners.

"Dr. White. Good morning." Korsak greeted his colleagues wife with a warm but guarded smile.

" Lieutenant Korsak, good morning. Always a pleasure to see you," Laryssa smiled as she reached out to shake his hand.

"Sorry to barge in on you this morning. This is Agent Ashley Black with the FBI. We've had a development in a case and we'd like to get your help on it." Korsak said as the Agent and Doctor shook hands.

"Of course, I'll answer any questions I can. Please sit down. Would you like some coffee?"

After getting the coffee orders and sending Jess to retrieve them, the door closed and everyone seated, Korsak cleared his throat and leaned forward slightly.

"Doctor White, we've come to contract you to work directly with our task force we are creating to capture a serial killer. We will need you to create a psychological profile for our UNSUB and work directly with our detectives and the FBI."

Laryssa nodded her head and reached for her pad of paper as she asked, "is this an established serial killer or someone who is just starting?"

Korsak and Agent Black exchanged looks and Korsak nodded slightly towards the agent.

"Doctor, the killer we are looking for is the same one who killed Detective Rizzoli eight months ago." The Agent paused and watched the Doctors face. Recognition passed across her face as well as an slight downward angling of her eyebrows. The Agent thought it odd that something akin to anger passed across the Doctors face. She logged it away as a reaction to the doctors wife's strong relationship with the deceased detective and watched as the doctor replaced any emotion with a calm façade and nodded.

"He's active again then?" Laryssa asked meeting the Agents eyes across the desk.

"As of last night, the Redemption killer has activated again, yes."

"Maura…." Laryssa whispered as she consciously placed her hand on her pocket over her cell phone, instinctively thinking of calling her wife to check on her.

"Doctor Isles is currently working on the autopsies and will have a preliminary with in the next few hours. She has been asked to be apart of the task force as well." Korsak stated in a reassuring tone, making eye contact with Laryssa. Laryssa nodded. Maura was safe at the precinct and She exhaled the breath she didn't realize she was holding.

"Doctor, we will be setting up a command center at BPD. I understand you have a thriving practice here, but we will need you fairly often to lend your professional assessments. We will have a space for you to come and work, and we've asked everyone to keep all copies of case files at the station in an effort to stay out in front of the media on this. We have a few trademarks to the killings that the public doesn't know and we'd like to keep it that way as long as possible as to avoid any copy cats."

"I understand. I still have clients I need to see, but majority of them we can work around my schedule as it is needed. I can even have my brother step in on a few and that way I can free up some more time if needs be."

"We appreciate that Doctor. We would like to have a joint meeting with everyone involved tomorrow morning at 9. We can have all the files copied and ready for you before the meeting if you'd like to start before. We don't want to take too much of your time this morning, but I'd like to have a sit down tomorrow after the meeting and get some initial thoughts." The agent stood and Korsak followed. Laryssa stood and ushered them towards the door as it opened.

"I apologize…. I…. Lyssa, here are your coffees and your 8 o'clock is waiting, not so patiently might I add…" Jessica stammered as she held out the tray of coffees, clearly having been startled by them at the door.

"We apologize, we were just leaving," the agent said as she took the tray of drinks. "Thank you."

The Agent handed Korsak his drink and took hers as they headed towards the front desk on their way out. She paused and turned to thank the doctor and shake hands.

"I'll be there at 8 to get a head start before the meeting." Laryssa stated as they shook hands.

"That will work. See you then. Thank you Doctor."

As the Detective and Agent passed the reception desk on their way to the elevator, the FBI agent paused at the desk, "Thanks again for the coffee," she smiled and nodded at Jess in passing. Jess smiled and shrugged her shoulders as if to say 'no problem' and gave a small laugh when the agents smile grew and she winked at the receptionist.

Laryssa smiled and rolled her eyes at her sister. She laughed as she turned to Ms. Roberts and apologized for the delay and that she would be ready for her in just a minute. Laryssa turned to Jess and motioned with her head towards her office. The grin Jess had sported for the Agent still plastered on her face as she stood and headed towards the office. She was a flirt and Laryssa had seen many a men and women fall prey to her sisters charm. As the door closed Laryssa chuckled as she turned to her little sister.

"Really?"

"What?" Jessica shrugged and smiled at her sister. "Seriously… What?!"

"You just can't help yourself can you?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about!" Jess fringed innocence as she sat her sisters coffee down on the desk.

"You're helpless!"Laryssa laughed as she nudged her sisters shoulder.

They shared a small giggle and Jess was the first to sober as she turned to Laryssa and asked, "Everything okay?"

Laryssa nodded solemnly, "I've been asked to work on a special task force. We are going to have to do a lot of adjusting on my schedule later. Let's do lunch in the office and take care of the next few days. By then I'll have an idea as to how much I'll be needed at headquarters."

"I'll start going over it now and hopefully we won't have to stay too late tonight." Jess said as she moved towards the door.

"Thanks Jess. I appreciate all your help."

"That's what I'm here for sister!" Jess said as she gave a small salute and closed the office door.

The day progressed with her normal clients and she was all to happy when Maura texted and said she'd be meeting her at the office after her last appointment to take them all to dinner. It'd been a long day and Laryssa was feeling anxious to talk with Maura about the task force and how she was feeling about the latest developments in the case that had resulted in her best friend being killed.

Lunch proved to be fruitful and they managed to rearrange Laryssa schedule and pass off a few new clients to her brother. When Laryssa told Jess to expect Maura and that they would all be heading out to dinner together, Laryssa laughed out loud when Jess asked if perhaps Maura could bring the hot agent from earlier with her. Laryssa rolled her eyes and threw her napkin at her baby sister and teasingly told her she could accompany her in the morning to BPD if she was serious about seeing said agent again. Jess was all too eager to accept the offer and the two laughed. They enjoyed the rest of their lunch talking about Jess's many exploits and her antics with her latest failed attempt at a relationship.

The alarm sounding stirred Laryssa from her memory and she rolled over to flick the annoying sound off. She slowly got up and wrapped herself in her favorite robe and headed down the stairs. She turned the corner and stopped in her tracks as she noticed Maura sitting in the bay window lost in thought. It was moments like this that Laryssa knew she'd made the right decision, taking the leap that morning in the Caribbean and married Maura. Maura sat in sweats and a old t-shirt, back lit by the rising sun, the sun illuminating the red undertones in her hair. She looked to be glowing, but yet the creases in her forehead let on that she was deep in thought. Laryssa leaned against the door jam and enjoyed watching the doctor concentrate and slowly sip from her mug for a few minutes before approaching slowly and laying her hand on Maura's shoulder. Maura instinctively reached for the hand on her should and leaned her head to lightly kiss the palm.

"Morning love." Laryssa whisper behind Maura's ear as she leaned down and kissed Maura. Her lips were warm from the rising sun and Laryssa smiled as Maura kissed her again. Laryssa pulled back and met Maura's eyes. She saw regret flick across the ME's eyes as she broke eye contact and looked at her hands in her lap. Laryssa sat down next to Maura as she lifted Maura's chin up to meet her eyes.

"what's going through that beautiful head of yours?" Laryssa implored, silently searching Maura's eyes.

"Guilt."

Laryssa paused as she let the single word sink in. She told her mind not to run with the one worded answer and to hear Maura out.

Maura saw the concern flood her wife's face and immediately regretted not saying more. But where to start?

"Laryssa… I… I don't mean about us. You know I'm happy here with you and that I love you. But with the case bringing up the past, it's been hard for me to compartmentalize my feelings and not feel guilty for having those feelings when I was so deliriously happy just yesterday."

Laryssa signed and nodded her understanding. "Maura, Hun, you should never feel guilty for having feelings. She was your best friend and you loved her. She died and those feeling aren't going to go away any time soon. Don't feel guilty, and don't hide those feelings. Open communication is the only way we are going to work anything out and this isn't something you should feel guilt about." Laryssa smiled and pulled her wife towards her in a tight hug and she kissed her softly on the forehead.

Maura sighed and leaned her body against Laryssa. "I love you. I don't know what I would have done had I not bumped into you that day," she whispered as she gazed out the window.

Laryssa smiled as she kissed Maura's temple. "I love you Maura."

They stayed wrapped up in each others arms for longer then they should have and spent the rest of the morning rushing to get out the door together and off to work. They stopped and grabbed Jessica on their way to BPD. As Jess climbed into the car, Maura turned a questioning gaze towards their passenger.

"Hi Maur!" Jess exclaimed excitedly.

"Morning Jess…" Maura trailed off as she took in Jess's outfit. A black pencil skirt, matching black pumps, a salmon colored button up, only buttoned up half way, leaving way too much cleavage exposed, a black vest and a low hanging necklace, drawing even more attention to Jess's cleavage, finished off the outfit. Jess laughed as Maura finished looking her over and their eyes met.

"Maura… You do know you're married to my sister, don't you?" Jess teased, giving Maura a wink.

Laryssa laughed from the drivers seat and turned to see Maura flush slightly. She laughed harder when Maura turned and looked as if she'd been caught with her hand in the cookie jar.

"…I….," Maura stammered.

Laryssa placed a hand on Maura's thigh. "Don't let her tease you babe. She's only dressed up to impress the FBI agent from yesterday. She's got her sights set on this months flavor."

Maura smiled and intertwined her hand into her wife's. "Well if it doesn't work out with the FBI agent, there will be a line of officers waiting for a chance after she walks through BPD wearing that!"

They all laughed as they made their way towards BPD.

* * *

 ** _A/N: sorry for the long pause… I got married and that required all my attention! Sorry, not sorry ;)_**


	8. Chapter 7

Washington

One week later

It had been one week since the Redemption killer had activated and Jane had spent the week combing through all the newspapers at the school. There had been nothing new in the papers and it seemed like the BPD had managed to keep a tight lid on any details leaking to the press. Jane was beginning to get anxious as no new news had made it's way to her. Rebecca had been working longer hours then normal and was currently out of town on an assignment, returning the next morning. Things between them had been left in an odd state and she hadn't called Jane once while she was out on assignment. Jane hadn't thought she'd care but as the week had progressed, she found her self wondering if the marshal was alright and how her latest case was going. Her two watch dogs had been less then talkative and she missed the friendly banter with Becca. Things had all been different since the morning after their last game night.

* * *

Jane had awoken the morning after Jane had found out the killer had activated again and she found Becca in the kitchen already dressed and grabbing her keys to leave.

"I was called in, they want a briefing about how things have been going up here and if there has been any activity." Rebecca paused, weighing something on her mind for a few minutes before deciding to just say it. "Jane… I need you be on guard, they may ask that you stay home after our briefing today…" … "We also need to talk about a few things when I get home tonight." Rebecca stated as she walked towards the garage door. The thought of telling Jane about Maura's briefing and about the fact that she had followed through with her marriage weighted on her mind since reading the report the night before.

In the first few months of Jane being in the system, she had been in rehab working to repair the damage done by the killer. She had done well with her path to recovery until one day when she slipped on the snow and pulled a muscle in her upper thigh. The muscle had torn where it had been healing and it had set Jane back a ways on her recovery. That night after coming home from the hospital, in a painkiller induced state, Jane had told Becca all about Maura's impending marriage and how she had left knowing Maura would be fine with her new husband to keep her safe and comforted. That she wouldn't be needed because Maura had Jack. She had begun to sound like a broken record continuously looping the same info about the Doctor when Jane remembered that Rebecca could obtain information for her, Jane then moved on to repeatedly asking Rebecca if she could find out if they had married yet. In her state of mind and the desperateness of the plea, Becca had promised to find out. She knew Jane didn't remember the conversation from that night, but she did. She needed to tell her what she had read in the case files and what she had learned. Tonight… She would tell her tonight, but for now… She was going to be late!

"I'll see you tonight then…" Jane said to the marshal's back as the door closed. Jane stared at the closed door for a few minutes wondering what had happened from last night to this morning. She was still contemplating the question as the day progressed and well into the night as the Marshal didn't make it home at her regular time. Jane picked up the house phone and started to dial Becca's number as she heard the garage door open. Jane leaned against the counter, arms crossed, ready to give the marshal hell for not calling. As the door opened, Jane grinned, ready to razz the marshal.

"Look who's too good to give a girl a call! Two hours late huh? Well she had better have been…." Jane's joke died as she noticed Becca wasn't alone. Wyatt and another female marshal walked up the steps into the house as the door closed.

"Liz…. Can we talk for a second?" Becca asked as she walked up to greet Jane, and remove her coat.

"Sure…" Jane turned to the other Marshals and smiled. "There is hot lasagna in the oven if you guys are hungry, we will be right back."

Jane followed Becca down the hall to Jane's room and closed the door behind her.

"what's happened?" Jane questioned with out waiting for Becca to speak.

"There have been two more victims."

"When? I checked the papers today…" Jane crossed her arms and started pacing.

"They were found this evening. We don't think the killer planed on us finding them so soon. Thank goodness they had a nosy neighbor otherwise it would have been a day or two before we found them. The time and day of death are consistent with all the others. They should rename this guy the Tuesday killer…" Rebecca trailed off and paused to rub her temples. She was tired and she wanted to get some sleep.

"So why the extra help tonight?"

"Jane, my bosses think I need to bring in two more people to help protect you. I'm briefing them tonight who you are and about your case. There will be someone with you at all times from here on out."

Jane scoffed and opened her mouth to complain about being babysat when Rebecca held up a hand to stop her. "Don't. Please don't say you don't need it or want it. I have to go out of town for a few days on assignment and there needs to be someone here with you." Jane opened her mouth and Rebecca shook her head. "It's not open for discussion Jane."

Jane crossed her arms and turned to walk out the door. "Jane, wait… there is something else you should know…" Rebecca started as Jane opened the bedroom door.

"If I have no say with anything happening, what could I possibly need to know?" Jane asked, staring down the marshal, petulantly.

"Acting like a child is not going to make this any better or easier for either of us. Let me do my job and stop acting like this!" Rebecca could feel her tired body taking over and knew she needed to take a minute away to calm down. She knew yelling at Jane wasn't going to solve anything, but she couldn't stop herself. She couldn't bring herself back down and she couldn't back down. Jane needed to recognize who was in charge and that the system only worked if she followed the rules.

Jane grinned, almost enjoying watching the marshal lose her cool. She missed being able to get under peoples skin. Jane also knew that smiling, as the marshal got angry would only serve to frustrate her further. Another tactic she'd picked up being a cop all those years.

Rebecca clued into Jane's tactics the minute she grinned as she finished her rant. She knew the detective was purposefully pushing her buttons, but what Rebecca couldn't figure out, was why? Rebecca smiled at Jane and shook her head.

"You're good. I can see why you are such a good cop." Rebecca laughed and stepped towards the detective. "But this doesn't change anything. A marshal will be with you at all times while I am gone. You can have them in a car near by if you choose, but you'll need to be in sight at all times…. Understood?"

Jane crossed her arms again and looked defeated. "You know, if you just gave me a gun, I could take care of myself."

"You already had a gun. You had a gun when you got into this mess. Giving you a gun isn't going to offer any more protection then we will."

"Ouch… that was a hard hit below the belt there marshal." Jane laughed uncomfortably at the remark.

"Jane, I apologize. I'm tired and exhausted. It took me all day convincing them not to ship you off to a secure location and have you locked up until he is caught. I leave at 4am on a flight and briefing these guys is going to take at least an hour or two." Rebecca signed as she started rubbing her temples.

"Becks, listen, I shouldn't have pushed you. I apologize. I know your under a lot of stress and worrying about me on top of your day to day job… I'm sorry."

Rebecca stood still, listening to Jane's apology as if it was gospel. She couldn't help the large grin plastered across her face as she shook her head when Jane finished.

"Jane… I do believe you're going soft on me. That's the first time I've heard you apologize for anything in 8 months!"

"That can't be true…."Jane let her sentence trail off as she thought back to the last eight months. As she got lost in the thought, she realized it was true. She smiled shyly and shrugged she shoulders. "Maybe I am going soft!" But even as Jane said it, she knew she wasn't. She questioned if she always played it this way and never apologized. She couldn't remember the last time she'd actually said she was sorry to someone.

Rebecca saw Jane retreat into a thought and made to move past her and rejoin the others in the kitchen. As she reached the door she turned to Jane. "What I was going to tell you had nothing to do with the case directly. I read some files filled out by Dr. Isle. Although now she's going by Dr Isle-White. I thought you should know, she seems to be doing okay. She is about to have a paper published and she will be presenting it as a keynote speaker at BCU next week. I know we don't include any updates on her in your briefings on your family, but I thought I'd let you know."

Jane felt the wind rush out of her lungs. She hadn't expected that bit of information. She hadn't heard anything of Maura in almost 9 months. She knew she would move on, but this felt different. The reality of it was crushing. She acknowledged in that moment that she'd hoped Maura had loved her and that she couldn't have moved on with Jack and that when she'd returned that she could make everything right and that they would still have a chance.

Jane stood still as endless thoughts crossed her mind. Rebecca worried if she shouldn't have told the detective about the ME. But she'd known for sometime now that Jane had been waiting on word of her best friend. Rebecca had long suspected there was more to their friendship but Jane had always sworn that they were just friends, that nothing had ever progressed for them. Rebecca had only ever met Maura briefly as she'd gone to collect the Detective from her hospital bed the night that she'd disappeared. Maura was beautiful and Becca couldn't blame the detective for her crush. Becca had also run into the ME's fiancé as well and knew the love triangle happen between them all was one she couldn't understand. Maura had acted the part of a dutiful wife to Jane once she'd been brought in to the hospital that day. She left her side only to speak to Janes doctors, to fend off her fiancé and to allow other family members to visit the ICU.

The arrival of the fiancé had sent the picture Rebecca had painted in her head, as she sat waiting for her turn to see the detective, spiraling. She had assumed the two women were together and when Maura revealed she was Janes power of attorney, Rebecca thought her reading of the situation was correct. The arrival of the fiancé had changed everything she suspected. With Jack's arrival she requested Janes files be sent to her phone. Convincing people to enter Witness protection was not always easy. There were times she had to play on their love of family or keeping loved ones safe in order to convince them to enter.

Rebecca was startled by a noise from down stairs and returned her gaze to Jane, who still seemed lost in thought. Her brow creased as she continued to process the new information. Rebecca cleared her throat and quietly excused herself to see to the other marshals.

Jane stood in the quiet of the room for longer then she realized before she slowly changed into shorts and a t-shirt and climbed into bed. Her thoughts went to Rebecca's comment about never apologizing and all the things that had happened in the past. She'd never thought apologizing was necessary, but looking back on the flack she gave her mother, brothers, partners and especially Maura, she realized she should have said it more often then not. She probably should have appreciated them more too. God knew she'd put them through hell and that they'd suffered in different ways, but she'd never honestly stopped to ponder how the past had affected them. She reprimanded herself with her selfishness and her lack of thinking of others. Even now, in her situation, she'd never thought of how this had/would affect them. They thought she was dead. How were they going to feel when she suddenly walked back into their lives? Would an apology be enough? How do you even begin to apologize for the heart ache they had all been through? Her mothers worst fears would have come true when she had died. Maura had never known how much she had truly meant to her and neither had her brothers or partners. Part of her thought the fact that she was back should be enough, but she knew that would never make up for the fear and pain they had gone through. Jane signed and rolled over to try and sleep as a silent tear slipped down her cheek.

* * *

Rebecca served herself some lasagna and turned to her collages and smiled. "Alright, lets get to work. I have new assignments for both of you."

The next hour passed with little questioning from the two and Becca couldn't have been happier. She knew they both had bought the story of her marriage and had both been happy for their boss and friend. As she turned to read the email that had just come through with her information regarding the itinerary for her trip she was surprised to read that she was heading to Boston and her thoughts turned to the woman sleeping in her spare room. A part of her felt for the woman and the struggle that had become her life as of late. She knew that she struggled being stuck, that she seriously missed being a cop and that she was going to become harder to protect as the killer continued on his rampage.

Wyatt cleared his throat, bringing Becca back to the present and she smiled, "I apologize. We are done for the evening, if there are no questions. I leave at 0400 and want updates every 4 hours. I'll be back in 4-5 days depending on what the Boston office needs of me."

The marshals got up and headed to the door. Rebecca said goodnight and turned to close the door when a hand stopped the door. Some what alarmed, Rebecca turned quickly to find Wyatt still standing there.

"Are you okay Becks?"

"I'm fine Wyatt, thank you for asking."

"Look, I've known you a long time boss. You were happy before this ass hole started killing again. What's going on?"

"Wyatt…." But somethings stopped her from spitting the reprimand she had on her tongue.

"I will be okay once this is all over and my life can return to the way I like it."

"You're worried about her aren't you?"

"…yes. I am. I thought I was falling for her, but it goes deeper then that. She's special and I don't want anything to happen to her. I promised her a while back that I'd get her home safe and sound and I'm worried I won't be able to keep her safe. They don't even have a profile on this guy yet. He's unstable and constantly changing."

"I promise to keep her safe while you're gone, you don't need to worry yourself so much. You've already got too much on you plate. Just go and keep your head focused on the new assignment."

Rebecca signed heavily and smiled. She stepped forward and hugged the marshal tightly. "Thank you Wyatt."

"No prob boss!" Wyatt smiled and retreated down the walk towards his car.

* * *

The lock turned and Jane looked up expectantly. As the door swung open, her small smile faltered as Marshal Wyatt walked in with take out.

"Don't look so disappointed Liz, otherwise I'll be tempted to eat this whole pizza myself!"

"You wouldn't!" Jane mocked.

"It's been done before! Don't tempt me!"

The two laughed as he set dinner down at the table and they served themselves.

"No word on when she'll be in?" Jane questioned as she swallowed her beer.

"She has been detained. That's all she said." Wyatt said with half a mouth full of pizza as he shrugged.

The two fell into a comfortable silence while enjoying their dinner and sports center together. As midnight neared, Wyatt excused himself to get to bed and Jane retreated to her room. She laid in bed, as she did most nights thinking about all the things she never said or did and how much she regretted not telling those closest to her how she'd felt. She drifted in and out of sleep until a door closing down stairs woke her. On guard instantly, Jane reached for her nightstand before she realized her gun wouldn't be there.

When she heard Wyatt talking and a familiar voice she slowly got out of bed. Rebeca had finally made it home. Jane slipped into her slippers and she reached for her door handle as it opened. Surprised, Jane stepped back. The Marshal was back lit by the hall light, but Jane could see something different in her stance.

"You're home…." Jane whispered, afraid she was still asleep. She had missed the marshal and was happy to see her. She stepped forward to embrace the woman.

"Jane…." Rebecca whispered her name, reverently and that's when Jane heard it. Pity. Sadness. The same sound she heard when she'd gone to tell so many families that their loved ones were dead. She stopped moving and took a step back away from the marshal.

"…. Rebecca? Look at me… What's going on?"

"Jane… I… I don't know where to begin."

"Who?"

"Jane, I'm so sorry."

"WHO?!"

"Your father and his Fiancé."

Janes eyes went wide, as her arm wrapped around her torso and her knees gave out. Becca caught her before she hit the ground and held onto the detective.

"Not pop….it can't be pop…"


	9. Chapter 8

Boston

Laryssa had been hard at work building a profile of the redemption killer all week. She knew that come the next morning, they were going to have another set of victims. The killer followed a time line. He killed couples. He never forced his way into their homes, which meant they either knew him or he scoped out his prey long enough to grant himself access to their homes undetected. She had worked quickly reading through the case files and absorbed the information in them. She knew the killer was unpredictable and seemingly random in his choosing of victims. She knew there had to be something that connected them all, but she just couldn't see it. She leaned her head into her hands and started rubbing her temples.

"You've been working too hard," Laryssa leaned back as soft hands wrapped around her shoulders and a soft kiss was pressed to her cheek. "Let's go home".

"Maura… I should stay and work on this."

"Love, you aren't going to gain anymore head way if you fall asleep because you're exhausted".

Maura grabbed her hand and lightly tugged. "Take me to dinner and let's go home!"

Laryssa smiled and closed her laptop. She quickly grabbed her jacket and purse. "Do you have your heart set on going out to dinner or do you wanna get take out?"

Maura smiled and fell into step next to her wife. "Let's get take out and just go home."

The two grabbed Thai from their favorite new spot and headed homEe. They ate picnic style on the living room floor, enjoying each others company and talking late into the night. Laryssa stifled a giggle as Maura tried to stay awake, her eyes continuously closing against her will. Laryssa kissed her forehead softly and easily scooped Maura into her arms. Maura awoke slightly surprised to find herself in Laryssa's arms. She laughed softly and grabbed Laryssa's upper arms. "Well look who's been holding out on me!" She slid her arms around her neck and kissed her passionately. Laryssa smiled into the kiss and readjusted her wife in her arms.

"What do you think I'm doing with all that time at the gym?" Laryssa winked and laughed as they got to their room. She set her down and she gave Maura a slap on the ass as she headed to change. "Let's get some sleep Doctor. We have another long day ahead of us tomorrow."

"Of course Doctor!" Maura smiled and stepped into the closet to change and get ready for bed. They climbed into bed and slipped into each others arms and fell asleep instantly.

Hours later Maura's phone rang. As she rolled over to get it, she noticed the other side of the bed was empty. She answered the phone after looking at the ID and seeing it was dispatch at BPD.

"Dr. Isles"

The dispatcher gave her an address and Maura climbed out of bed and got ready. As She stepped out of the shower, Laryssa walked out of the closet. "Did you get called in too?"

"Yes. But I was up reading through an old college book I thought of as we went to bed last night. I'm gonna head over to BCU later today and talk to an old college professor and see if he can't help find something that links these victims together."

"Well if you're finished by lunch time, let's grab some together."

"Sounds great love. I'll be back in a few," Laryssa kissed Maura and headed out the door.

Maura got ready and headed down the stairs as Laryssa walked back in with coffee and pastries. "Ready?"

"Yes. Let's go." Laryssa helped her wife into her coat and handed her her coffee and they left for the crime scene.

* * *

As they arrived at the scene they were met with the sight of FBI jackets and Korsak waving them over to a curb to park. Maura watched as Korsak sighed and stepped off the curb to open her door. She knew something was wrong. He never waited for her outside a crime scene.

"Thank you Korsak." Maura caught his eye as she stepped out of the car.

Korsak nodded and waited for Laryssa to join them before he turned and started towards the taped off crime scene. He stopped when they reached the tape and turned to Maura.

"Dr. Isles, before we go in… you should know…" Korsak paused. He knew hearing that Frank Sr. was the victim would be hard. He also knew she should know before hand in the event she couldn't perform the autopsy and they needed to call another ME in.

"What's wrong Vince?" Maura never called him by his first name outside of Sunday night dinners and he knew she was concerned. Maura stepped closer placing a encouraging hand on his forearm.

"Maura, it's Frank Sr and his fiancé."

"Oh… Oh no." Maura raised her hand to her heart and looked ahead at the crime scene looking for the only Rizzoli detective left. "Where's Frankie?"

"He's at the precinct with the Captain." Korsak knew the captain would take care of delivering the news but it was delivering the news to Angela that worried him. They had been divorced for years but Korsak knew the news would be especially hard to hear. He only wish that Jane was around to help lessen the blow, But he also worried about the effect it would have a Jane. He shook his head as he realized he once again Let his mind drift to Jane.

"Has anyone talked to Angela yet?" Maura inquired.

"No. I plan on heading over after we clear the crime scene. She's actually at the Robber right now."

"I can go with you once I get the bodies taken care of, if you'd like."

"I think that maybe exactly what Angela needs right now." Korsak knew all too well the sting of death, but he also knew this would set him back as another of his detectives would be relieved of his involvement with this case, making it all that much harder to catch this bastard.

Korsak turned to the two doctors and motioned for them to proceed past the tape. As he ducked under the tape and fell in behind them her heard his name being called. The group stopped and turned as the voice got closer.

A dark haired woman in a three piece suit, approached the tape and flipped open a badge just out of view of Maura and Laryssa standing behind the detective.

"Lieutenant Korsak. I'm Rebecca Johnson. I was in town on assignment when I heard about the Redemption killers latest victims. One of the victims correlates with an open case I've been working and just wanted to confirm for the identity of the victim."

"ID was found on both victims and the male victim has been positively identified already. Which victim was involved in a case of yours?"

"Frank Rizzoli. Who made the positive ID?"

"I did. You are more then welcome to accompany us to the body. Dr. Isles here can also positive ID him as she is close with his family and knew him."

With the mention of her name Maura stepped forward and extended her hand. The woman looked familiar to Maura, but she was having a hard time placing the face.

"Dr. Isles, it's a pleasure. I'm Marshal Rebecca Johnson."

"Marshal Johnson. Forgive me, but have we met before?" Maura knew she had seen her before and it was driving her crazy not knowing where they had met before.

"I'm sure we have. I use to be based out of Boston and I've worked with BPD on a couple cases in the past."

"I see. Oh, I'm sorry, where are my manners. Marshal Johnson, this is Doctor Laryssa White. She's the psychologist working on this case."

Laryssa shook the Agents hand and smiled. "Nice to meet you Agent Johnson."

"Doctor."

Korsak cleared his throat and motioned towards the crime scene. "Ladies, if we could."

The four walked to the bodies and Maura recognized the face turned towards her, fear etched into the face gone cold. The one consolation to this was that Jane wasn't here to witness this. Maura hated to think the fate that would await this monster if the detective had been alive. Maura worked around the body as Laryssa worked on looking around the scene and took notes. The Agent and Lieutenant stood by as Maura confirmed Frank's identity.

"It's Frank Rizzoli."

"Thank you, Doctor. If you'll excuse me, I have a late flight to catch and I'm sure I'll be in contact with you soon Lieutenant." Rebecca shook the lieutenants hand and walked to the car she left waiting for her. She climbed in, gave the name of the airport and was off into the night. This case had just complicated her life as well as the life of the woman she was protecting.

* * *

"…I'll be in as soon as I can Suzzie. Go ahead and run all panels and I'll see you when I get in. Thank you."

Maura disconnected with the senior analyst and turned to Korsak. "Okay, let's go talk to Angela."

Laryssa hugged her wife goodbye and headed off to see her old professor while Korsak and Maura headed to the Dirty Robber. Korsak called ahead and told Angela he was on his way and needed to talk to her. She'd seemed to accept the call as normality, and didn't question Korsak's midday business visit.

Maura was deep in thought looking out the window as the drove. "You okay Doc?"

"Oh, yes. I just can't shake the feeling that I've seen that marshal before. It keeps coming to the front of my kind and I'm working backwards trying to place where I've seen her before."

"It will come to you eventually, I wouldn't worry about it." Korsak gently squeezed Maura's knee in reassurance as they pulled into the dirty robber. "Are you ready?" Korsak asked as he looked at the building ominously. Days like today he didn't enjoy his job.

"No one could be ready for this."

They entered the building and 45 minutes later they exited helping a glossy red eyed Angela out and into the back seat of the squad car. They drove in relative silence to Maura's house. Angela would randomly mutter a thought out loud as it crossed her mind.

"Frankie…. Tommy…."

"It's been years since I've seen Frank…."

"At least he'll be with Janie…."

Maura felt herself involuntarily take a sharp breath at Angela's last comment. She shook her head and returned to staring out the window.

As they pulled into the drive Maura helped Angela into the house as Korsak's phone began to ring. He looked down at the incoming call from Washington and declined the call. 'If it's important, they'll leave a message, I've got more important things happening right now then having to deal with a telemarketer,' he thought as he joined the women inside.

Maura made Angela comfortable and started making tea. Angela started making phone calls and was quietly reassuring those she contacted that she was in fact, alright. She passed on the information to his sister and offered any help with funeral preparations. Angela seems to brighten slightly when Sean arrived with Frankie. Sean quickly took over care of his Fiancé. Korsak and Maura quietly excused themselves to head back to headquarters to get back to work.

* * *

Later that night, Korsak sat in the pit talking with Nina about the case when his rang again. Looking down he noticed the same Washington number calling him again. Deciding it probably wasn't a telemarketer, he answered.

"Korsak."

"Lieutenant Korsak, it's Marshal Johnson from this morning. I have someone here who would like to speak with you. I must warn you that this conversation is not to be spoken about with anyone else as it will jeopardize the safety of you both. Understood?"

"I understand." Korsak stood and quickly walked into the observation room of the first interrogation room he came to. His head was spinning with possibility as to who could be on the line. He hoped the mysterious person would shed some light on their case. They needed any and all help they could get at this point.

The phone muffled as if it were being handed off and he could hear muffled voices telling someone they had 5 minutes. He heard a sign on the other end. He paused as the sign registered as familiar.

"Hey Partner," came the thick husky voice.

"Jane?!"

* * *

 **A/N: I know Angela and Sean broke up… But I always rooted for them. This is my imaginary world…. Sorry, not sorry. :)**

 **Ps… Thanks for the reviews and follows. Love or hate** it, thanks for reading it!


	10. Chapter 9

**Somewhere in Boston**

"You idiot!" An angry fist made contact with the table making their drinks jump on the table.

"Hey! I'm not an idiot! This isn't my fault!"

"You didn't recognize the name when you started watching them?!"

"You found them! How come you didn't recognize the name!? Too busy with your "life" to notice?"

"Stop talking about my life as if it gets in the way! Without my life neither of us would have jobs. My life is how I find these assholes!"

He could tell he was only making her angry and he knew there was a point to push her to, and never past that point. He knew they were nearing that point.

"Okay…okay. It was a honest mistake. It happens. Next time I'll make sure I check the mail for names so there won't be any further mess ups. I'm sorry, okay?"

She picked up and chugged her beer, allowing herself some time to calm down. She knew she shouldn't be so angry, but sometimes she just couldn't stop herself. She didn't want to. She knew better then to get on his bad side though. She was the brains, but he was the artful mastermind who took care of the sinners.

She took a deep breath. "It's okay. We're just lucky that detective is out of the way or we would have a whole new set of problems. Lucky for us, she's dead and they have nothing to go on."

"You don't think we should lay low for awhile do you?"

"Didn't you hear me? They have nothing. No physical evidence, no leads, no profile, nothing. We don't have to stop." She smiled as she said the last sentence. They had already taken an 8 month break to let the dust settle after that detective had died.

"Well we should be careful. The son isn't going to take this well and nothing is worse then a determined cop stumbling across something small that leads him to our door step." He knew they needed to be careful. One wrong step could lead the cops to their door step and it would all be over then.

"They have nothing to tie them to us. The one thing that does tie them to us hasn't even been looked into. We are fine."

"I just don't want us to let our guard down. That is when mistakes are made and we get caught." He picked up his beer and looked at her. She smiled at him and popped opened another beer.

"We won't get caught. And if they are on our trail, I'll hear about it."

"Alright…." He was hesitant to believe her but he knew better then to question her again. "So do we have anyone new in mind?"

"I have the perfect couple actually. It's gonna be special. A first for us. Get this, the wife left her husband for a woman and now she's cheating on her new girlfriend with another woman. I want to get all three of them together. Do you think we could manage that?"

He mulled it over for a minute and hatched a plan. "I think we could work that actually. It might take some extra planning, but it's doable."

"Perfect. It will throw them a curve ball they won't be expecting."

She leaned over and clinked the neck of her beer bottle with his. "I can't wait." She grinned wickedly and downed the rest of her drink. Her time away was limited before they would notice her absence.

"I have to get going. I'll meet you at your house for dinner tomorrow to go over the info I've got."

"I'll see you at 7."

She stood and left the booth making sure their little corner was still secluded as she headed towards the door. The last thing they needed was someone over hearing their conversation. She smiled to her self as she thought, 'it would be the only way we could get caught.'

* * *

 **Washington**

"Are you insane? That is my father. To hell with your protection. I will be at that funeral!" Jane paced back and forth. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. Rebecca wanted her to sit on her hands and pretend that a serial killer hadn't just killed her father. Getting the Marshal to allow her to call Korsak and find out the status of the case was hard enough. She knew she would have to leave her protective custody if she returned home. Returning home scared her more then she could say. Maura was married, her father was dead, her family believed she was dead.

"Jane, think rationally. You can't run back, guns blazing. On top of your fathers murder you want to throw a hand grenade into the mix and return from the dead. Wait until they've caught this guy."

Jane stopped pacing and rounded on the Marshal. "They are no where near catching this guy! I could be stuck here for years. Mean while he is out there killing and who knows who could be next! How do we know he isn't targeting my family?!"

Jane was not backing down. She knew she should stay in the safety of Washington, but it wasn't an option any longer. Her family needed her. She needed to be on this case. She needed to be home. Jane had dismissed the awkward reality that it would be seeing the woman she loved married and happy. But she was going to have to return home at some point, and they had reached that point.

"You aren't even a cop anymore Jane. All your certifications have expired, your job has been filled. What makes you think you can just walk back into your old life?"

"Do not manipulate me Rebecca!"

"Jane, I will do whatever it takes to keep you safe. As much as you believe it to be your job to solve this case, it's my job to keep you safe."

"Well you've failed then. I'm leaving in two days for the funeral."

"You are as stupid as you are stubborn!" Rebecca turned and stormed out of the house. She didn't know where she was going until she hit the path that took her to the dock and the quiet lake below. She kicked rocks in her anger as she made her way to the beginning of the dock. She stopped to grab a handful of rocks and then moved down the dock. One by one she threw the rocks as far and as hard as she could. When all the rocks had been thrown, she sat quietly in one of the chairs positioned on the end of the dock. She leaned back and closed her eyes.

* * *

Jane knew she needed to apologize. She knew Rebecca was simply doing her job.

Everything in Jane fought against staying here idly while her families and friends lives fell apart. She had gone into protective custody to spare them this kind of turmoil. She had stayed up the whole night after she'd spoken to Korsak. She started a crime board on the wall of her room and she had made a list of things to do to get back to Boston and get back on the case. She knew she'd have to re-qualify to get her badge and gun back. But she could still help with the case while she waited to be reinstated.

Jane stood in the kitchen drinking a beer, waiting for Rebecca to return. Jane wanted her support. She didn't want to fight with her about this. Jane had come to see Rebecca as a friend and a confidant. She knew going home wasn't going to be easy and she needed someone on her side for the rough road ahead. Jane also knew she needed to address any idea of feelings between the two of them. She liked Rebecca but she wasn't in love with her. She enjoyed her company and she had helped Jane see things about herself that she'd never realized. Rebecca didn't let Jane's shit slide and she had no problem calling her on it. Jane knew the two had a lot in common and she didn't want to sacrifice the friendship they had built. They had a softer side to their relationship that had started with the lie of being married. Jane felt safe and comfortable close to Rebecca but in the way a best friend is comfortable. Jane finished her beer and threw it in the recycling bin. Grabbing a jacket, Jane headed out the door.

It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out where Becca had headed. Jane caught a glimpse of her outline in the chair at the end of the deck and made her way out to the marshal. Jane came around and sat in the other chair.

"Hey…."

"Hey…" Becca raised her head and gave Jane a weak smile.

"I'm sorry Rebecca. I know you are just trying to do your job. I know I'm about to complicate your job and my safety. I just can't sit around anymore. It was fun playing house for a while but I need to go home. I need them and they need me…." Jane paused and looked Rebecca in the eyes. "I need you too."

Rebecca broke their gaze. She looked down at her hands and took a moment to collect her thoughts.

"Jane… I care deeply for you. But I…I'm not… I thought…"

"Just spit it out woman!" Jane laughed nervously.

"I thought I was developing feelings for you Jane. I'm so comfortable with you and we "played house" so well together. But the last week or so I've come to realize I'm more interested in being your friend then your lover."

Jane laughed. A deep, happy laugh. "Well that's a relief. I was coming out here to essentially tell you the same thing!"

Rebecca laughed and the two women reached for the others hands. They held the others hands and smiled. This was the comfort ability they had come to expect of their relationship.

"I'm so glad Jane."

"Me too. I have one favor to ask though. I want you to come with me. You're the only friend I've got right now. I don't think my resurrection is going to go over very well and I could use the comfort you bring." Jane looked at her pleadingly.

"You're assuming I allow you to go back!" Rebecca joked as she smiled. "Of course I'll be there for you. I'll have to clear something's up at work, but I'll be there for you."

"Thank you Becca. Now let's go inside! It's freaking cold out here!"

The two returned to the house and stayed up most of the night discussing their plans on returning to Boston and Jane's plan to get reinstated. They booked their flights and hotel for their return home. They would arrive a hour before the funeral service and Jane planned on trying to get there as early as possible so as not to make an entrance.

Jane shared stories of her brothers, mother and father. She spoke of the good times and the bad and Rebecca listened contently. As dawn arrived, the women headed to bed. They needed to pack later and be ready for their early flight the next morning.

* * *

 **Boston**

Korsak avoided BPD the next day as he worried he wouldn't be able to keep the new information regarding Jane to himself. Part of him was so happy he could barely contain it. Parts of him ached for those around him who still carried the scars of her death with them. He knew Maura and Angela would be the hardest to keep this from. He also knew they would take Jane's return harder then most would think. Jane's death was the hardest for the two and her sudden return would receive mixed emotions.

Korsak's conversation with Jane had been short, but he knew her. He could hear the determination in his voice. She would be back, and soon from what he knew of her. She wouldn't miss her fathers funeral. Korsak shook his head as he headed up the sidewalk to the Robber, leave it to Jane to make an entrance.

* * *

Korsak walked behind Angela and Sean, his head constantly pivoting. Jane had yet to make an appearance and he was starting to get anxious. He had felt certain that she would make it to her fathers funeral, but the mass held at their church went by with no sign of the detective. Part of him hoped that she would have enough sense to not give her mother a heart attack at the funeral, but he knew her better.

As they reached the grave site and the family began to sit down, Korsak caught a familiar face standing at the back of the crowd. Marshal Johnson gave him the slightest nod and she turned and walked towards a car parked near by.

The service concluded at the grave site , leaving the Rizzoli's, Maura, Laryssa and Korsak standing there quietly talking. As if a magnetic force drew her mothers intuition out, Angela was the first to notice the figure's dressed in black approaching them. Angela's face went from shock to recognition to a frown as a sob erupted from her chest.

"Ma, what's wrong?" Frankie asked as he turned from his conversation with Maura and Laryssa.

He pulled his mother into a hug as the two figures drew closer.

"hey little brother."

"JANE?" Frankie exclaimed as he turned and was greeted by his sister. The sister he had mourned and buried. His sister who they all believed to be in the grave next to their father.

He turned and paused, not sure if he could touch her. Jane stepped closer and hugged her mother and then turned to Frankie and Tommy.

"Jane! What the fuck?" Tommy practically whispered, not knowing if he could believe his eyes. They embraced and then Frankie and Jane shared a hug. Angela was in hysterics as she kept reaching up and touching Jane's in an effort to reassure herself that she was in fact standing there. From over her mothers shoulder Jane caught Korsak's eye and he rushed forward to engulf her in a bear hug.

From over Korsak's shoulder Jane saw Maura for the first time. She was standing next to a woman who had her hand on the small of Maura's back. She looked to be comforting the M.E. Jane released Korsak and took a step towards Maura.

"Hey Mau…"

The sound of the M.E's hand slapping the detectives face was loud enough to silence the small group still standing next to the grave site.

"HOW DARE YOU!" Maura practically screamed. "Look! Do you see that!' Maura yelled, pointing at the head stone that bore Jane's name. "How dare you do this to me. To your mother. To all of us!" Maura stepped forward and slapped Jane again. Laryssa stepped forward and grabbed her wife as she reached back to strike Jane again.

"Maura, no." Maura turned an anguished sob towards her wife and buried her face in her hands. Laryssa ushered Maura to their car as Korsak Held Jane back from following.

"Jane, give her some time."

"I… I knew it would be tough. I just didn't expect that. I… Who was that with Maura?"

Korsak gave Jane a look of pity as he answered. "Jane, that's Maura's wife. Doctor Laryssa White."

"WIFE?"

* * *

 **A/N: Look who's back… back again…. Here's where its going to get fun! ;)**


	11. Chapter 10

"Okay… Does anyone want to explain what's been going on while I was gone?!" Jane stood there stunned, both by the stinging in her face and in her eyes. Maura was married, this she already knew. But to a woman? Something had happened, somebody was playing a trick on her. This isn't what she expected. It some how seemed to change everything and nothing, all in the same moment.

"Janie… Are you alright?" Angela stepped forward concerned for her daughter. She placed a hand on the opposite cheek and gently rubbed Her thumb back and forth.

"Ma, I know I've been gone, but what is going on? Is Maura really married to that woman?"

"Jane, you have been gone for 9 months. We all had to move on with our lives and with our hurt. Maura took your death extremely hard and the only thing that has pulled that woman out of it was Laryssa."

Jane's face scrunched up at the mention of the other woman's name. Angela caught the look and lightly patted Jane's cheek to garner her attention.

"Jane! You listen to me. That woman loved you. More then you realized. You made a choice to disappear, to leave us all. That woman Maura married is a fantastic person and an even better wife. If you care at all for Maura, you would do well to check the attitude towards her wife!"

Jane stood there, looking at her family and closest friends. They all had smiles on their faces, excited to see her and hear about her life while she was away. Their eyes however told a different story. They still held sadness, confusion, and regret. Jane knew coming back wasn't going to be easy, but deep down, she had begun to convince herself that it wouldn't be as bad as she had imagined. She was wrong, and she internally berated herself again for the pain and hurt she had caused those closest to her. As their group moved towards the cars to head to the luncheon, Rebecca fell in step with Jane. She lightly bumped her shoulder and smiled when Jane caught her eye.

"Jane, we are heading over to Ma's. You're coming right?" Tommy asked as he searched her face for any hint of a sudden departure.

"Yeah Tommy. I'll be there."

"Janie, didn't I teach you any manners! Who is your friend?" Angela's eyes had been on the Marshal for some time now and the close proximity she had been keeping to Jane.

"Sorry Ma. This is Marshal Rebecca Johnson. She has been my capture the last 9 months." Jane smiled and turned to the Marshal, "Becks, this is my mother, Angela Rizzoli."

"Pleasure to meet you," Rebecca said as they shook hands.

Angela regarded the new woman guardedly. Something in her eye said she wasn't everything she seemed and the simple fact that she was the one who had whisked Jane away was enough to garner Angela's watchful eye.

They all followed one another to Their mothers home, or what use to be Maura's home.

"oh no…," Jane groaned as they pulled up in front of the house.

"What's wrong?" Becca asked front he passenger seat. Frankie and tommy leaned forward to hear what Jane had to say before they got out.

"Here goes round two."

Her passengers questioning eyes caused her to continue with her explanation.

"This is Maura's house. No doubt she will have more to say once we get inside."

"I'm sure it'll be…" but Rebecca never finished her reassurance.

"Not that you wouldn't deserve it." Came a mumbled response from the back seat.

Jane turned around and looked at her brothers. Neither admitted to saying it and neither apologized. Frankie shook his head and reached for the door as Tommy escaped on his side. Frankie paused with one foot out the door, "Maura hasn't lived here in a while. Ma rents it from Maur & Laryssa, so you are probably safe."

Frankie retreated into the house and a odd silence was left in the air. Jane sighed and leaned forward to repeatedly hit her head against the steering wheel. "What. Was. I. Thinking?" She said each time her head came into contact with the wheel.

"Jane... It's just a shock to them. They will get over it. Just give them time."

"Ma and my brothers will, and maybe Maura will some day, but she finds violence senseless and for her to hit me… It won't be anytime soon, if ever. I should have never gotten in that car with you all those months ago."

"Jane, you can't change the past. You did what you thought was right to protect those you love."

"Becca… I appreciate everything you are saying and doing, but it won't change or make any of this right."

The two went inside and time seemed to fly by as they listened to the happenings of Boston over the last 9 months. One o'clock rolled around and Jane and Rebecca said their good byes and headed towards their hotel. Luckily tomorrow was a Saturday and they had all been instructed to take the weekend off. Sean wanted them fresh faced and ready to hit the case with everything they had come Monday morning.

Angela insisted that they come back the next day and stay with them instead of in some hotel, but Jane had to decline. The threat to her was still unknown and she wouldn't put her mother in danger. So as they each climbed into their own beds almost an hour later, Jane signed. She was glad they had opted for separate, adjoining rooms. She needed to be alone.

She shifted back and forth for the next hour unable to sleep as her brain raced every which way. Maura was married. To a woman. Jane internally berated herself for never telling Maura how she felt. But that small voice in the back of her head kept telling her that obviously Maura was into woman and she never pursued Jane or even hinted at feelings for her. Clearly Maura didn't feel the same way. Jane dissected herself for hours that night. How had she failed to remember her best friends fiancés last name? Was she so wrapped up in herself that she failed to recognize such a small detail? She knew she hadn't cared when Maura had introduced them because it had dashed Jane's hopes again, but was she so obtuse that she hadn't cared to remember? Why hadn't Maura felt the same way? They'd been friends for years and had always been closer then Jane had been with anyone. As she laid there pondering, flashes of times Jane had neglected Maura's feelings, teased her about her passions, hadn't let Maura in when the world went black and all the other times she'd not been the best of friend to her paraded across her brain. How had she really thought that they even had a possibility of a future when she'd clearly been taking her for granted all these years? Jane shook her head as she felt the pain and hurt of all the things lost and freshly discovered hit her. It was then that she cried. A soul crumbling cry that tore at the corners of her heart as she curled into a ball, letting everything out.

Hours after the tears had dried, Jane fell into a deep dreamless sleep. Her next awareness was the sun streaking across her face. Her head hurt, her eyes were swollen and light sensitive and she felt a heaviness in the very core of her. She breathed a heavy sigh and rolled over to escape the sun. She knew she needed to get up and face the consequences of her choices and deal with returning to her life, but she couldn't find the motivation to get out of bed. She closed her eyes and slept until late evening when she was awakened by the smells of garlic. 'Wait…. Garlic? Ma!'

The thought was enough to rouse her from her slumber.

"Janie! Oh good, you're awake!"

"Ma, what are you doing here?" Jane rubbed the sleep from her eyes.

"No one heard from you all day. I began to worry, but when I came by your marshal said you were sleeping so I decided to make you some dinner and come back by."

Jane looked at her mom. Tears started to form and she quickly climbed out of bed to embrace her mother. "Ma, I'm so, so sorry. I have missed you and I am so sorry I put you through all of this." She hugged her mother tighter when she felt the tears stream down her cheeks. She sighed and stepped back but kept her hands on her mothers shoulders.

"Oh Jane…" She placed a hand on her cheek and whipped a tear away. "It's okay now. All that matters is that you are back and safe."

"Ma, don't. Please don't do that. Hold me accountable. Be mad, upset, something!" Jane stepped back from her mothers reach.

"Jane, I am angry! I was devastated when we thought you had died. I carried that with me every day. The day we buried you was one of the worst in my life. But the day I looked up and saw your face was one of the best. I am still angry that you ran from your problems and that we all went through the pain of losing you. But Sean and I talked last night and he pointed out that now that you are back, none of us will take a single day with you for granted. We know what it's like to live without you, and it's not something I want to experience again in this life time. I love you Jane. Don't ever forget that."

Jane whipped at the tears on her cheek and hugged her mother again.

"Thanks Ma. I love you too."

They moved from their embrace as Jane's stomach growled.

"Well isn't it a good thing I came prepared?!"

The women laughed and they sat down at the small hotel table and ate.

"Jane, I really wish you'd come stay with us. You can stay in the guesthouse!"

"Ma, I don't know what kind of threat this guy posses and I can't put you in his line of sight. I appreciate the offer. Honestly."

"You can't stay here for months until you get back on your feet. And if he's a threat to us all, he already knows who I am and where I am. You staying closer could actually keep me safer."

Jane smiled. She knew this was a subject that eventually her mother would win no matter what.

"Okay Ma. I'll move in tomorrow. But Rebecca will have to come too."

"Okay. There is plenty of room for two. So are you two…"

"Ma! God, no. I mean for a minute it seemed like maybe but I wasn't in a place for that. We are just friends."

Angela just looked at Jane with skeptical eyes.

"Look at me all you want. There isn't anything else to tell Ma."

"Okay Janie."

Angela cleaned up after them and left for the night making Jane promise to come over as soon as she checked out tomorrow to get settled and help with Sunday dinner.

Jane climbed back into bed after her mother left and again laid there for hours just thinking.

* * *

Maura hadn't said a word as they drove home from the funeral the day before. She'd stared out the window and quietly wiped at her tears of frustration. They'd arrived home and she had gone straight to her study, closing the door.

Laryssa knew to leave her to her thoughts so she set about making dinner. Her mind raced all over from the events of today. She had never seen Maura act that way. She wondered if any of them had known she was still alive. Korsak seemed to be the only one not completely shocked by seeing Jane present at the funeral which made her wonder how many of them knew. Laryssa wonder how Maura felt not being included in the group of people who knew. She shook her head as she knew if things were reversed, she would have been as angry, if not more so. Laryssa finished dinner and put it in the oven to keep warm as she headed to the study door.

"Babe, dinner is ready." She called as she knocked softly. "Can I come in?"

"Yes."

Laryssa entered and noticed the lights were out and the blinds closed shrouding the room in darkness. She approached Maura, who's back was turned as she stood in front of her desk, leaned over, palms flat on the desk. She was breathing raggedly which meant she was either crying or catching her breath after having cried hard. She walked up behind her and wrapped her arms around her slender waist. She nuzzled her nose behind her ear and kissed her softly.

"You know I love you don't you?" Laryssa could feel Maura release some tension as she leaned back into the embrace. Maura's head laid against Laryssa's shoulder and she sighed.

"I love you too Lys."

"How are you holding up?" Laryssa asked softly as Maura turned in her arms coming face to face with her wife.

"I'm alright. I was in shock. I can't believe she's been alive this whole time. I can't believe she let us think she was dead.

We buried and mourned her. How selfish can one person be?!" Laryssa felt Maura tense up as her anger began to surface.

"I can't even imagine what you are feeling right now, but you know I'm here for you. Even if it's only to listen. You don't have to shut yourself away and try to take this all on alone."

Maura looked into Laryssa's eyes and for the first time since that morning, she smiled.

"I don't know how I got so lucky." Maura kissed her trying to convey her love for this woman who always knew just what to say to make her feel loved.

"I know exactly what you mean!" Laryssa smiled and winked at her.

Laryssa grabbed her wife's hand and led her to the kitchen where she served up dinner and the two enjoyed light conversation. After they had eaten and the dishes were taken care of they moved to the couch where Maura curled up into Laryssa's side.

"I just don't understand why she did it."

Laryssa knew what she was talking about but wanted Maura to continue letting it out. She just let Maura continue in her thoughts, sitting quietly holding her.

"She never thought of how it would affect us all. And then to just pop back up. Like nothing had happened…" Maura let her sentence trail off as she got lost in a thought.

Laryssa sat back and listened as she worked through the random thoughts as they came and went about the selfish detective who had upset everyone's lives with her disappearing/reappearing act. She knew Maura was upset. She could feel the tension radiating off of her as she laid snuggled into her side.

After a while Maura fell silent and Laryssa looked down. Maura had fallen into a peaceful sleep and Laryssa didn't have the heart to wake her. She grabbed the blanket behind them on the back of the couch and covered them up before falling asleep.

* * *

 **Across town**

His phone beeped indicating a text message.

 **The Detective is alive.**


	12. Chapter 11

**A/N: Quick clarification… Witness protection can continue for as long as deemed necessary. It's not just to hide people away. It's a protection service given on local, state and federal levels. So to the question as to why Rebecca is still around, there you go. Plus love her or hate her, she and Jane have become friends. Call it a form of Stockholm syndrome if you must, but that's the way it is. :)**

 **Again… Rizzles is endgame. I didn't say how long the game was, but we're only in the top of the 4th. ;)**

 **Thanks for all the follows, reviews and favorites! I enjoy reading each and everyone.**

* * *

Two weeks had past since Jane's surprise return. She'd sat for her tests, had her physical and was waiting for her range qualification test before she could return to active duty. Sean had given her her job back that first Sunday during dinner, provided she could re-certify. In the mean time Jane had helped her mother out with a few projects around the house and her and Rebecca had gotten moved into the guest house. Rebecca had decided to loan herself out on the case she'd been in town working on when she'd heard about Frank Sr.'s death. Jane was spending her days at the robber surrounded by fellow officers all day, so Rebecca had been satisfied that Jane was safe. She'd been busy most of the time they'd been back at the local marshals office, which kept the weird looks Angela gave them whenever they were together, at bay. Everything had been quiet since the murder of Frank and his fiancé. It set Jane on edge. She knew enough to know that serial killers could lay dormant for years and she wanted nothing more then to catch this guy. She could only hope he would get bored and resurface soon.

Jane hadn't seen Maura since the funeral and it pulled at her the few times she pulled into the station and didn't see her car parked in its designated spot. The two times she'd gotten brave enough to venture down to the morgue, Maura was no where to be found. Jane had decided to let Maura have her time to process, that eventually they would run into one another on the job and she'd be able to ask Maura to have a drink so she could explain her side of things. She felt that if Maura would hear her out, they would be able to repair their friendship. The problem was getting in the same room with Maura.

Jane shook off the guilt that once again threatened to suffocate her and hit the button to head down to the gun range. She smiled as the familiar elevator opened and she stepped inside. She wasn't alone, and she recognized the woman in the elevator, but only slightly. She leaned back against the wall and tried to place the face as the woman looked up from her file. 'Awe man… That's…'

"Jane!"

Jane straightened up and looked the other woman over.

"That's me." Jane replied smartly. The other woman recovered quickly.

"I'm afraid we haven't been properly introduced. I'm Doctor Laryssa White."

Jane gave a small nod and extended her hand. "I'm Detective Jane Rizzoli."

"Oh, so you are back then?"

"Obviously I'm back…" Jane let the sentence trail on.

"I'm sorry, I meant back at BPD." Laryssa knew the other woman knew what she meant but played along.

"Not officially, but give me an hour and I will be."

"Good for you."

Jane nodded again and leaned back against the wall crossing her arms, sizing up the doctor. The elevator dinged and Jane looked down to see they'd arrived at her floor. She paused to wonder where the Doc was going when she caught the familiar floor illuminated. Of course, she's here to see Maura.

"Nice seeing you again Jane." Laryssa called out as Jane exited the elevator. Jane was tempted to turn around and flip the woman off, but she knew she couldn't get anymore black marks in Maura's book.

Jane re-qualified with flying colors and headed back up the elevator to see the captain. As she knocked on Sean's door she caught Korsak coming into the pin.

"Jane!"

"Korsak!"

Sean opened the door then and smiled quickly before gruffly turning to Jane. "Rizzoli, get in here."

Jane winked and waved to Korsak. She felt like a kid at Christmas time. By the end of the day, her life would be her own again! She sat down as Sean sat across from her. He reached into the top drawer and pulled out a badge and a service weapon. He placed them on the desk and smiled at Jane. She looked at them waiting for him to say something before she reached for them.

"It's good to have you back kid. If you ever do that to us again, most of all to your mother, don't bother coming back. Okay?"

Jane looked at him to see if he was joking and was met with a stone cold face. She realized then that he wasn't joking. She swallowed thickly.

"Sir, you know I had no other choice that was presented at the time. I couldn't risk all their lives, again."

"I know. But if something happens to you, I'm as good as dead when your mother gets a hold of me, so you better stick around. Understood?"

"Understood."

Sean moved the badge and gun across the desk and smiled as Jane anxiously took it.

"Welcome back detective Rizzoli."

* * *

Maura struggled as she worked through her anger the first few days after Jane reappeared and she repeatedly told herself that she had now moved past anger. She knew eventually they would have to talk, but Maura was content in her ignorance. She didn't want to hear the excuses. She figured Jane had played dead for what she felt was a noble reason, but Maura was tired of Jane always running. She ran from her feelings for everyone and her problems if they interfered with the people she cared for, even though she couldn't tell them that she cared. Maura felt like stepping back into Jane's world would only cause her pain again sooner, if not later.

She'd laid awake late at night after Laryssa feel asleep and let the truth surface in the darkness where she could hide it. She had been mad when she thought she had missed an opportunity when Jane had been alive. But when she'd died and Maura had moved on, she'd done so because there was no other option. Now Jane was back. Now she was afraid that if she let go of her protection, her anger, the old feelings she had would return. She again couldn't believe the conundrum she was in.

Maura had been in one of her late night thoughts when the marshals face crossed her mind and it was then that she remembered where she'd seen her from. Maura felt a new level of betrayal as she realized that Jane had known the last time they talked that she was going to disappear. She had know she'd be leaving them all and hadn't muttered a single word. Maura hadn't slept much that night. When she awoke the next morning, she had added another layer to protect herself from the wake of USS Jane.

For the most part, life continued as it had for the last nine months. Maura remained in her cloud with Laryssa in hopes of avoiding the reality that would show up at her door any day to talk. When Laryssa came home that day and told her about her run in with Jane and that she would soon be returning full time to BPD, Maura shrugged and nodded acceptance. It looked as if her time of avoidance was dwindling rapidly.

* * *

A few days later Maura had responded to a call which took her to the dock. She'd been to preoccupied with the small fight her and Laryssa had gotten into that morning, to let her mind wander to who else would be responding to the call.

Maura approached the tape and gave her credentials. As she'd turned and started heading down the dock she caught the sound of Jane's voice behind her, giving her credentials at the edge of the crime scene as well. Maura paused a beat as she realized Jane was truly back. She hated what just hearing her voice did to her, but it was involuntary at this point. The combination of that butterfly feeling running up her back and the instant weight of anger, fear and hurt settled into her heart. She berated herself for the reflex and continued on towards the scene. She had taken a handful of steps when she sensed Jane was closing in behind her. The wind carried the subtle scent that Jane had worn for years and Maura smiled as the smell reached her. Her subconscious screamed. She could feel the hesitance in Jane's approach. She continued walking, waiting to see if Jane would approach her. She began to wonder if Jane was going to say anything when she felt the hand on her shoulder. Turning, she was greeted with Jane timidly smiling, her hands now both at her sides.

"Maur… I… Hey." Jane stammered out her hello.

Maura felt as if her world was tilting. She wanted nothing more then to demand an excuse or explanation. She knew this wasn't the time or the place and had to remember that this was probably Jane's first day back on the job. She reminded herself to keep it professional and that would be all that mattered.

"Morning Jane." Maura gave a curt nod and resumed walking.

Jane fell into step with her and put her hands in her pockets. A trait Maura had noticed Jane adapted after Hoyt as a means of hiding her hands. Maura suspected Jane was doing it now because she felt self conscious.

"Maura….I… I'd really like to talk…"

"Jane. Now is neither the time or the place."

"Well when would be good then?"

"I'm not sure right now."

"Come on Maur. It's been two weeks since I've come back and we haven't spoken once."

Maura sighed. She knew she owed it to them both to hear Jane out. "Alright Jane. We can grab some lunch later today and talk then."

"Perfect!" Jane tried not to sound too excited as she hoped this would put them back on track for repairing their friendship. "I can pick us up something and meet you in the lab if you'd like?"

"It's probably best we have the conversation we need to have, away from work, don't you think?"

Jane didn't know what it was about the sentence, but it put her on edge. Maybe this wasn't going to be as easy as she thought.

"Alright Maur." Jane smiled at her and the resumed walking in silence. When they arrived at the scene Korsak met them with a curious arch of the eye brow.

He knew the women in front of him hadn't spoken since their semi explosive reunion at the cemetery. Seeing them now, he couldn't help but hope that they were heading towards some sort of stalemate. Jane noticed his raised questioning look and replied with a small shrug and a shake of her head. She headed to speak with him as Maura went to work with the body.

Their afternoon continued in relative ease. Jane was excited to spend lunch with Maura but a part of her worried about the feeling she'd had during their earlier conversation. She just wanted them to be okay. Being back had reminded Jane of all the feelings she buried. She knew they could never be together now because Maura was married, but she told herself she'd be content with her friendship regardless. Later that afternoon as Jane and Korsak sat at their desk doing paper work when Maura walked into the pit. She made a straight line to Jane's new desk.

"Jane, Are you ready for lunch?"

"Yeah, let me grab my jacket and we can go."

* * *

They decided to grab something to go and walk over to the small city park a block away to have a little more privacy. They enjoyed their food in silence. Jane caught Maura looking at her a few times and wondered if she had spilled. After checking to make sure she was food free, she caught Maura's eye again.

"What is it? Do I have something on my face?"

"Oh no. I still find it hard to believe that you're here, alive."

Jane swallowed. This was it. Time to face the music and try and repair the damage done.

"Maura, I need you to understand something. I left 9 months ago because my life and the lives of all of you were at risk. We had and still don't have anything linking these murders. This guy is dangerous. He's unpredictable and I refuse to be the reason any of you get hurt again."

"So instead of let us POSSIBLY get hurt by the killer, you went for the ultimate hurt and let us all believe you were dead?! Jane, it makes no sense! How did you think this would affect us?!"

Maura knew she wasn't ready to talk yet as she felt herself getting upset.

"All that mattered to me was that you were safe."

"We buried you Jane. Do you have any idea what we all went through? No. Of course you don't. The worst part is then you come back and expect us all to pick up as if time hasn't changed us all. It would have been better if you had actually died."


	13. Chapter 12

Maura watched as Jane got up and walked away. She knew as soon as the words fell from her mouth that she didn't mean them the way Jane was taking them. She was ecstatic that Jane was alive, although the way she was feeling towards Jane left Maura feeling guilty and mildly ashamed. True she was angry at Jane for leaving but more then anything she was afraid. Afraid that if she let the detective back in, something could really happen to her and Maura would be faced with the pain of loss yet again. Maura thought to follow after Jane but knew they both needed to calm down. Maura collected their trash and made the slow walk back to the precinct. Jane's words rolled around her head as she walked. She knew Jane was one to sacrifice everything for those she loved and in her anger Maura had realized she had turned a blind eye to the Jane she'd known for so many years. Maura knew Jane had the best of intensions even if her execution was lacking. Maura sighed as she entered the building and entered the elevator. She knew she should search out Jane and apologize, but she also knew this was not the place to display their issues.

Maura finished early that evening and headed home. As she walked in the door to find their home still dark, Maura realized that Laryssa still wasn't home. It was then that Maura remembered their spat this morning. Laryssa had been abnormally on edge with work and her recent paper being published. Maura scolded herself for not having resolved their fight earlier in the day due to being caught up with Jane.

She poured herself a generous amount of wine and sat down in her favorite old leather chair to look out the window. Hours passed in darkness as Maura allowed her mind to wander from Jane and her apology to Laryssa. Maura scolded herself for feeling regret over her marriage. She rationalized that Jane was thought to be dead and she had done the natural thing and moved on. Maura pondered how her life had felt so full and secure only a matter of weeks ago. How Jane had somehow managed to wiggle her way back into her life, despite her constant fight to keep the raven haired detective as far as possible from her little sphere. Maura knew Jane didn't feel the same way she did. Maura also knew causing strife in her marriage now, over feelings that would never be returned, was a colossal mistake.

Maura contemplated how to continue a friendship without letting her feelings show to either Jane or Laryssa. Maura had never been able to lie and if Laryssa caught on, she wouldn't be able to lie about her feelings for the detective. She had lost herself in another thought when she heard the front door open.

"Maura? What are you doing sitting in the dark?"

"Just thinking. You're home late. Everything okay at the office?"

"Yeah. Just meeting with the other departments and then Jess wanted to grab a drink and talk about her FBI agent love interest. I was going to call you but my phone died. Sorry."

Laryssa hung up her jacket and put down her brief case as she spoke. She unbuttoned the top of her shirt and grabbed a glass to pour herself a glass of wine. She moved to join Maura in the near by chair.

"How was your day?"

"Uneventful." Maura lied. "Had a new case and that kept me busy most of the day."

"Hey… So about this morning. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have gotten angry so quickly. I know I over reacted. This case, the lack of sleep, I think it finally caught up to me."

Maura nodded her understanding but didn't say anything. She had been confused by the events of that morning but they had quickly moved from her mind once Jane had appeared at work.

"Maura?"

"Hmm?"

"Are you alright?"

"Oh yes, I seem to have had too much because I keep drifting off into scattered thought. Maybe I should have eaten before having that second glass. Have you eaten? Should I fix us something?"

"I ate with Jess. Why don't you grab something while I shower and then we can get to bed?"

"Alright."

Laryssa leaned over and kissed Maura on the forehead. "I missed you today. I hate when things are left off between us."

Maura felt guilty again. She was so wrapped up in her thoughts of Jane she was ignoring Laryssa and the fact that they hadn't spoken all day due to an argument. She felt passive aggressive about the situation which she realized was probably more transparent then she hoped. She reached up and grabbed Laryssa's collar to bring her back down for a real kiss.

"I forgive you for this morning." Maura smiled and kissed her again trying to ignore all outside thoughts. She had loved this woman whole heartedly only a few weeks ago. Just because Jane was back, it changed nothing. She needed to stop her wandering mind and focus on what was right in front of her.

"I'm suddenly not as hungry. Care for some company?"

"Always!"

* * *

Jane slowly sank to her knees from exhaustion. She ripped the boxing gloves off and threw them across the room, yelling into the empty gym.

Jane jumped when someone entered in the darkened corner. "You know, they didn't do it. You really shouldn't take it out on them."

"How did you find me?"

"I had your phone highjacked before we left Washington."

"I guess I shouldn't be completely surprised." Jane grimaced as she tried to stand.

Rebecca walked up to Jane and offered a hand. Jane reluctantly took it, stood and teetered slightly.

"Hey… I got ya. Just lean into me."

Jane complied too tired to fight anymore. She sighed as she leaned into the Marshal.

"Wanna tell me what's going on?"

"Nope."

"Jane…"

"Maura and I fought."

"I see. What about?"

"How I left her and everyone else. Oh by the way, I'm a selfish asshole, in case you didn't know."

"Jane… You are anything but. Tell me what happened."

"I… Don't know if I can."

"Why? Cause you might cry? God forbid you show some emotion woman!" Rebecca half joked as they came to the bleachers on the side of the gym.

"Becks… She said it would have been better if I'd actually died."

Becca let out a low whistle and shook her head.

"OUCH!"

"I know."

"Jane… Can I ask you something personal?"

"Do I have a choice?"

"I'll take that as a yes. When you first came to Washington and you got re-injured you combined those pain killers and alcohol, remember?"

"Yes… But I don't follow."

"I'm getting there. That night you went on and on about Maura marrying Jack. I got the feeling then, as I do every time you talk about her, that Maura meant more to you then you say or let on."

Jane narrowed her eyes at the marshal. Sure they'd talked about Jane's sexuality, but they'd never talked about how Maura fit into it all.

"I... She's… We…"

"Come on… Use your words…" Becca joked, hoping to lighten the mood.

"Shut up." Jane pushed the marshal and cracked the faintest of smiles.

"In all honesty,…yes. I've never told anyone, let alone said it out loud. I'm in love with her. I have been for years."

"Okay, so why didn't you ever tell her how you felt?"

"It doesn't matter now." Jane explained stubbornly.

"Jane! You gave up everything for her. You didn't agree to enter the program until I mentioned keeping Maura safe. I know I played on your emotions, but I knew then that she meant more to you. You've given up everything. Your freedom, your identity, your job, family, friends, your home, everything to keep her safe. She may be hurt that you lied, but for her to say that to you, it's not okay. It's demeaning all you've done for her and your family."

Jane let her words soak in. She knew the marshal was right. She knew that even if Maura meant what she said, she was mistaken. She hadn't made her decision selfishly. She'd made it because she loved Maura and her family. She knew it would be hard on them, but she never stopped to look at how it had affected her. She'd always been the one to carry the burden, to be strong. She might have been self involved a little about Maura's fiancé but it was only because she'd been so focused on having waited too long to tell Maura how she felt.

Jane turned to Becca and smiled. "You know, if this whole marshal thing doesn't work out, you should try being a motivational speaker."

"Har har. Very funny." Rebecca said as she stood and started to walk away. "Let's grab some food and head back home. I have a lot of work to do and you need a shower. You stink."

Jane stuck her tongue out at the marshal and gingerly got up and followed her to the locker room to collect her things. "You know… I wasn't joking about the motivational speaker thing…"

Becca smiled and stuck her tongue out at the detective as they headed out the door.

* * *

Two days later Jane was nose deep in a file in the elevator when the doors opened and a familiar scent wafted toward her. She peered over the top of her file and realized she was alone in the elevator with none other than Maura. Jane felt herself instantly jump into defense mode. She was still wounded by Maura's comment and she was hell bent on making her understand. However, she worried this wasn't quite the place to do so, but she wouldn't be asking the ME to lunch again anytime soon. So the elevator would have to do. She looked at Maura who looked as if she was about to speak. Jane stepped forward and pulled the emergency stop on the elevator. Maura looked at Jane as if she'd gone mad. She opened her mouth to speak but was cut off by Jane as she raised her hand to silence her.

"You had your turn Maura. Now it's mine." Jane could feel the hurt and anger boiling already right below the surface.

"I left everything to keep you safe. I changed my name, lost my job, my family, my best friend and an apartment I loved just to keep you all safe. Everyone else seems to understand except for you. I wanted to pick the phone up and call you every day. I did nothing but wonder how you all were doing. Don't you think I wanted to be here?! Don't you think I wanted to be the one to protect you and not leave it to others? You have no idea what I went through. You barely mourned me before you what? Cheated on Jack and moved on with that Doctor. And for god's sake Maur, you married her! I've seen you deliberate over shoes for longer then it took you to move on from Jack. You wished I'd died really? REALLY?! After everything, that's what you want? Not a problem. I'll transfer the first chance I get. We don't ever need to see one another again if it will help ease your conscience, because let's be honest, that's what this is about."

Maura stood there staring at Jane. She knew to expect some sort of talk with Jane about what had been said but she hadn't expected this. Maura continued to stand in stunned silence as Jane looked for any sign of a fight to her last statement. She didn't want to transfer but she knew from previous experience that it would be hard to avoid one another when they roamed the same halls and worked the same cases. Jane turned before Maura could see the hurt in her eyes. She slammed her hand against the emergency stop and the elevator resumed its activity. Maura's brain was running in over drive. She had to say something, something to let Jane know she didn't want her to leave. To let her know why she was so upset. She cleared her throat and stepped forward. Jane noticed the movement and turned to face Maura.

"Jane… I…" Maura paused to take a deep breath. She knew she needed to say it or she never would. Jane needed to understand, especially if she was leaving, again.

"Jane I was,... am in love with you. I was so hurt and upset because I never told you. Because I knew you'd never return the feelings I had, so I ran from them. Losing you broke my heart. Finding Laryssa fixed parts of it. You coming back broke everything I'd built up. I said I'd wished you were dead because you coming back has complicated my feelings for you and for Laryssa."

The elevator dinged signaling it had reached its destination. The doors silently opened when Laryssa looked up and saw Maura and Jane standing in the middle of the elevator in what looked like a heated discussion.

"Maura?"

Jane cleared her throat and excused herself. She didn't look back, and she didn't stop walking. She made for her desk and grabbed her coat. She grabbed her cell phone and walked to the door leading to the stairs. She wasn't going to risk taking the elevator again anytime soon. She hit her favorites and called Becks.

"Jane?"

"We need to talk."

"I'm heading that way soon for the meeting."

"They meeting?! Oh my god, I completely forgot. I'll meet you in the lobby."

"Everything okay?"

"I don't know…"

"I'll hurry."

* * *

"Oh my god Jane!" Rebecca let her mind run with the new information from Janes story of her run in with Maura. "That's great news! Isn't it?" Rebecca paused in her celebration for her friend when she saw Jane's face. "It's not is it?"

"Becks, she's married. This changes nothing for me."

"You didn't tell her did you?"

"No and I probably never will."

Rebecca shook her head and sighed. These women were impossible. She could see Jane's point of view but she could also see that their relationship went deeper than the one Maura currently shared with Laryssa. She was a hopeless romantic at her core and wanted nothing more than for Jane to be happy but she knew Jane lived by a code. A code she would never break.

"You really aren't going to tell her are you?"

"No."

"Jane, you should give her the chance to choose."

"She said herself that she was happy until I came back. I won't ruin another thing in her life."

"Jane, I think you're making a mistake by not telling her. Again!"

"Becks, I have lived years with being just her friend while she dated. It's no different now."

"Except you'll never get a chance!"

"I'm not telling her, end of discussion."

"Fine. Should we go? We are already late."

* * *

Rebecca and Jane entered the conference room and slipped into two chairs across from Maura and Laryssa. Rebecca looked around as she sipped the water bottle in front of her and noticed there were a few faces she didn't recognize, but one she did. She choked on her water slightly and Jane looked at her. She leaned over and whispered, "Forget how to swallow?" Jane noticed the marshal's eyes had gone wide and her face was bright red. She looked across the table in the direction the marshal kept looking and noticed she was looking at the FBI agent she'd been introduced to earlier. The FBI agent was smiling at Rebecca and Jane wondered if they perhaps knew one another. Although judging from the marshal's face she'd be willing to bet they more than knew one another. Jane smiled like the cat that swallowed the canary and turned to the marshal.

Rebecca noticed Jane's face and nodded her head forward so Jane would lean forward. "Pretty sure I went home with her the other night."

Jane laughed out loud disrupting the small conversations going on as they waited for

Cavanaugh. "Shhh!" Rebecca shushed Jane by lightly hitting her in the arm. Jane laughed at the absurdity of the situation and happened to look up and catch Maura's eye. She smiled and nodded. She needed Maura to know they were gonna be alright.

* * *

 **A/N: So I totally enjoy reading all the reviews and thoughts about where this could or couldn't be heading. Thanks for the PM's, reviews, likes and favorites. You guys Rock!**


	14. Chapter 13

**_A/N: I have to say, I love that some people get super attached/hate some characters._**

 ** _So it seems a lot of people have a hard time with Maura moving on so quickly after Jane and Jack. So I propose a bit of insight/thought. I'm not sure how many people reading have experienced loss in the form of death or missed opportunities. I often wonder if as humans we don't fully understand loss in its varying forms until we've experienced them. We often do things to try and move past that loss. Sometimes it's in the form of addiction or in finding solace in something/someone else. Grief in any measure does funny things to people. Everyone handles it differently. I've had instances where people I've known or talked with have said they would never become alcoholics or drug addicts because it's what drove wedges in their families, they have a predisposition to addiction, or so on. I've had those exact same people then become the thing they said they didn't want to be. Grief, loss, sacrifice, missed opportunities, guilt, they all affect us differently. Someone who so seemingly had a life put together with direction and purpose is now hiding things from people, making rash decisions/choices and lying. Perhaps understanding the psyche and how it differs from human to human is the easiest way to understand Maura. But there will also be a melding of the minds and resolutions soon. (A chapter or two away). Just remember that each person handles things differently._**

 ** _I don't know if that helped or made it worse… But that's where my head is while writing these characters._**

 ** _And eventually Jane will tell Maura. Eventually. The girls have some things to work through first._**

 ** _Enjoy!_**

* * *

Jane's mood had improved exponentially by the time she headed to the robber later that night to meet her brother and Korsak. Rebecca had bailed on her when the FBI agent had invited her out. Jane smiled and shook her head. She knew she needed to have another talk with Maura and she knew it needed to happen sooner rather then later. Jane paused outside the Robber and pulled out her phone.

 **Can we grab dinner tomorrow so we can talk? -Jane**

She hit send and walked into the robber. She was excited to see her mother smile and wave at her from behind the counter as she made her way towards her.

"Hey Ma!"

"Hi Janie. How was your day?"

"It was good. Ma can I ask you something?"

"Anything."

"Ma, are we okay? I know you were upset about my choice to leave, but we are alright now, right? You understand why I had to don't you?"

"I didn't. Even after you came home. I don't have the mind of a police officer, But Sean does. And you two are extremely alike in your sense of duty and family. He's helped me understand. So while I didn't understand, I do now. Why Jane?"

"It doesn't matter Ma. I just want to make sure we are all okay now."

"Janie, I'm your mother. We will always be okay. I love you."

Jane smiled and glanced around. She couldn't help feeling a tad embarrassed about their conversation in such a public space. "I love you too Ma."

Angela smiled and handed her eldest a beer. "Now go see the boys. They've been waiting for you."

Jane lifted her beer in thanks and walked towards the only men in her life. Tommy had joined them and the group gave a collective "Jane!" when Jane walked up.

"Jane!" Tommy stood and gave his sister a big hug.

"Hey little brother. How are you?"

"I'm good sis. Really good. You?"

"I'm great. You look awfully dressed up for drinks at the robber brother."

"It's my job. I'm a chauffeur. The suit comes with the job."

"Good for you Tommy!"

Jane sat down next to Korsak across from Her brothers. They all fell into easy conversation and enjoyed their evening together. At one am neared, they said their good byes and each went their own ways. Jane caught a ride with her mother and they fell into a comfortable conversation along the way. Jane had always tried to keep her nosey mother at an arms length but her time away had made her realize her errors when it came to her family. She loved them and did so in her own way. She realized one night while listening to the rain that she needed to show them that she loved them. She'd sworn she'd change if she'd gotten the chance. Now with her father dead and him never hearing how she'd felt, she wouldn't waist another day hiding from her family. They deserved as much of her as she expected of them.

They arrived at the house and made their way in, pausing to say their good nights. As Jane entered the guest house she wondered if Rebecca had returned, but nearing her room she found the door opened and the room empty. Jane quietly showered and climbed into bed. She leaned over to plug her phone in when she noticed the new message waiting for her.

 **I'm off but on call tomorrow. Meet you in the lobby after your shift? –M**

 **I'll text you what time when I get in tomorrow. –J**

Jane turned her phone over and laid back. She stared at the ceiling wondering how their conversation would go the next night. She reprimand herself over never having told Maura how she'd felt, especially since she now knew how the ME had felt all along. She shook her head and laid there staring at the ceiling thinking how she'd always feared she would wait too long to tell Maura, and here she had. She wondered what their lives would have been like had she said something years ago instead of waiting and being afraid. She sighed as she turned over, 'I guess we'll never know now' she thought as she fell into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

Maura had been short with everyone that day after her run in with Jane. Laryssa had asked her to lunch before heading back to her office to see a few patients and she had snapped that she had work to get done. Instead of going to lunch with her wife, Maura sat in her dark office and rehashed her conversation with Jane. It had never been clearer to Maura that Jane didn't feel the same way as she did. 'What was I expecting?' Maura questioned herself. What had she hoped to accomplish by confessing to Jane about her feelings? Maura felt a deep hurt, One of rejection and concussion. She'd cried tears of frustration as she sat there in the dark. Everything was slipping through her fingers. Why did her world feel as if it were falling in around her?

Her phone buzzed and through blurry eyes she read the message.

 **Babe, I'm not sure what's going on, but something has changed. I can't help but notice it had coincided with the return of Jane. Please, don't shut me out. I'm here if you need me. I love you.**

 **Ps... I have lunch being delivered. Don't get so busy you forget to eat love**

Maura turned the offending phone upside down. Here she sat with a loving wife, concerned and thoughtful of her and all she could focus on was Jane. She knew it was wrong, that she needed to move past it. She needed to let the past stay in the past. She felt immense guilt over not having told Laryssa about Jane and her feelings for her. She felt even guiltier about the fact that she still had feelings for the detective. She knew she needed to talk to Laryssa and explain her behavior over the last few weeks. Their six month anniversary was in a few days and she knew she needed to make it special. She'd been distracted and aloof. She needed to stop looking at what she didn't have and instead value what she did.

She stood, a new resolve coursing through her. Jane hadn't felt the same way. She'd ran from Maura the minute she'd told her how she felt. She had Laryssa, who loved and adored her. She knew where her head needed to be regardless of where her heart lay.

She worked in the morgue setting up for the autopsy she need to perform and had almost forgotten about her lunch delivery completely until Jess tapped on the morgue window. Maura smiled and waved her in.

"Jess! How lovely to see you!" Maura hugged her sister in law in greeting.

"Maura! Hi! How are you? Oh, I brought you lunch! Laryssa was worried you'd forget to eat with your busy schedule."

"You two are too sweet. You didn't need to bring it all the way down here!" And then an idea hit her. "Or did you come all this way just to see a special someone." Maura tried teasing the younger girl.

"Ha ha that ended before it began. We actually make pretty good friends though." Jess stated shrugging her shoulders as if to say oh well. "I actually wanted to bring you food so I could get away for a while. The office has been a little cramped lately and I welcomed the reason to escape."

Maura smiled. Something about what Jess had just said struck Maura as odd. It left a small nagging feeling in the back of her mind and she decided to investigate the thought after Jess had left.

"What's going on at the office?"

"Oh just the usual. Someone's demanding their name on the side of the building, someone wants more pay, Jacob wants a bigger office. That kind of stuff. I figured Laryssa would have told you all about it."

Maura raised an eyebrow. She knew Laryssa had been stressed with work but she had been so self involved that she hadn't stopped to ask or to even care. "Jake wants a bigger office? Isn't his as big as Laryssa's?"

"Yes, but he's the oldest and he has a size issue. If you ask me, it has to do with his penis or something. He's always trying to get everything bigger and better." Jess rolls her eyes as only a little sister could and Maura laughs at the families antics.

The women enjoy talking for the next half hour, swapping stories about the siblings and about their antics as children always trying to one up each other while Jess played the instigator pitting them against one another. Maura had heard some of the stories but some were new to her. She always enjoyed hearing about the fun that surrounded their childhood.

As Jess turned to go Maura hugged the young girl and paused to ask her a favor. "Jess, do you by chance know any good therapists, out side of your offices, that you could recommend? I know Laryssa said you worked for a few before coming to work for her."

"I do. But you know Laryssa would know them best. Why?"

"With everything that's been going on, I feel it might be useful to speak to someone who is on the outside."

Jess smile and nodded. "I totally get that. Laryssa doesn't even know I see someone. So I understand completely. I'll text you some names later today when I get back to the office."

"Thank you Jess."

"No problem Maur! See you soon!"

With that Maura's day took a turn in the right direction. She finished her autopsy and submitted the extra screenings needed as she headed out the door, earlier then normal that night. She planned on getting home before Laryssa and making her a nice meal. It's been weeks since they last sat down to dinner together.

Later that evening as the women sat on the couch enjoying their glasses of wine Laryssa turned to Maura and smiled.

"Thank you so much for dinner. It was fantastic! You never cease to amazing me."

Maura smiled. She felt happy in the moment and wanted to hold on to it. They fell into easy conversation and Maura let Jane slip from her mind as they spoke of work and events coming up. The pinging of a text message interrupted their conversation as Maura reached for the phone to silence it. When she noticed a new number had texted her, curiosity got the best of her.

Can we grab dinner tomorrow so we can talk? –Jane

Maura stared at the text. She wondered what there was more to discuss and felt dread at the fact that it probably had to do with her confession.

"Maura?"

"I'm sorry. What did you say?"

"Everything okay?"

"Yes. Just work."

"Maura…"

Maura sighed. She knew Laryssa picked up on the lie. She knew she needed to tell Laryssa but didn't know how to even approach the subject.

"Does this have to do with Jane coming back?"

Maura should have known the psychologist would pick up on it. She was trained to notice these kinds of things, But how was she suppose to tell her? So instead, she simply nodded.

"Okay… That's a start at least." Laryssa tested the waters and reached for Maura's hand. She allowed her to hold it but Laryssa could feel the tension radiating off of Maura. "Maura, talk to me. Nothing can be as bad as I'm imagining. Just tell me what is going on."

"I… I don't want to hurt you in any way. I feel like no matter what I say, I'm going to."

Laryssa did not like the sound of that. She worried what could have possible happened between the two or if perhaps her assumption almost a year ago about the ME and detective had been right. She gently squoze Maura's hand. "It's better to tell me then to hold on to it. Nothing good will come from you sitting on this and letting it fester below the surface. What's going on with you and Jane?"

"Nothing. Nothing is going on with Jane and I. Which seems to be my issue." Maura paused when she saw her wife taken back a bit by her statement. Maura hurried on to explain. "I was in love with Jane for many years. I never told her. I was afraid of rejection and ridicule. Most of all I was afraid of losing her. Then I lost her and everything changed for me. I knew I never wanted to take things for granted or miss out on opportunities again. Then you and I bumped into one another and I jumped in. No holding back and playing it safe. I was…am happy with you. I love you. We were happy. Then Jane came back and all those old emotions came rushing back. I'm angry and confused by it all. She and I have spoken twice since the funeral and both times have been semi explosive and I… I told her how I felt about her. She doesn't return the feeling. As a matter of fact she practically ran when I told her how I felt. I'm… I...I don't know how to feel. Or what to think. I don't know who to talk to about it and I know it's hurting you hearing about this. I'm so sorry."

Laryssa looked at Maura. Her grief and pain etched on her face. Parts of her were irrational and upset. The other parts of her understood Maura and understood her plight. Maura was staring at her waiting for a response of some kind but she was struggling with the right words.

"So was that Jane that texted you?"

"Yes. She wants to talk tomorrow."

"I see. Are you going to go?"

"I am. But I fail to see what more there is to discuss."

"So you don't want anything to do with her if she doesn't return your feelings?"

"No… That's not what I meant. I…" Maura paused. What did she mean? Could she possibly be writing off years of friendship simply because she was hurt that Jane didn't reciprocate her feelings?

"Maura, I know you love me. I also know we jumped into this rather quickly. I understand that you have unresolved things with Jane. The worse thing you could possibly do right now though is stop talking. If you find that you can't talk to me, let's find you someone you can talk to. Let's make sure you're not hiding things and not burying your feelings. Yes, it hurts to hear you say you're in love with someone else, but I'd be a liar if I said I didn't understand it, to a degree."

Maura let the tears she'd been holding back fall. She knew she didn't deserve this level of understanding. She knew she was hurting the woman she'd planned on spending her life with. And for what? All because Jane walked back into her life and they ended up right where Maura had always feared they would be. On the outs because of her confession. Maura knew she couldn't change the way Jane felt, but she could change the way she felt and thought. She knew she could stop hurting Laryssa and be happy.

"Lysa, I… I'm so sorry. I know I should have said something months ago. But I honestly thought it was behind me. She was gone, we were happy. Now she's back and I feel as if I'm adrift. My emotions are running rampant and I need a sounding board. I think I'll be seeing someone in the next day or so to help with some of these emotions I'm experiencing."

"Maura, do whatever is necessary to figure out what it is that you need. I'm here for you. No matter what. Just please, don't keep me in the dark about what's going on. That will only serve to drive a wedge between us more."

"I don't deserve you." Maura whispered. Laryssa leaned forward and pulled Maura into a hug. She couldn't imagine the emotional roller coaster the other woman was experiencing, but she knew she could be there for her while she rode it out.

"I… I'm confused as to where we should go from here Maur. Do you want me to sleep in another room? How are you feeling about us in all of this?"

"No. The last thing I want is for you to pull away from me. I know it's what you'll want to do, but please don't. I don't want us to fall apart just because I'm having a hard time letting go of some old feelings."

"Maur, they aren't that old. It's only been almost a year. Give it time. But I'll be right here for you. You let me know what you're thinking and feeling. Just don't stop taking to me. Okay?"

"I won't. I promise."

* * *

 ** _Across town_**

The phone on the bar vibrated as its owner enjoyed his drink.

 **Get our guy to follow the ME and the detective.**

He re-read the message twice wondering why the ME had been thrown into the mix, but he knew better then to question her. He typed his response and hit send.

 **Done**

He then scrolled through his contacts and found the name he'd been looking for. He shot off a email with the details and placed his phone into his pocket and returned to his drink.


	15. Chapter 14

**So… No excuse is great, but mine is damn good. My days consist of 6 hours of school(everyday), then a full time job, homework, sleep (when I get it) a new wife and fur baby to tend to. So after my 15-17 hour days, sleep or homework or spouse is my priority. Bright side? I finish school in about 5 weeks. (insert happy dance here) So, I'll post as much as I can, but I'll be back at it, seriously back to it mid Dec. Thanks for all your messages of encouragement, concern and thoughtfulness. All is GREATin my little sphere… Unless you count the finals and internships, then it's so-so. ;)**

 **Again, thank you for the reviews, likes, favs, etc! You guys rock!**

* * *

Jane woke the next day feeling like things were finally falling back into place. After her night out with her brothers, their severed bond had been mended, as well as her relationship with her mother. Jane had received a text half way through the evening from Rebecca asking if she and the FBI agent could join them. The group had welcomed the women with open arms and they had spent hours recounting war stories as well as Rebecca's recent war stories tending for the wounded Jane while protecting her. Jane had smiled and sat back enjoy the scene before her. The only thing missing was Maura and her witty anecdotes about off the wall topics.

Jane had realized then that she had let her chances with the ME pass when she ran off without saying anything. She knew she'd taken the easy way out and that she would pay for it every day she saw the ME and her wife together. Jane had decided in that moment she wouldn't destroy a marriage with her selfish wants. She would be Maura's best friend and that was it. She knew she'd move on eventually, but for now, she'd allow her self to dwell in the possibility of Maura's confession.

'Day dreaming couldn't hurt, right?' She smiled as she told herself they were allowed and returned to the present. She was learning to live presently, an adjustment for her and her instinct to always look to tomorrow instead of savoring the day she'd been given.

* * *

Maura awoke to an empty bed. She knew to expect it after her late night confession, but she felt the sting none the less. She knew she'd sacrificed her current happiness on a pipe dream of having the unobtainable. She knew she needed to make things right, but she was at a loss for where to begin.

Maura had decided earlier that morning that she would see Jane that evening. She would tell Jane she was wrong for confessing such a thing when she was married and she would like to rebuild their friendship. She knew she had to move on, to forget the past. She'd waited too long to tell Jane how she'd felt and she'd made her decision with Laryssa. She couldn't allow Laryssa to feel second choice, even if she was. Maura had made a commitment. She needed to stand by her vows and recognize her promise.

Maura slid off the bed, stepped out of her clothes and into the shower. She let the hot water release the tension she was holding between her shoulders. She practiced deep breathing and let the night before slowly slip down the drain. She was going to start today anew, fresh, clean. She had her best friend back and she had a woman who adored her. She shook her head when the thought of the possibility that Jane could fit both the labels, she couldn't think like that anymore.

Maura dressed quickly and headed out to her car. She took a deep breath and headed to Laryssa's favorite bakery. Today was the first day of Maura's plan of showing Laryssa how she felt. She grabbed the bear claws and headed over to Laryssa's office. She was surprised when she pulled into the garage to not see Laryssa's car. She pulled out her phone and hit the speed dial.

"Hey sleepy head!"

Maura paused, Laryssa sounded like she was smiling as she answered. "Hi Lys. What are you up to this morning? I stopped by the office but you're not here…" Maura could distinctly hear laughter in the back ground. A woman's laughter. Something about it sounded familiar.

"I'm down at BPD going over everything with the new addition to the team."

Jane. She was with Jane. After everything that had happened last night, she was spending her morning, laughing no less, with Jane.

"Maura?"

"Yes, sorry. Well I'd like to come bring you breakfast if you have a minute."

Maura could hear Laryssa turn as the phone muffled slightly, "Jane! Maura's bringing breakfast! Hope your ready for the best bear claws you've ever had!"

Maura could hear a muffled response that caused Laryssa to chuckle as she returned to the phone call.

"I can't wait! See you soon babe."

Maura felt slightly uneasy as the line went dead. Parts of her rational brain were telling her it was a great thing that the two seemed to be getting along, but that part in the back of your brain that causes doubt told her to be worried. Jealousy wasn't something they had experienced in their marriage thus far. She knew it to be ugly and with their situation already on thin ice, she worried about the tipping point.

The drive across town seemed to fly by as her mind raced with scenarios. She reached the precinct, she decided they wouldn't be laughing if the two weren't enjoying one another company, a thought that also frightened her. The reasons, ones she wouldn't admit aloud, caused her to pause and take a deep breath. She wasn't thinking that way any longer.

Maura climbed into the elevator and hit the button for the 11th floor conference room they were using for their base of operations.

As the doors started to close a hand reached out and stopped the doors.

"Hey Maur!" Jane beamed.

"Jane… Hi. How are you this morning?"

"I'm good. What about you? Those smell good!" Jane eyed the pink box in Maura's hands.

"I'm good, thank you." Maura smiled at Jane. This was comfortable. She was okay. "They are still warm. I hope your ready for some amazing bear claws."

"Like I told your wife, we will see about that. There was a small bakery I use to stop at in Washington on the way to work, they were the best I've ever had. We shall see how they compare."

Maura laughed. Then something Jane said struck a cord with her. Jane's life had continued in Washington and Maura knew nothing about it. She realized then that she wanted to hear about the detectives time away. How had she not thought about Jane's life and what it had been like for the last 9 months? They had missed out on so much. 'So so much.' Maura frowned, she needed to do better at controlling where her thoughts landed.

"How does our Boston coffee stack up against what some argue is the the best coffee in the US?" Maura questioned smiling as she noticed the three cups in the carrier Jane was holding.

Jane laughed. "Nothing tasted quite as good as coffee from home." Jane sincerely stated as she met Maura's eyes in a genuine smile.

Maura smiled back as the doors slid open at their destination.

"Jane, I think I may… Hi babe!" Laryssa smiled as she noticed the addition to the group. She came over and smiled as she hugged Maura. She gave her a quick peck and left an arm around her waist as they moved into the conference room. Jane smiled weakly at the two, set down the coffees and then excused herself to make a phone call.

Maura turned to Laryssa and noticed Laryssa smiling as she watched the detective leave. Maura arched an eyebrow in question as Laryssa looked at her.

Laryssa laughed and pulled Maura into her.

"I can see how you could have fallen for her Maura."

Maura stood there searching Laryssa's eyes and the smiled when she saw the corner of her wife's mouth twitch upwards. "Shame she isn't gay." Maura joked.

"I don't know, I'm glad she's straight. You might have had some competition." Laryssa smiled and winked at her wife. They laughed together and the slight tension Maura still carried, ebbed. Maura found her self in a warm embrace as Laryssa nuzzled her neck. "I love you. I know this is tough for you, but I understand it more now that I've spent some time with her. She cares for you, deeply. It was made painfully clear to me as she gave me the 'talk'." Laryssa laughed and pulled away from Maura, searching her eyes.

"Are we… Are we alright?" Maura asked tentatively.

"We will be." Laryssa smiled and pecked Maura.

* * *

Jane had found any excuse to leave. She knew it would be rough seeing the two of them together but she hadn't expected to actually like Maura's wife. There was something genuine about the Psychologist that Jane liked. She felt a kinship with the woman as they talked about Maura and their families. Laryssa was a born and bred Bostonian and she and Jane had bonded over their shared love of the sox and pats. Jane had gone into it expecting not to like her, so much as she assumed she wouldn't due to her feelings for Maura. Despite her feelings, she realized she'd fallen under the Doctors good graces and she was alright with it. However, seeing them be affectionate when Jane knew it could have been her receiving the surprise visit from Maura, stung. She'd excused herself to call the one person who seemed to be becoming her closest confidant, Rebecca.

After Becca agreed to come save her from her awkward encounter, Jane rejoined the group and they enjoyed their bear claws and coffee in comfortable conversation. A few hours later, Becca arrived with pizza and Maura and Laryssa brought the two of them up to date.

Mid afternoon Maura excused herself and headed out to run a few errands. Maura had cemented plans with Jane for that evening and Laryssa had texted her that she would be at the office until late, to have fun and that they would talk when she got home.

* * *

Jane had been standing in the lobby for the last 20 minutes wondering if perhaps she had been stood up when Maura came rushing through the front doors. She had a smile on her face and her cheeks were pink from the chill outside.

"Hey! Sorry, it took longer to get back then I expected."

"No problem. Ready?"

"Yes. Where would you like to go?"

"I was thinking we could try this new place that opened around the corner. It's a Thai place I thought you'd like."

"Do you mean The Mint?"

"I should have guessed you'd been there already." Jane smiled as they stepped outside and headed towards Maura's car.

They drove in silence, a light tension filling the car. Once they arrived and were seated, Jane chuckled and smiled as she looked at Maura.

"So… How have you been?"

Maura laughed lightly and relaxed as her wine was poured and she took a sip, signaling the waiter to leave the bottle.

"So much has changed. But I'm good. How are you?"

Jane smiled and she flipped her hair playfully as she leaned forward. "So I heard you got married girl. Spill it, what's she like?" Jane laughed before she could finish and Maura realized how much she'd missed that sound. She smiled and took another sip of her wine.

The two sat back and fell into conversation until they looked around realizing they were completely alone in the restaurant.

"I've missed this." Jane smiled as she stood and walked towards the coat check. They stood close together as Jane looked down into Maura's eyes as the waited for their coats. Jane felt the recognizable pull to lean down and kiss Maura. She caught the scent so distinctly Maura that she felt her heart speed up.

"I've missed you Jane."

Jane's back stiffened slightly and she stepped back from Maura's personal space. While the move was minimal, Maura could feel the absence of Janes body heat and recognized the rigid posture. Maura wondered if she felt uncomfortable after her confession in the elevator. She slipped into her jacket and they retreated to her car. She started the car but didn't put it into gear. She turned in her seat and looked at Jane, waiting for the detective to meet her gaze.

"Jane…"

"Maur… I..."

"Jane, I'm sorry f I made you uncomfortable with my confession in the elevator. I shouldn't have said anything, especially since you are straight and I am married. It was a long time ago."

"It hasn't been that long Maur. I… I can understand it may be hard for you to get over. I am sorry I left the way I did. I'm sorry I caused you pain. That was not my intention. I was trying to protect you all…" Jane let her sentence trail off. She looked town at her scared hands and slightly shook her head.

"What's wrong Jane?"

"It's just… I left to protect those I loved, but I still couldn't even do that. My leaving was for nothing. I hurt you all and pop still ended up dead." Jane felt her eyes gloss over but years of training made sure her tears wouldn't spill over.

"Jane, you had no way of knowing he would go after your father. You didn't fail him."

"If I'd have stayed, maybe I could have saved him."

"We can't live our lives on maybe's, Jane."

Jane looked up at Maura and she couldn't help but feel a double meaning in Maura's words.

"I guess we can't, can we?"

"No, we can't."

With that Maura drove them back to her Beacon Hill home. The silence that filled the car was contemplative as they both looked out the window residing themselves to live without the other.

As they pulled into the drive, Maura put the car in park and turned to Jane. Jane smiled and placed her hand on the ME's forearm.

"I've missed you too Maur."

They hugged each other and Jane retreated to the guest house as Maura pointed her car in the direction of home. As Maura turned into her and Laryssa's drive, she got a text from Jane.

 **I had a great time. Lets not wait almost another year before we do it again.**

Maura smiled and knew things were headed back to where they should be.

* * *

Maura and Jane had been so involved with each other that they had failed to notice the dark sedan that had followed them to the restaurant and then snapped their picture as they sat in the car, Windows fogged from the cold. They didn't notice as it tailed them to Jane's and then back to his original starting point, Maura and Laryssa's. He stopped out front of their home and waited for the lights to turn on before hitting send on the text he'd just compiled.

 **She's home.**

* * *

Across town a phone chimes with a new message. After opening the message she smiles, and turns to the woman tied up in front of her.

"I wish you'd have stopped digging Laryssa."

Laryssa looked up, the crusted blood on her face pulled on her skin where it'd dried, as she met the hate filled eyes.

* * *

Jane looked over as she heard her phone go off for the second time.

"Hang on Becca, I should check who that is."

Jane reached her phone and noticed Maura's name on the screen.

"Maura?" Jane answered.

"Jane… Jane, I think Laryssa is missing."


	16. Chapter 15

**So lucky I had some extra time with the holidays fast approaching. Here's another update!**

 **And a special Thanks to J for being my own little editor and making sure what comes out of my brain makes sense to everyone else. ;)**

* * *

"Grab your jacket, we have to go," Jane said as she rushed out of the marshals room and into her own. She grabbed her keys, badge and gun as she headed into the living room. Rebecca looked up as she zipped her jacket up.

"What's going on Jane?"

"I'll explain in the car," Jane said as she clipped her gun into place, grabbed her jacket and exited the guest house. Rebecca grabbed her keys and ran after the detective.

As the two raced across town, Jane called Korsak and told him what was going on. He promised to meet them at Maura's and disconnected.

"Jane, are you sure this isn't a domestic thing? Have they fought recently? We have to look at this from an objective point of view."

"I know. But they were fine this afternoon, you saw them. I doubt that it's due to that, but we will ask."

They arrived as Korsak pulled in and the three arrived on Maura's door step to find a distraught Maura waiting for them.

"The door wasn't locked when I got home which was the first clue. We always lock it, even if we are home. There was a break in 6 months back and we've been very careful since then. The alarm was disabled as well, which means Laryssa had to have come home." Maura paused and looked at Jane. She wanted to be held, comforted by her, but the fact that she was seeking comfort from Jane about her wife, kept her rooted to her spot. "I walked in, saw the over turned table and blood then called you. I've been waiting out here since."

Jane reached into her back pocket and pulled out some gloves and entered the home with Korsak close behind. Jane's hand rested on her side arm as she entered and turned to ask Maura to stay at the front door with the marshal as they made sure the house was clear. They quickly cleared the three floors and returned to the living room.

"There's no sign of forced entry." Jane observed as she went back to the door and waved Maura and Becca in.

"There isn't enough blood here to suggest she was severely injured." Korsak observed. He slowly walked the rest of the floor looking for blood. "And there isn't a trail."

"Something isn't right though. I called her office and it went to the machine. Her cell is off. I tried Jess and she said they'd gone out for a couple of drinks after leaving the office but that they had each headed their own way around eleven. I got home at almost one, so there is a two hour gap in between when Jess last saw her to when I got home."

"Maura, it's gonna be alright. We will figure this out. In the meantime, has anyone contacted you? Have you looked through the the house for a note?"

"I told you Jane, I didn't go past the living room." Maura was on edge, something Jane didn't see from the ME often. Jane wondered about Rebecca's thought earlier and decided she needed to question Maura about a few things.

"Why don't we make a quick sweep of the house and see if anything is out of place or has been left behind, okay?"

Maura nodded and they moved through the house. Nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary as the women returned to the living room. Korsak made eye contact with Jane and nodded.

"Maura, we need to call this in if you suspect foul play, But before we do, I just have a couple questions." Maura nodded and Jane continued. "Have there been any threats to either one of you recently?"

"She will have the occasional patient who gets a little out of hand but she hasn't had a threat in years. And I haven't had any either."

"Alright, what about any domestic issues? Have you two fought recently? Could she be sleeping off an argument somewhere else?"

"We…" Maura let it hang in the air for a minute. She didn't want to have this conversation in front of everyone. She was already dealing with the complicated emotions and didn't need anyone else knowing.

"Maura?"

"We haven't been fighting, no. But we did have a conversation yesterday, well the day before last, about what I told you in the elevator." Maura was looking anywhere but at the detective.

"How did she seem to take it Maura?"

"As well as can be expected. Everything seemed to be fine yesterday and we planned on continuing the conversation when I came home tonight."

"Dr. Isles, does Laryssa drink?" Korsak asked from across the room. His head turned looking at the kitchen counter.

"She'll have a glass or two after a long day, why?" Maura followed his line of sight and noticed the bottle of bourbon and tumbler on the counter.

"Alright, I'm calling it in. We don't have much to go on as there hasn't been any threats to follow up on or any ransom notes to be found. Maura why don't you head out with Rebecca and stay with my mother. Korsak and I will head down to the station and CSU will come dust for finger prints and take a blood sample. Okay?"

"Alright…" Maura looked hesitant to go but knew Jane was right. She allowed Rebecca to lead her out the door and into Jane's cruiser. Their drive was quiet and as they neared the place Maura once called home, the Doctor turned to Rebecca.

"I really don't want to wake Angela and Sean. Would you mind if I just stayed on the couch in the guest house instead? I'd like to wait for Jane anyway."

"Of course Doc." Rebecca smiled softly at Maura.

As they came around the house and entered the guest house Rebecca asked, "would you like some tea or coffee?"

"Tea would be perfect, thank you."

"I bet you could raid a drawer or two in Jane's room to find something more comfortable while I make us some tea."

"I… Probably shouldn't. It seems a bit of an invasion don't you think?"

"Well I've got some new sweats I picked up this afternoon you're welcome to, and there is a load of T-shirts in the dryer that are fresh if you want to get out of those clothes."

Maura hesitated for a split second before nodding. "Thank you. That would be nice." The Marshal disappeared as Maura went into the wash room to retrieve a shirt. She pulled out a grey shirt as Rebecca reappeared with the sweats. "I'm going to make some popcorn to go with our tea, would you like some?"

"Yes please. I'm going to go change and wash up. I'll be right back."

"No rush."

Maura entered the bathroom and slowly changed. Who would take Laryssa? Why? Had she left Maura after their conversation? Things had felt alright this afternoon and Maura had held on to the hope that everything would work itself out. She sighed heavily and decided she'd been standing there too long, starring into the mirror, searching for answers she couldn't find in her reflection. As she pulled the t-shirt over her head she noticed the shirt had an ironed on picture on the front. All thought left her as she stared at Jane's beaming face stared back at her, next to that of the Marshals. She was confused by the shirt and felt anxious about stepping out wearing it, but she had one question racing on her mind.

Maura entered the kitchen and found Rebecca pouring the popcorn into a large bowl. "Hope you don't mind…" Rebecca pause as she looked up to see the shirt Maura was wearing. She smiled and almost laughed out loud at the ME's choice in shirts.

The shirt was from one of Jane's functions at the Library where she had taught a group of summer classes to kids on how to make these T-shirts. One of the children had made them each a shirt as a gift shortly afterwards and they had worn them proudly. Rebecca knew that the life they'd lived for almost the last year had been a lie, but their smiles in that picture had be genuine. They had taken the summer kids group out and had a massive water balloon fight and Jane had been playing dirty, training her team to surround Rebecca's group and attack. Becca had gone to tackle Jane but slipped on the wet grass. They'd ended up a tangled mess in the grass when the picture had been snapped, capturing their wet haired, grass stained happiness.

"You both look so happy."Maura stated.

"It was a good day, the day that picture was taken." Rebecca replied watching the ME's face closely.

"Jane told me about her… Your... The two of you's cover while in Washington."

"Doc, is there something you want to ask?"

Maura paused, was she jealous? And of what? Did her mind secretly hope something more had happened between the two women in a bid to prove she hadn't been wrong about the feelings she'd had for Jane? Would it matter if something more had happened?

"I... You two just seem to be very close."

"Well we did spend almost 9 months pretending to be married. Getting close was an inevitability."

Maura searched the marshals eyes for a double meaning to her statement. The marshal smiled, almost smugly as she seemed to read Maura's intent in her line of questioning.

"We didn't sleep together if that's what you're asking. Not saying I didn't want it at first… But we became friends. Too good of friends to ever cross that boundary."

Maura smiled and nodded as she grabbed her tea and headed towards the living room. Becca followed with the popcorn and sat down placing the popcorn between the two of them. They sat in silence as Maura worked her lip in deep thought.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

"I'm just… It's been a rough month with Jane coming back and dealing with some of the… past that it brings back. She's back and now Laryssa is gone."

"Maura, Jane will work around the clock to find Laryssa for you. You know that."

Rebecca paused and placed a reassuring hand on Maura's arm. "You know... someday you'll thank me, but I'm entirely certain I'm returning a much more thoughtful Jane Rizzoli to you. She had a rough go of it for some time, but in the end, I think her time spent in hiding helped her sort through some of the things she use to hide from." Becca winked at the ME and teasingly elbowed Maura as she smiled trying to lighten the mood.

The two fell into comfortable conversation of the months that had past with stories of Jane as a volunteer worker, her recovery from her wounds and of her deep concern for her loved ones constant well being. Maura felt a ping of guilt as she listened to Rebecca recount the early months of Jane's time in WITSEC. Maura had spent the early months mourning the loss of her best friend and their missed opportunities at a life together. In her haze filled anger after Jane's return, Maura hadn't stopped to realize the pain Jane would have experienced by leaving her entire life behind in a bid to keep them all safe. She knew she had been punishing Jane for the feelings she had kept buried. Even now, as they started down the road to recovering their friendship she was still struggling with the line between her past feelings and her current feelings. As Maura tried to methodically work through all her feelings she again realized that she needed an objective third party in it all.

* * *

Hours later the sun began to rise and Jane came home to find Maura and Rebecca asleep on the couch, tea cold on the table and popcorn spilled on the floor. She smiled as she cleaned the popcorn up and headed to bed to catch a few hours of sleep before having to return to work. She knew she'd have to take Maura in for a formal statement and that they would formally start the search for the missing Doctor. Jane had been to half a dozen hospitals and had called all of Laryssa's colleagues from the office, but no one had seen her. Jane had pulled the doctors finances and holdings in a search to find another house or office that the Doctor could have escaped to. Jane knew hearing that your wife had been in love with a recently resurrected friend wouldn't be easy to swallow. She also knew that she had spent the entire day working next to the Doctor and she hadn't once seemed hostile or rude towards the detective.

After their dinner together and the long conversations Jane and Maura had shared, Jane felt content that they would return to their former friendship. She knew she wanted her second lease on life to be different. She also knew she wouldn't be the reason Maura left her marriage. She couldn't be an affair left to the wayside and she couldn't ask Maura to leave her marriage. But Jane knew at some point, someday, she'd either get tired of the burden of the secret or she'd accidentally slip and let her feelings out. Jane had told Becca all about her current predicament and Becca continued to tell Jane the same thing: Tell Maura how she really felt and let Maura make her own decisions. Jane knew they would be destroying Maura's marriage, but at the same time, what if Maura didn't leave her marriage? What if Maura chose to stay where she'd already committed to a woman? Was Maura still in love with Jane? Had it been fleeting and something she had moved on from when she thought Jane had died? Jane knew there was more to it then just telling Maura and letting her decide. 'There has to be more to it then that, right?'

Jane raked her hands through her hair and forced herself to close her eyes. She needed sleep. They had a long day ahead of them, and Jane had decisions to make.

* * *

Maura awoke realizing she wasn't in her own bed, the night before came crashing down on her.

Laryssa was missing.

Maura searched for her phone, finding it pushed down into the couch. She immediately dialed Laryssa's number, the call going straight to voicemail. Maura hung up and scrolled through her contacts to Laryssa's office number. On the third ring Jess answered.

"Morning Maura!"

"Hey Jess. How are you?"

"I'm good, how are you this morning?"

"I'm good. Did you want to talk to Laryssa?"

"She's there?"

"Well yeah, where else would she be?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, I… Just thought… sorry. Yes. I'd like to talk to her if she's not busy."

"Sure hang on two seconds." The line clicked to place her on hold as it was transferred to Laryssa's inner office. She was at work? She had been ignoring Maura's calls? Maura's mind raced as she waited for Laryssa to pick up.

"Doctor White speaking."

Maura couldn't believe it.

"Hello?"

"Where have you been?!"

"Maura?"

"Who else would be worrying about your whereabouts?!"

The line was quiet for a second too long in which Maura could hear the phone russell around.

"I'm sorry about last night. I came home and had another drink, tripped and fell over the table and hit my head. I called and had a cab take me to the hospital and then I called Jacob to come get me and I fell asleep before we even made it to his house. My phone died while I was at the bar with Jess and I haven't been able to charge it until now. I just got into the office."

"Why did you call Jacob and not me?"

"He was still listed as my emergency contact and I honestly couldn't remember your number without my phone working."

"Are you okay?"

"Yes. I'm fine Maura."

"Can I come bring you lunch or maybe we could go get a quick bite?"

"I have a full schedule today, I'm not sure when I'll have time."

"…Alright. Will I see you at home tonight?"

"I'll be home, but it could be late. If it gets too late I may just stay here at the office. I have an early morning meeting tomorrow with everyone."

"Okay…" Maura knew she was being brushed off. Only yesterday things had been better, and Laryssa had seemed confident when she'd said they would figure this out. "…are you sure everything's okay?"

"Maura, we will talk when I get home. But I promise, Everything is going to be just fine."

* * *

"Jane. Jane, I need you to wake up." Maura lightly shook Jane.

"What's up Maur?" Jane asked, her voice thick with the morning.

"You need to call Korsak and let them know Laryssa is fine."

It took Jane a minute to realize what Maura had said before she sat up. The covers fell away and Jane could feel the cold in the room. Maura looked down as the covers fell and saw Jane's nipples hardened at the cold air. Maura flushed as the image of her mouth around one of those erect nipples flashed across her mind. She averted her eyes quickly to Jane's face as Jane blushed and pulled at the blanket to hide her chest as her nipples grew harder from her sudden arousal at Maura's response. 'This is so wrong Rizzoli! Get it together', Jane reprimanded herself. Jane cleared her throat and leaned over for her phone in an effort to hide from Maura's gaze.

"Alright, explain what's happening now that I'm awake."

Maura chuckled uncomfortably as she banished the thoughts away and explained what Laryssa had said when she'd talked to her earlier.

"See Maura, it's okay. She just needed some time…" Jane smiled as she explained. Jane saw Maura's face and realized she was upset nonetheless. "… Hey, I'm sorry that me coming back has cause so much trouble for you two." Jane looked away, unable to meet Maura's eye as she apologized, wanting nothing more then to reach out and touch the woman in front of her.

Maura broke the barrier between them and placed a hand on Jane's arm.

"It's not your fault Jane. It's mine really."

"Maur, it's going to be okay. Just talk to her. You guys can figure it out." Jane swallowed as the words hung in the air. Her heart screamed at her to tell Maura the truth, to stop hiding. Her moral compass told her otherwise. She could find happiness without destroying anyone else's in the process.

"Could you take me home? I need to get ready for work and today is Tuesday. If our killer resurfaces, it'll be today."

"Sure Maur, just let me get dressed."

"Okay."

Jane laughed as the ME stayed seated on the edge of the bed, not understanding that Jane was only wearing her t-shirt and nothing more.

"What's funny?" Maura asked, looking around.

"Well… I was tired this morning when I got in… I only got half of my pajamas on before getting into bed."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I'll wait in the living room." Maura blushed slightly and walked to the door. As she entered the hallway she turned around to close the door as Jane stepped out of bed. Her long legs flexed, the olive toned skin soft and smooth. Maura could see the scars from the serial killer they were stalking marring the otherwise perfect canvass. She traveled the length of her legs to the hem of her long baseball style tshirt she wore. Black boy short style underwear peaked just below the hem and Maura flushed as her heart fluttered slightly. She quickly closed the door and stood in the hallway, silently reprimanding herself.

Maura moved to the kitchen and saw that Becca was awake and making coffee.

"Morning Maura. Everything okay?" Rebecca's smile faded quickly when she took in the ME's expression.

"Yes. Laryssa wasn't actually missing. I spoke to her this morning. Jane is calling to let them know and then taking me home."

"I see. Well that's good isn't it?"

"Oh, yes it is. Of course it is. I just don't know how to repair the damage that's been done."

Rebecca grunted her understanding as she lifted her coffee mug to her lips. There was a knock at the door and Rebecca smiled as she quickly put the mug down and walked to the door.

"Morning lady!"

"Good morning babe." Maura recognized the voice but couldn't place the face. 'Babe? So Rebecca was seeing someone!' Maura thought as she waited for the two women to come around the corner. When Agent Black was the first around the corner Maura had to do a double take.

"Good morning Doctor White. How are you today?"

"Agent Black, I'm good. How are you?"

"Ashley, please. And I'm good. I thought I'd stop by and take Becks to breakfast, would you like to join us?"

"Oh, thank you but no. Jane is about to take me home so I can get ready for the day."

"Oh, did you two have a sleep over?" The Agent smiled and giggled at her own little joke as a elbow made contact with her ribcage. She turned to ask Rebecca why she had elbowed her when she noticed the look on the marshals face. She cleared her throat and quickly shifted gears on conversation topic. "So I hear they called a meeting for this afternoon. Will you be attending?"

"Of course. Have you found any other cases with the same MO?"

"I haven't. But your wife called me yesterday and said she had a hunch she was following up on and would let me know how it panned out this afternoon."

"Ready Maur…." Jane came to a halt as she entered the living room and noticed the most recent addition.

"Ashley!" Jane and the agent exchanged a quick hug and a laugh. "What are you doing here? I was certain I'd scared you away with stories of this one."Jane traded as she nodded towards the marshal.

"Yeah right Rizzoli. You wish!" Ashley joked with the detective.

Maura watched the exchange and longed to be in on the camaraderie the small group seemed to share. She wondered when Jane had become so much more alive. The detective she had known let few people in past her gruff exterior and yet here she was, joking and laughing with a woman she'd know only a short while.

"Ready to go Maur?" Maura was pulled from her train of thought as Jane grabbed her keys and headed towards the door. "See you two later!"


	17. Chapter 16

Jane dropped off Maura and headed home to get ready for the day. Maura showered quickly and sat down to set up an appointment with a psychologist for that afternoon. She researched a few and was mildly upset to find the one recommended by most worked in Laryssa's office. She was tempted to see the doctor in Laryssa's office if only for an excuse to see her wife. She knew she didn't need an excuse to stop and see her wife, but right now she felt as if she might. 'No, I should give her the space she needs right now.' Maura continued looking until she came across a name she'd heard before. She called and set up an appointment for her lunch hour, satisfied with her choice.

The morning passed without issue and Maura anxiously waited for her appointment that afternoon. She had the task force meeting shortly after and was nervous to see Laryssa. Maura stopped by the coffee shop on her way out to her appointment and ran into Sean and Rebecca on what looked to be a tour of BPD.

"Hello Doctor Isles-White."

"Lieutenant Cavanaugh. Marshal Johnson. How are you both?"

The two shared a laugh and Maura raised her eyebrow in question. Rebecca smiled and stuck out her hand to shake Maura's.

"It's Detective Johnson now, Doc. I just finished the paper work and the Lieutenant is showing me around."

"That's fantastic. I didn't know you were planning on making the move permanent."

"Well I'm from Boston, and have wanted to come back for sometime. The vacancy in Homicide was enticing enough to make up my mind for me."

"Well congratulations and welcome. I look forward to working together." Maura smiled and excused herself to make it to her appointment in time. The drive was short but Maura's mind raced the entire drive. She had been concerned with Rebecca's involvement in Jane's life, but Rebecca seemed to be otherwise involved with the Federal Agent. Maura still felt a twinge of jealousy towards the newly appointed detective. She mentally added it to the list of things to talk through with her new therapist.

Maura parked and looked up at the house she'd parked in front of. It was a beautiful older home with a small sign in the yard announcing the office of Dr. Erica Jackson. Maura made her way to the front door and entered. The home had been altered to a warm and inviting office. A young receptionist greeted her and gave her the papers needing Maura's information and invited her to take a seat. Maura had no sooner finished her paperwork than Dr. Jackson stepped into the waiting room.

"Dr. Isles-White. Lovely to met you," the psychologist said as she extended a hand. Maura shook the offered hand and smiled politely.

"Thank you. It's nice to meet you as well."

"Shall we?" Erica motioned to the opened door and the office beyond.

Maura nodded and walked into the office. Maura glanced around and instantly felt a little more at ease. The office was decorated in dark woods, leather couches and soft yellow accents. It gave the feeling of an old library, but was warm and inviting. Maura noticed a distinct scent that reminded her of cinnamon and the holidays. 'She's good,' Maura thought as she sat down. The couch had a throw blanket on the back off to one side giving the couch a homey feel. Maura sat in the corner of the large leather couch and waited to be joined by the doctor.

"Maura, would you like anything to drink? I have water, coffee and apple juice." The therapist inquired as she closed the door and walked toward her desk.

"Water would be lovely, thank you."

Dr. Jackson stepped over to a small fridge behind the desk and procured two water bottles. After handing a bottle to Maura, she sat down in one of the high backed chairs across from Maura. She smiled as she picked up her notepad and turned her attention to Maura.

"Today, we are just going to get to know one another. I'm Erica, and you are welcome to call me Erica or Dr. Jackson. Whatever makes you comfortable, alright?' Maura nodded and smiled.

"Please call me Maura." Erica smiled and nodded.

"Alright Maura… what brings you in today?"

Maura smiled uncomfortably. She knew the line of questioning would be the first out, but she felt unprepared to share it with this woman. She had always been a firm believer in the softer sciences and knew the good they did. She sighed, knowing she needed to start at a beginning and knew that the beginning of her current situation started with Jane. She decided Jane's death would be an ample place to start as she had felt that was when things really seemed to start unraveling for her. Maura launched into an explanation of her life over the last year pausing several times as she heard herself explain the situation. Mulling over her decisions as she said them, she realized in fact that most of her "problems" had been self-inflicted. She paused as the realization dawned on her and Dr. Jackson smiled as she watched Maura work through something. She had seen this happened often when a patient sat down and explained what had brought them in. Maura smiled as she realized a silence had filled the room for several minutes as her realization took seed.

"I apologize. I got lost in a thought." Maura explained.

Erica smiled and gently prodded, "Would you care to share?"

"I have been so consumed with placing the blame on Jane for leaving, for faking her death, for leaving me alone, for everything really, and I didn't stop, not once did I stop and realize it wasn't her fault. She did, what she always does, by protect the ones she loves. I was the one who didn't tell her how I felt years ago. I was the one who decided I was ready to move on with my love life. I can't blame her for leaving and the subsequent actions I chose…"

"It is often easier to blame others for our decisions than to accept responsibility and consequences' for our choices. Maura, do you think some of this is also due to having your feelings rejected?"

"I…. I suppose I could be holding on to that as well."

"Being in love with them both is a very complicated feeling."

Maura nodded her head softly, "You can't possibly understand how difficult."

"You are correct, I have never felt the way you do about two people, but that doesn't mean we can't work through this. However, you do know I can't tell you who to choose, that is completely up to you."

"Honestly, there isn't a decision to be made. I told Jane how I felt and she doesn't reciprocate the feeling. I'm destroying my marriage on a schoolgirl crush. What I need is for you to help me get over it. To deal with the residual feelings."

"Maura, this was hardly a school girl crush. Although I do have to ask, how much does your spouse know?"

"When we first started dating, I assumed she understood how I felt about Jane as we talked a lot about the loss and pain. She was instrumental in me moving on. But I realize now that I never actually told her I had been in love with Jane. Even if I had, I'm sure she didn't feel threatened, Jane was dead."

"Maura, each person sees, hears, believes and understands things in very different ways. They often take the good and desirable parts, discarding the bad, to make them fit for their own gratification. People have been known to hide from the truth, even if it's staring them in the face."

Maura was quiet as she tried sorting through blame and acceptance for the roll she had played. She felt a need to argue her point, if only to place the blame on someone or something else. Erica glanced at the clock and realized their time had come to an end.

"Maura, our time is up for today. I'd like to set up an appointment for next Tuesday to continue, if that is all right?"

"Alright. Same time?"

"If that works for you, Maura."

"It does." Maura stood and walked to the door behind the doctor. Erica opened the door and Maura walked into the foyer to confirm her appointment for the following week. Maura retreated to her car and sighed heavily. She felt emotionally drained and knew she had a lot to think about. She realized now that she had wasted the months that Jane had been back, silently punishing her for mistakes Maura felt she was at fault for. She had punished Jane for leaving, and then for returning. Maura knew she had a lot of work to do in repairing the relationships in her life and she had to start with Laryssa.

Maura decided then to go and see Laryssa. She knew they had much to talk about and she knew she needed to do it face to face as opposed to continuing to try over the phone. She also worried about where she was staying, as she knew she could only handle so much of her brother and sister.

Jane accompanied Rebecca and Ashley to breakfast after dropping Maura off and Rebecca took them to a café she used to frequent. Jane ordered her food and then turned her attention to the women sitting across from her. They had only known one another a short time, but even a blind man could see their compatibility. They moved in sync together and Ashley was every bit as sarcastic as Becca was. The two seemed to be in their own little world, heads together looking through the menu trying to decide if they wanted to share something. They unanimously agreed to order and share when at the last minute Rebecca decided she wanted the bacon creation and Ashley turned her nose up at the greasy confection instead ordering the eggs Benedict.

Rebecca turned conspiratorially towards Jane and said with a smile, "I have a surprise for you!"

Jane smiled and then froze when Ashley quickly looked up at Jane and then at Rebecca. Jane could tell Ashley knew something about the surprise, but what she wasn't sure. Rebecca turned to Ashley as well and smiled. "It's a surprise for you too!"

Ashley smiled, "So you found out?"

Rebecca simply nodded. Ashley threw her arms around Rebecca's neck and planted a kiss on the smiling lips of her girlfriend. Jane watched on with a twinge of jealously at their affection. She hoped someday she'd be able to find someone who made her as happy as they made each other. 'You already did Rizzoli,' came the inner voice. Jane smiled, ignoring the inner demons, cleared her throat and waited for the two to explain.

Rebecca turned her beaming smile towards Jane. "Looks like you finally got a new partner Jane."

It took Jane longer to process the sentence then normally. Her brain instantly went to Frost and his death, and then it came screeching to a halt in the present.

"Pa-partner?" Jane stammered as she started to smile. "No! Sean hired you?"

Rebecca smiled and nodded. Jane couldn't help the smile that spread across her face. She knew Rebecca had wanted to relocate back to Boston after her detail with Jane had ended. She stood and quickly pulled Rebecca into a hug.

"He couldn't have made a better choice!" Jane said as she pulled back from the hug and smiled at her new partner.

Becca released Jane from the hug and laughed as she lightly punched her shoulder. "Don't tell me you've gone soft on me Rizzoli!" Jane made a face and laughed lightly as she sat back down in the booth.

The trio fell into comfortable conversation about Rebecca retrieving her stuff from Washington and Jane made sure to give her a hard time about what she expected from her partners. Jane enjoyed the friendship she was building with the two women but felt the sting of loss. She should have been sitting across from them with Maura by her side; the two couples enjoying brunch together and swapping stories about their lives. But had Jane told Maura how she'd felt before this whole mess, Rebecca wouldn't be sitting across from them and she would probably be mourning more then one lost family member. Jane sighed softly, smiled and focused on the conversation of apartment hunting.

Laryssa had a splitting headache all morning as she saw the few patients on the schedule for the day. Halfway through her last patient before lunch she watched as the young girl across from her stared blankly at her with wide eyes.

"Are you alright Lisa?"

"Doctor, you're bleeding."

Laryssa had reached up and realized the wound must have reopened. The staples that had been put in pulled at her skin and only served to intensify her headache. Laryssa had ended the session early and excused herself to clean up. Jess had followed her into the bathroom, a worried look on her face until they cleared the door.

"Sis, are you alright?"

Laryssa just glared at Jess as she stood there casually leaning against the stall.

"Do I look fine to you?"

Jess held up her hands in surrender but smiled nonetheless. It was that same smug smile Laryssa saw minutes later on Jess's face as she asked her to cancel her next appointment and then quietly excused herself to get a nap on her couch, asking not to be disturbed. Laryssa fell asleep instantly, her mind drifting back to the events of the night before.

"What were you thinking?!" He screamed at her. "This was never part of the plan! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!" He screamed, only an arms length away from their capture. She knew he was angry. He hadn't raised his voice like this in ages, as he felt it was beneath himself to allow such emotions to rule him.

"She figured it out. I caught her researching the names and I had to act immediately. YOU had me install the triggers into the computer if anyone accessed those files. I had to, to keep us from getting caught!"

"You've really fucked this up is what you've done. I can't…" He paced as he repeatedly flexed his hands in to fists. " I could strangle you right now!" He stepped towards her, his anger spilling over.

"Really? I save your ass and this is the thanks I get? Why don't I just let her go and let her become your problem then?! We talked about the fact that she could figure it out. You're lucky I was monitoring the system so closely!" She knew she was testing the waters with yelling back at him, but he needed to know that she wouldn't take it lying down.

He stepped back and realized what she was saying was true. It was only a matter of time before she made the connections and they could have been sitting in a cell already. It still didn't solve their problem of what they were going to do with her.

"Do you at least have a plan? We can't kill her!"

"Actually we could, but I have something better. But first we will need to speak privately."

The two walked out of the room leaving Laryssa dazed and confused. She'd walked into the house that night with new information, but now she had all the information. The problem was, would she ever get the chance to tell anyone. She needed to clear the fog in her head from her head wound. She was glad for the dim lighting as her head felt as if it had been cracked opened. She knew she needed medical attention and hoped one of them would at least dress the wound.

The nausea came quickly and she was unable to stop herself before throwing up. As she looked down she noticed how much blood had collected on her blouse. As she lifted her head back up too quickly, her nausea returned and she dry heaved.

'Slowly' she silently coached herself. Her throat was sore and she needed water. She needed to get them to give her some water and to bandage her head. She silently tried to think of how to gain the upper hand in her current situation. She had spent years training on how to deal with people who had lost all touch with reality, but in her haze she couldn't draw any plausible conclusions. As she slowly tried to turn to look around to get a bearing on her surroundings, she saw the leg of another chair in her peripheral vision and a sickening notion hit her.

'Maura!' She thought. They didn't have her did they? They killed couples. But their MO was couples that had cheated. They shouldn't have Maura. Laryssa took a deep breath and mustered but all her strength to scoot her chair to the right to get a better look. The quick motion sent her into another dry heave. She took a deep breath and slowly looked up, finally seeing that the chair as empty. She exhaled the breath she was holding, 'God, please let her be safe.' Laryssa swallowed and tried to clear the haze. She needed to form a plan. She needed to get to Maura before they did. She knew that if they wanted to control her in the plan she had heard them speak of, the only way to get her to, would be through Maura.

Laryssa struggled against the bonds trying to work her hands free as her mind raced back and forth. She'd been so preoccupied with the case and finding the killers that she hadn't noticed the glairing facts in front of her face. It all made sense now. She couldn't quite figure out how or why it had all started, but she knew she would see it ended. She had questions she needed answers to and fought as the darkness closed in. Laryssa heard the sound of foot steps approaching the door way and she tried to open her eyes to look into the eyes of her captor, but all she saw was that smug smile hovering above her as the darkness closed in.

 **A/N….**

So I know a lot of you wanted Laryssa to be the murderer… she isn't. But that isn't to say she doesn't still have a surprise or two in store for us all.

PS… thanks for still holding out for this one, for the notes and the encouragement… updates should happen more regularly with life kinda… sorta… settling down ;) Hope everyone had a safe and fun holiday!


	18. Chapter 18

Laryssa awoke from the waking nightmare of the previous night when she heard the office door slowly opening. Laryssa tried to stay calm as a slow panic settled in. She heard the echo of the threats from the night before and knew she had every reason to believe Jess was sneaking in to issue more warnings.

"Laryssa?" Maura whispered.

"Maura?" Laryssa sat up quickly. "Maura, what are you doing here?"

Maura walked across the room to the couch and sat down beside Laryssa. "I'm here because you scared me last night. I was so worried something had happened to you and after your call this morning; I can't help but feel as if you are ignoring me."

Laryssa placed a comforting hand on Maura's thigh. "Love, It was a simple accident. I'm sorry I worried you. I honestly couldn't think straight last night."

"Why didn't Jacob call me though?"

"I'm not sure why to be honest. But it doesn't matter. I changed my emergency contact this morning and all is well."

"Lys, you're bleeding. Are you alright?" Maura stood and clicked on the lamp on the table to get a better look at her wife's head. "Laryssa! What did you manage to hit your head on? This is much worse then I thought. Were you concussed? How are you feeling now?" Maura cupped the side of her wife's face and looked into her eyes. Laryssa met her gaze for a split second before looking away.

"Maura…" Laryssa knew she had to say something, but she also knew that they were listening to her. How was she to tell Maura? If they found out that she'd told them, any of them what she knew or what was coming, they would kill Maura and then her. They hadn't stopped there either. They'd gone on in great detail about when their murderous rampage had begun. Could she somehow send Maura a message and have her start digging? Maura didn't even know she was in danger, how would she know to start looking behind the cryptic subtext, even if Laryssa could figure out a way to get it to her without the others finding out? No… she needed to stick to "their" plan for now and go from there.

"Maura… I need some time."

"Is this about Jane and what I told you the other night?"

"Yes. I have a lot on my plate right now and working with you and Jane, it's hard. I need to separate myself from the situation for a little while."

"Do… do you want me to move out while you're figuring this out?"

"No. Not at all. I'm going to stay in the corporate apartment we have and you stay in the house. I just need a little time to sort this out. K?"

"Oh-okay." Maura felt defeated. She wanted to fight, to yell and say not to give up so easily, but she also knew Laryssa thought everything through. If she'd decided this was the best course of action, then it was, for now. "How is this going to work? When will we see one another?"

"Maura, it will only be for a few days. I just need some rest and to sort through a few things. I promise, I'll be home soon."

"If it's only going to be for such a short time, why cant we just work this out together?"

"Maura, we…I just need some time."

Maura nodded and stood to leave. Laryssa knew this was going to be hard on Maura; she just hoped that someday she would understand why she was doing this. All she wanted to do was keep her safe. Laryssa stood and followed Maura to the door. Laryssa was about to offer to walk Maura to her car when Jess stood.

"Hey Maura! Nice to see you!"

Maura smiled politely and looked back at Laryssa before quickly walking out of the office.

"Soooo how did it go?" Jess asked sarcastically. Laryssa had to stop herself from throttling her younger sister.

"It went exactly as you planned, are you happy now?" Laryssa could feel herself starting to lose it as she rubbed at her temples. She felt something warm against her forehead and realized she had disrupted the wound and she felt her anger just below the surface.

"Someone seems to be in a bad mood!" Jess smirked and sat back down. Laryssa could tell Jess was enjoying her newfound power over her. Laryssa felt helpless as her current situation swirled around her. She knew she had to figure out her next move, and she had to figure it out sooner, rather than later. Laryssa turned and retreated into her office. She had another hour before her next appointment and she needed to clean her head wound and get some fresh air. She knew she needed to clear her head before their meeting this afternoon. Could she somehow tip off Maura, or any of the others, to her current situation without endangering any of them?

She grabbed some cash and her cell phone and headed toward the door. Jess stood as she realized Laryssa was leaving. Laryssa noticed her sister's movement and held up a hand.

"No. I need to clear my head and then I'm stepping out for some coffee. I don't need an escort."

"Lys… I don't need to remind you about the consequences if you call or talk to someone you shouldn't, do I?"

Laryssa shook her head and left the office. Laryssa headed to the bathroom to clean up the drying blood. She stared at herself in the mirror trying to keep the tears at bay as she quickly cleaned herself up. How could Jess possibly know if she tipped off anyone? She didn't have that kind of power, did she?

* * *

Jess sat back down after Laryssa left and logged into her computer. She quickly pulled up the GPS on her sister's phone and monitored its slow movements. She opened another window and pulled up Maura's GPS as well and noted that she was driving towards BPD. She smiled as she silently patted herself on the back for her vigilance. She'd been preparing for the possibility that Laryssa would stumble onto their plans since she and Maura had started seeing one another. She knew her close involvement with the ME and her work with the BPD made her a viable candidate for them to turn to when they started their profile on Jess' little team. She'd spent month's carefully planting bugs throughout the office, Laryssa and Maura's home's, BPD, and she'd even slept with that FBI agent to get to her phone and apartment. Now that they had Laryssa as a lose end, she planned on using her sister as the fall guy when it came time for them to finish their work, whenever that may be.

* * *

Laryssa showed up to the meeting as Jane was walking into the conference room. The two were alone and Jane smiled tentatively at the doctor. She cleared her throat and sat down across from Laryssa.

"Hey Doc… Everything alright?"

"Yes Jane, everything is all right."

Jane knew Laryssa wasn't going to make this easy on her and she knew she needed to approach the topic of Maura and what Maura had confessed. "Laryssa… Maura told me that she told me… about… well you know..." Jane fidgeted uncomfortably. Laryssa smiled at the detective and nodded her understanding as Jane continued. "I know how much you mean to Maura and how worried she was about you last night. I really don't want to be a wedge between you two, but I also don't want to lose my friend again. If you need me to step back while you two figure everything out, I'll understand."

"Honestly Jane, that won't be necessary. Its simply an adjustment we have to make. I'm just lucky you are straight!" Laryssa chuckled and Jane smiled softly.

"So there are no hard feelings?" Jane implored.

"No hard feelings detective." Laryssa smiled looking down at her hands. Laryssa knew she had only moments before the others started to arrive and she needed to say something… anything to set the detective on the right path. Her thoughts were interrupted when Jane spoke again.

"How is your head? Maura told me it required some staples."

"It's alright. Luckily Jess was able to take me and put me up for the night." 'Alright Jane… There's a clue. Let that cop sense make the connection and realize the conflicting story.' Laryssa thought as she watched Jane closely.

"I thought…"

Jane's thought was interrupted as Maura and Frankie entered the room. Jane was distracted by the look of hurt and the tension that immediately took over Maura as she looked up, upon entering, to see Laryssa sitting there. Jane instantly knew something was up and she made note to talk to Maura afterwards. She watched as Laryssa only slightly smiled at Maura and she returned to looking at her hands resting on the table. Maura sat down and Frankie sat next to her to continue their conversation. Jane smiled as her new partner and the FBI agent entered and made their way around the table to sit with Jane. As everyone seemed to be wrapped up in conversations, Jane took the moment to contemplate Maura and her current situation. Laryssa was distant, her tone didn't carry the hint of a smile in it the way it had the day they'd spent working through the case together and Maura was avoiding looking in her wife's direction completely. They both looked like they sat straighter then normal and there was palpable tension in the air. Someone was hiding something, but what, Jane could not figure out.

* * *

During the meeting Rebecca grabbed her pad of paper and scrawled a quick note, nudging it towards Jane when she finished.

 **What is up with those two?**

Jane shrugged and nodded her head. The action caught Maura's attention and she looked at Jane. Jane caught Maura's eyes and smiled at the ME. Maura smiled and then turned, catching sight of the back of Laryssa's head and the smile fell. Half an hour later as the meeting was winding down, Laryssa stood and excused herself to get back to work. Maura went to stand as if to walk with Laryssa but Laryssa was already out the door, clearly in a hurry to get somewhere or to avoid someone.

The meeting concluded and Jane excused herself, telling Rebecca she'd be right back, and she slipped out the door and into the elevator with Maura. Jane looked over at the ME and could see she was barely containing her emotions.

"Maura?" Jane asked softly, turning to face the ME.

"No. Not here." Maura responded, her voice cracking.

They reached the basement and Jane followed Maura to her office. Once there Jane closed the door and approached her friend.

"Are you alright?" Jane asked as she reached a hand out to touch the ME. Maura felt the gentle hand on her arm and turned to the detective. "Oh Jane, what have I done?" Maura implored as she turned into Jane's awaiting arms. Jane hugged her tightly as Maura sighed and rested her head on Jane's lean shoulder.

"What happened?"

"Laryssa asked for some space. I suspect she is at our home now, packing a few bags."

"Maur, what happened?"

"I don't know! One minute we are fine and she is taking everything in stride and the next minute, she needs space, she won't talk to me, she won't hardly see me…" Maura trailed off as she took a ragged breath. She became acutely aware of Jane's proximity as she released the breath she'd been holding. Her face was pressed up her shoulder and when she turned her lips were inches away from Jane's neck. She could see the small pulse point in her neck and she had the strong desire to lean forward and kiss her way up her neck. Maura was pulled from her train of though when Jane exhaled sharply. Maura backed away suddenly shaking her head. Jane stepped forward and Maura held up her hand to stop the detectives advances.

"Jane, I need some time… to process these things. I'm sorry for involving you in my marital business."

Jane stood there trying to collect her feelings and thoughts. Only seconds before she had felt a surge of heat as she'd felt Maura's steady breath on her neck and she had felt her body temp rise as she'd felt the ME press her body closer to hers. And then it had ended and she was being held at arms length. 'What just happened?'

"Maura, I'll give you space, but don't forget, I'm here for you." Jane retreated from the office and into the elevator. She knew she shouldn't have had the thoughts she had just had, but having Maura so close, it was impossible. 'God, has she figured it out? Did she think I was trying to initiate something moments after she tells me her marriage is on the rocks?' Jane was so in her train of thought that she didn't notice when the elevator door opened and her mother stepped in.

"Janie!" Her mother exclaimed as she took in the state of her eldest child.

"Oh… hi Ma!" Jane replied realizing she was no longer alone and that she needed to snap out of her reprieve or her mother would know something was up. "Ma, what are you doing here?"

"Oh I came to bring Sean his lunch. We normally take it and eat in the park, but he is so busy with this case that I'm just dropping it by instead." Angela watched her daughter's eyes and realized they were still lost in deep thought. "Janie?"

"Yeah Ma?"

"Are you alright?"

"…I'm alright Ma. Just working through some things. How are you?"

Angela smiled as the elevator doors opened and a grinning Rebecca met them. "Oh! There you are partner! How'd it go with Maura?"

Angela smiled, she'd just known that her daughters thoughts had been on the ME and her new partner had just confirmed that…wait, partner? "You got a new partner Jane?"

"Yeah Ma. Rebecca is my new partner." Jane stated as Rebecca entered the elevator and Angela exited. Jane elbowed Rebecca and leaned over slightly to whisper loudly, "Here's where she gives you the 'keep her safe' speech."

Angela smiled and started to say something as the elevator doors closed. Angela closed her mouth and smiled. The more she saw Jane with Rebecca and the more time she spent getting to know the woman, the more she liked her. Angela's thoughts quickly turned to the other woman in Jane's life and she worried about what had transpired between Jane and Maura to have had Jane so lost in thought. Angela smiled sadly as she turned and walked toward her fiancé's office. She knew Jane and Maura had both missed opportunities with one another and she hoped she'd raised Jane well enough to know that an affair never ended well, but then again, she was her father's daughter, and it was Maura they were talking about.

* * *

"So what did Maura have to say about the awkwardness between her and the wife?"

Jane smiled and launched into an account of their "chat" in Maura's office. As Jane finished, Rebecca whistled low and shook her head.

"You two with the fireworks… better be careful or you two may end up in a complicated situation you're not gonna want to get out of, " Rebecca teased.

"Funny, funny. Were you looking for me for an actual reason?" Jane folded her arms and tried looking as perturbed as possible.

"I was actually looking for you because I think I found a lead."

Jane dropped her arms and the act at the mention of new information on their case. The two women quickly drove across town to the address on file of one of the victim's exes, a young man named Brian, and knocked on the door. After introducing themselves and being ushered into the home, Rebecca went straight into her line of questioning.

"Brian, I understand that you and Madison were in therapy together before you divorced."

"Yes, we were trying to save our marriage, but had I known she was cheating, I wouldn't have wasted our time or money."

"Can I ask what Psychologist you were seeing?"

"I don't remember his name, but she had heard about their practice from a friend."

"Do you by chance remember the name of the practice?"

"White Mental Health. They'd just opened their new building when we started going. Over by the University Hospital."

"Thank you Brian. That's all we need for now. If you remember the name of the psychologist you saw, would you please give us a call?"

"Sure."

The two detectives walked out of the house and as they entered the car, Jane pulled out her phone to Google the facility. Rebecca had started the engine and was pulling into traffic when Jane suddenly took a deep breath. Rebecca turned to look at her partner, eyebrow cocked in question.

"That's Laryssa's office."


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: I hate to say it, but I started working on a new story and kind of pushed this one to the side. But, I am back to finish this one and there are already a few chapters of a new story! But in a bid to make up… here is the longest chapter thus far! Enjoy!**

* * *

"Hey Jane. What's up?"

"Frankie, I need you to pull the names of every psychologist that works at White Mental Health and cross reference them with every file we have on the victims. Call families and exes and ask them if they were seeking counseling at some point due to the affairs."

"Okay Jane. You guys on to some thing?"

"I'll let you know. We are grabbing some food and then we will be back to help you make calls. Get the stuff pulled and in the conference room."

She disconnected and stared ahead as they traversed the streets of Boston. She let the thoughts fly across her head as she sat there trying to make heads or tails of the new information.

"Penny for your thoughts partner?"

"Follow me here for a second…" Jane paused, worried about what she was about to say out loud.

"Okay." Rebecca prodded.

"When did Laryssa come into Maura's life?"

"Shortly after you 'died'…" Wait Jane…you aren't saying you think.." Jane held up a hand as Rebecca pulled to a stop and turned to look at Jane.

"Let me finish.."

"Okay. Go ahead."

"She randomly comes back into Maura's life shortly after I die. She's worked with the BPD, she's on the task force which means she'd have all the information we do and could create a profile to push us in any direction. She's on the inside."

"Jane, are you saying this because you have a thing for her wife or because you truly believe she could be the murderer?"

Jane opened her mouth to speak and closed it again. She knew she was bias simply due to her proximity to this case. She also knew something was going on with Maura and Laryssa and that the doctor had been acting differently. Jane sighed and realized she may have jumped to a conclusion regarding the psychologist.

"You're right, I may have jumped to quickly, but there is something to this lead, I can feel it."

"You think?" Rebecca laughed and pulled the car away from the curb. "Jane, I seriously don't know why you haven't told that woman how you feel. You will spend the rest of your life wondering what could have been."

"I don't have to wonder, Becks, our life together could have been great. But it would also always have the stigma that I broke up a marriage to get what I wanted. I wanted to keep her safe, I left without telling her, part of this is my fault."

"Jane… what about what Maura wants? Clearly it's you. She wouldn't have told you or have been this upset about you coming back if you meant so little to her."

"It doesn't matter. I will not break up a marriage. My Pop did that to my Ma and I've seen first hand how devastating that is. I will not do that to Maura or Laryssa."

Rebecca sighed. She knew Jane was right and that her father's infidelity had been a black spot on an otherwise pleasant memory of her family and upbringing. They had discussed her father's cheating at length one night at the cabin in Washington. "Alright, I get it. You're never going to tell her."

"And neither are you Becks. I know that tone, you think there is a way around this."

"I can neither confirm or deny that that was the thought going through my head." Rebecca responded coyly. Jane looked as if she was about to say something when her phone rang. She sighed as she answered it.

"Hey Maura."

Rebecca smiled crookedly, shaking her head as they pulled up to their lunch destination and got out of the car to give Jane some privacy on what seemed to be a personal call from the ME. She pulled out her phone and sent a message to Ashley.

 **B: Would it be wrong of me to tell Maura?**

The response came quickly. **A: Very wrong!**

Rebecca made a face as if the FBI agent could see it and responded,

 **B: Scale of one to ten, how wrong?**

 **A: Becks! It's not your affair to be involved in.**

 **B: Kind of is! I whisked Jane away by using Maura's safety as leverage. Even then you could tell how they felt for each other.**

 **A: Don't meddle love.**

 **B: I won't make promises I can't keep.**

 **A: I'm shaking my head.**

 **B: You love me.**

 **A: I do.**

 **B: Ditto**

Rebecca smiled as she slipped the phone back into her pocket and tapped on the window to hurry Jane up. She leaned against the cruiser and let her mind weave through the complicated web her partner had gotten herself into. She also knew there was something about Laryssa that had begun to nag at her. Something felt off and Rebecca always followed her instincts when it came to her "feelings."

Jane exited the car and Rebecca pushed off from where she leaned on the car. "About time!" Rebecca elbowed Jane.

"Maura needs to talk and she asked me to dinner tonight."

"Alright!" Rebecca exclaimed as she held up her hand for a high five. Jane rolled her eyes and walked into the café.

"What? A girl can dream can't she?" Rebecca smiled as she stepped to the counter to order. Jane contemplated her conversation with Maura and she knew that whatever was going on with Maura and Laryssa, she would soon understand. Maura had sounded sad, almost defeated on the phone and Jane had asked her repeatedly what was wrong and the ME wouldn't say. When Maura had asked to have dinner together tonight she had said she would explain what she could. The comment made Jane worry that maybe Maura didn't even know what was going on.

They got their food to go and headed back to the precinct to help Frankie. They gathered the names of the seven doctors who worked at the office and began combing through the files they had on the victims for any correlation between them and their victims. Frankie started calling friends, family and coworkers of the deceased. They worked for hours searching for a correlation between the office of therapists and the victims.

Seven o'clock rolled around and they had no intentions of stopping until Maura walked in.

"Here you are!"

"Shit, Maur! Sorry! I forgot. We were working through something and I lost track of the time." Jane quickly closed the file she had been looking through and stood. Rebecca smiled as she watched the two interact.

Maura smiled and waved her hand in a gesture as if to say it was all right. Truth was, it was all right. Just being here with Jane had lifted her mood and she wasn't going to reprimand herself right now for feeling this way.

"Do we need to reschedule? Or perhaps have dinner here?" Maura questioned as she looked at Rebecca, Frankie had ducked out earlier for his date with Riley.

Rebecca stood and shook her head, "No, no. We can leave this to the morning. Besides, Ashley keeps asking when I'll be free so I should head out as well." Rebecca smiled warmly and moved towards the door walking behind the ME, giving the detective a thumbs up and winked. Jane smiled and shook her head softly. Maura smiled and tried to ignore the tinge of jealousy she experienced at the new close bond the two detectives shared. They all exited the conference room and headed towards the elevators. But they waited for the elevator to ascend, Rebecca turn to Maura and Jane.

"So what are you two up to tonight?"

Maura looked to Jane before answering. "We are just heading to eat dinner. What are your plans with Special Agent Black this evening?"

Jane laughed as she knew exactly how Rebecca would take the phrasing of the question.

"Well I plan on having my way with Special Agent Black before we eat, and most likely after as well." Rebecca smiled sweetly and winked at Maura. Jane laughed as they entered the elevator and descended. Maura's cheeks turned a soft shade of pink as she avoided eye contact on the quiet, quick trip down to the lobby. Rebecca smiled as they exited the elevator and headed towards the garage. She hadn't spent much time with Maura but she had lived with Jane and she wondered how Maura had gotten use to the brand of joking Jane had.

"I'm over here… good night you two. Have fun, but not too much." Becca winked as she waved, smiling to herself as she reached her car.

Jane smiled and shook her head as she headed towards her car. Maura noticed Rebecca's smirk as she'd gotten into her car, wondered what the double meaning in her parting had meant, and who it had been meant for. As the two closed their doors and Jane started the engine, she turned to Maura. "Where to?"

Maura smiled and turned in her seat towards Jane. "I have a new pizza place I want to take you to."

"Music to my ears! Where am I headed?"

Maura gave directions to the new Italian place she'd read about and they fell into comfortable conversation as they drove. Maura wanted to bring up Jane's new partner as Jane dropped her name again in their conversation. Maura cringed as the word partner went across her mind. They had a chemistry that Maura couldn't quite put her finger on and she could swear Rebecca had been teasing Jane when they set off together. She knew she had absolutely no reason to be jealous, she had no stake or claim to Jane. She was married after all. She chastised herself as she realized she was being silly. Besides, Jane wasn't into women last Maura checked.

They arrived and were seated quickly as Maura had made reservations earlier in the day. They ordered a bottle of wine and fell back into comfortable conversation about Frankie and his "secret" proposal to Riley. As the topic turned to marriage, Jane knew she needed to ask how things were going with the two doctors. 'It's what a good friend would do, Rizzoli.' Jane sighed and smiled softly as she leaned in closer to the table.

"Speaking of…how are things with Laryssa going?"

Jane noticed that Maura seemed to tense up at the mention of her spouse and she looked down at her glass as she rolled the stem between her fingers. Jane couldn't decide on whether or not to push the subject when Maura quietly replied, "I honestly don't know how it's going."

Jane cocked an eyebrow in question and waited for the ME to continue.

"We've talked, but she says she needs time and she has decided to stay at the apartment her company keeps. She says its only for a few days, but there is something more bothering her. I can feel it. I went and surprised her at her office and she was happy to see me and then became extremely guarded. I can't figure it out. I can't figure out much these days actually."

Jane noticed Maura's hands fiddling with the wine glass and she moved to place a hand over Maura's in comfort. "Maura..." Jane spoke barely above a whisper. Maura leaned in closer and stopped fiddling with the glass, allowing Jane to hold her hand in comfort. Maura looked up and let her eyes connect with Jane's. She let herself get lost in the warm brown irises and let go of the breath she hadn't realized she was holding.

"I don't know what to do Jane."

"We will figure this out." Jane reassured Maura as she rubbed small circles on the top of her hand.

* * *

The two women were so involved in their conversation that neither noticed the man sitting at the bar, back to the wall, angled in their direction, watching them closely. When the cop had placed her hand on the doctors and leaned in, he knew he had some good shots. He pulled out his phone and started snapping photos of the two in their intimate looking position. She had been vague on what she had wanted him to watch for, but he had a feeling this was what his boss had wanted. He quickly shot off an email with a few pictures to his boss and then leaned back and ordered another beer.

* * *

Jane and Maura left the restaurant and headed towards Jane's car when she noticed the man at the bar exiting behind them. They made brief eye contact and he smiled as he turned and headed down a side street. Jane instinctively moved closer to Maura as they walked to the car and Jane quickly unlocked Maura's door. As they drove across town towards BPD, Jane couldn't help as her thoughts kept turning to the man at the bar. Maura smiled as she recognized the deep thought lines that had formed around Jane's eyes as she stared straight ahead. Maura watched as a strand of hair fell forward and had to stop herself from reaching forward and moving it behind the detective's ear. Maura cleared her throat and turned to Jane.

'What's got you brooding over there?"

"Just lost in thought, sorry."

"You know, my therapist says I apologize too much. I think you might too." Maura stated matter of factly.

"Your therapist?"

"Yes. She is helping me work through some things.. It's been nice to have someone I can talk to."

Jane felt the sting of the statement, even though she knew Maura had not meant it directly at her, she knew she had been pulling back from Maura since she'd gotten home and knew she needed to be a better friend.

"Maura, you know I'm always here for you. No matter what."

Maura heard the regret in the offer and realized how what she had said may have come across. "Oh Jane, I didn't mean it like that."

"It's alright. But I am still here if you need anything."

"I know…" Maura paused as she felt the vibration of her phone through the bottom of her purse that was sitting in her lap. As she pulled out the phone she noticed she had 2 missed calls and a voicemail from Laryssa. She checked the time stamp and realized she must not have heard the phone ring while they had been having dinner.

"Everything alright?" Jane inquired at the ME's sudden silence.

"Oh, yes. I missed a call from Laryssa is all. I'll call her when I get home." Maura said, sadness creeping into her voice as she looked at the dark screen of her phone.

"Maur, I'm sure it will all work out." Jane said, trying to convince her best friend and herself. Jane pulled into the garage at BPD and stopped behind Maura's car.

"I enjoyed spending time with you Jane. I've missed seeing you outside of work. I miss the way things used to be."

"Maur… I'm sorry I've been so distant. It's just been an adjustment coming back and jumping back into everything. Things will never be like they used to be, but we can always start over."

"I'd like that. I've missed my best friend." Maura leaned over and hugged Jane before getting out and getting into her own car. Jane stayed pulled forward and waited until Maura got in and started backing out of her spot. The two women pulled out of BPD, each heading a different direction.

* * *

Maura entered the dark house and put her keys and bag down next to the door. She climbed the stairs and quickly shed her clothes. She felt tired and worn out. She had had an enjoyable evening with Jane, and she'd felt a glimmer of something when she'd seen that Laryssa had called. She'd left BPD and quickly called Laryssa. Twice the call went straight to voice mail and Maura left a message on the second time, assuming Laryssa must have gone to bed early or perhaps her phone had died while she was still at the office. She tried the office line and got Jess's chipper voice asking her to leave a message. Maura pushed the END button on her steering wheel and had made it to the garage of their house when Laryssa's name flashed across the screen of Maura's phone.

"Hello?"

"Hi Maura."

"Laryssa! Are you alright?" Maura was alarmed at the flat tone of Laryssa's response.

"I'm…it's…" Laryssa stammered.

"What's wrong?"

Maura heard the sigh and the tell tale sign of tears in Laryssa's voice.

"It's too late."

"Laryssa? What's too late?"

"We can't fix it…it's too late. I… I can't Maura. Good Bye."

"What's too late? What can't you do?" Hello? Laryssa?" But the line was dead and Maura was left staring at the fading screen. She called Laryssa back and the call went straight to voicemail. Maura felt panicked, as if she should rush to wherever Laryssa had sequestered herself and talk sense into her. Maura wanted to shake Laryssa until she told her how to fix this, she wanted to scream at her for answers, something… anything. Maura stared at the phone and waited. What for, she was unsure, but waiting is all she felt able to do. Hours passed as Maura sat their numbly going through the conversation with Laryssa over and over. Maura was jolted from her catatonic state when her phone began to vibrate. She'd received an email reminder about her appointment with Dr. Jackson this afternoon. Maura closed the email and collected her bag. She needed to get inside the house. Their house. Maura suddenly dreaded returning to the empty house they'd shared. Her marriage was over, Maura sighed as she opened the front door.

* * *

The call came in around five that morning. The serial killer had struck again. Jane grumbled as she climbed out of bed and started getting dressed. A soft knock came at the door and Jane leaned forward and opened it.

"Morning." Rebecca stated as she entered the room, already dressed and ready to go. "You almost ready?"

"How are you ready already?" Jane asked grumpily.

"I never went to sleep." Rebecca smiled and winked at Jane as she sat down on her bed. Jane sat down next to her and laughed as she looked at the grin on her partners face.

"Thank god the walls are sound proof!" Jane laughed as she slipped on socks and then her shoes. Rebecca laughed and smiled as she shook her head in agreement.

"SO… how did your night go?" Rebecca questioned as Jane stood and walked into her closet.

"It went well. I feel like things are finally returning to normal with her and I."

"So nothing happened is what you're telling me." Rebecca shook her head as she stood. "Jane, you need to tell her. This isn't good for either of you."

"Her marriage is already on the rocks, I don't need to help it along."

"So you're what? Just going to make yourself miserable by listening to her complain as her marriage deteriorates and then what? Don't you dare tell me that then you'll tell her. I know you're already feeling guilty about their marriage and the role you think you played in it."

Jane threw the shirt she'd slept in at Rebecca. "I'll tell her when and if the time is right."

Rebecca rolled her eyes and lobbed the shirt into the hamper.

"Whatever you say Jane." Rebecca called as she walked out of the room and into the living room to wait. Jane followed and stopped when she noticed Ashley in the kitchen in a sports bra and shorts. A tattoo creeping down her right bicep and another could be seen on her back, half covered by the sports bra she was wearing.

"Really Rizzoli… like you've never seen a girl in a sports bra before." Jane made a face and turned to Ashley as she passed a travel mug of coffee across the island to both of them.

"I just didn't take you for the tattoo kind of girl, is all." Jane replied more to the FBI agent then to her partner.

"I'm sure there are a few things that would surprise you." Ashley smiled and winked at Rebecca. Jane shook her head. 'These two were made for one another.'

"We better get going. It's going to be a long day."

"Right, lets go. Thanks Ash for the coffee." Jane called as they rushed out the door to the crime scene.

* * *

The crime scene was almost identical to the others. By the time Jane and Rebecca arrived, Maura had already released the bodies and was headed back to the morgue to start the autopsies once the bodies arrived.

"Where's Maura?" Jane inquired once they arrived.

"Doctor Isles already did her assessment and released the bodies. She asked them to wait until you'd seen them to take them away, but she said she needed to get back to get things prepped for the bodies." Korsak explained, a hint of something in his voice.

Jane and Rebecca walked the scene and then headed back to BPD to start looking into the leads they'd been processing the day before. Jane was anxious to find a reason to venture down to the morgue, and around lunch time she found her excuse when her mother walked in.

"Hey Ma."

"Janie, I brought you all some lunch. Where's Maura?"

"She's still processing the bodies. I'll take her some food." Jane said quickly as she grabbed two to-go containers and headed towards the elevator.

* * *

Jane found Maura and knew right away something was amiss. "Hey, you alright?" Jane asked as she got closer to Maura. Maura turned and Jane noticed her shoulders shake slightly.

"I'm alright." Maura answered hurriedly.

"Maura…" Jane implored.

"Laryssa called me and said it was over Jane." Maura stated flatly, turning to look at Jane. Jane moved forward and embraced Maura. The two stood there a while as they each sought comfort in the other's embrace.

"Maura, maybe she just needs time." Jane tried to comfort Maura.

"There was a finality to her last night. Something has changed. I don't think it's a matter of time and space anymore."

The two pulled away from their embrace and moved to Maura's office to eat lunch in relative silence. As their lunch hour came to an end, Jane hugged Maura again and quietly retreated upstairs. Becca gave her a questioning look and Jane simply shrugged, hoping to avoid an explanation.

* * *

The day passed quietly as the detectives worked endless lead after lead in an effort to catch the person responsible for terrorizing their city. Maura stopped by to say good night and Jane offered to walk her to her car. Maura declined the offer and quietly excused herself. Once home Maura took a long shower and curled up on the couch, a documentary playing in the back ground as she worked her lip and stared at the fireplace. Time seemed to come to a stand still as she worked through the day. Her phone ringing pulled her from her reprieve.

"Doctor Isles"

"Maura, it's Erica Jackson. How are you tonight?"

"I'm good, how are… oh! I'm so sorry. I completely forgot about my appointment this afternoon!"

"It's quite alright Maura. I just wanted to call and make sure you were alright and see if we needed to reschedule. I have a cancelation tomorrow if you are available."

"I am available. What time?" Maura asked, realizing she needed to go more than ever.

"12:15 work?"

"That will work. Thank you Erica."

"Not a problem Maura. See you tomorrow."

Maura hung up and grabbed a blanket from the basket at the end of the couch and wrapped herself up. She was exhausted from getting no sleep the night before and she knew sleep would be hard to come by the next few days as the worked the latest double murder. Eyes closed, Maura fell into a fitful sleep.

* * *

Later that week as the team gathered together to discuss their new leads, Jane watched as Laryssa entered the room, keeping her gaze on her hands and her file folders. Jane had called her earlier in the week after the most recent victim turned out to be a direct patient of Laryssa's. Jane had been hesitant to include the doctor in their lead, but when they found a solid alibi for the doctor on the nights of multiple different murders, Jane knew Laryssa was not their killer. Jane worried about Maura in that moment and what seeing Laryssa would do to her. It had been almost a week since they had talked and Laryssa had claimed it to be over between the two. Jane heard a small gasp behind her as Maura entered the room. As Jane turned, she realized there was only one vacant seat, next to Laryssa. The group was mostly unaware of the marital problems between the two doctors, so Jane quickly sprung up.

"Laryssa, I actually had a few notes I'd like to discuss with you." Jane moved to the vacant seat and Maura took Jane's seat. Jane asked the doctor a few questions about her patient and any information she could provide.

"Detective, you do realize this all falls under doctor patient confidentiality, don't you?" Laryssa asked somewhat harshly, under her breath so that only Jane could hear. Jane was mildly taken aback. In all their meetings Laryssa had been cordial and pleasant. Jane's gut instantly said something was amiss. She looked at the doctors face, noticing the dark circles under her eyes, her hunched over posture and her hands that seemed to fidget uncontrollably. Jane reached forward slowly to place a hand on the doctor's arm.

"Don't," came the sharp reply. Jane gave the doctor a once over and then turned to focus on the files before the doctor.

"Are those…" Jane started as Laryssa pushed the files towards Jane.

"The files you requested. The top one is a man who I would look into. I can't get into specific's but he fits the main profile we have constructed and he as also my regular weekly appointment directly after James. They would have passed one another in the waiting room every week."

"Thank you." Jane responded and pulled the files towards her as the meeting started.

As the meeting came to an end, Laryssa stood and excused herself. Maura stood and followed Laryssa out the to the elevator.

"Talk to me Lys," Maura almost pleaded.

"There is nothing you can say that will change any of this." Laryssa slid into the elevator and as the doors closed, she finally lifted her head and met Maura's eyes. Her gaze was glazed and sad. Maura stood there for a moment and then returned to the conference room. No one else seemed to follow the two as they had exited, but Jane had not taken her eyes off of them.

* * *

The next 6 days passed quickly as the team worked long hours on the case. No new murder was discovered on that next Tuesday and the team felt anxious. They all worried the killer had gone dormant and that the trail would go cold. Jane and Maura had found a new routine in the last handful of nights that left both of them feeling like their old selves. Maura, not wanting to be alone in the house she shared with Laryssa, invited everyone over for dinner and Jane had ended up staying the night in the guest room. The next night they caught up on movies and enjoyed take out. Every night they had ended up spending time together after their long days at work. It was that Saturday, almost two weeks later that Maura was served with divorce papers after the BPD softball game. Jane had expected Maura to retreat within herself, but was even more surprised when Maura invited everyone out for drinks instead. As they all gathered together that night, Maura confessed that she had discussed the possibility of divorce with her therapist and she had resided herself to the idea already. She had tried contacting Laryssa and she wouldn't return her calls. She was at a loss as to what to do.

Sunday the two were off together and made a day of going to a Red Sox game. Jane had slowly noticed Maura's change in demeanor over the last few days, and was surprised when Maura readily agreed to go to the game. Maura invited Jane over for dinner after the game and the two enjoyed their evening talking and relaxing. After their second bottle of wine, Maura pulled the blanket off the back of the couch and curled up on the couch. Jane leaned over to grab another blanket and came up empty handed.

"Oh, Jane, it's in the washing machine. Let me go throw it in the dryer." Maura stated as she unwrapped her self and disappeared into the laundry room. Jane snatched the blanket and tucked it in under her legs. She smiled when Maura appeared at the side of the couch and noticed her blanket had been conquered.

"You think so?" Maura asked with her hands on her hips, a small smirk pulled at her lips.

"I don't know what you're referring to Doctor Isles." Jane smiled coyly as she pulled the blanket up to her chin.

Maura sat down next to Jane and pulled the tucked bits out from under Jane. When she spread it across her it managed to cover her arm and half her leg.

"Didn't your parents teach you to share?" Maura asked accusatorially.

Jane untucked herself and moved the blanket over to share as Maura moved even closer into Jane's side. She laid her head on Jane's shoulder and turned her attention back to the movie they had been watching. Jane found the proximity distracting, coupled with the alcohol she had been consuming all day, she could feel her temperature rising. Her cheeks flushed slightly as Jane's mind raced across endless possibilities.

"Jane…" Maura leaned back and looked at the detectives face. "Are you alright? Your heart is racing and your cheeks are slightly flushed." Maura placed a cool hand on Jane's cheek and Jane impulsively leaned into the cool touch. Jane looked into Maura's eyes and noticed the gold specks in the hazel and she subconsciously licked her lips. Maura could read the signs, she could feel the tension in the air, but she was sure it was the alcohol propelling Jane closer to her as they sat there. Maura placed her hand on Jane's chest to stop her from advancing.

"Jane…" Maura whispered, looking for the calm level headed detective she knew behind the almost feral eyes devouring her. Jane placed her hand over Maura's hand on her chest, and inched forward the last remaining space to connect their lips. Maura pushed against the chest under her hand and looked into the dilated irises inches from her face. Maura knew it was the alcohol coursing through their veins, but she wanted this. Every fiber of her being wanted what Jane was offering. Jane moved forward again and Maura contemplated letting her.

"Jane." She said more forcefully.

"What?"

"We can't do this." Maura explained.

Jane leaned back and looked into Maura's eyes. Doubt crossed the detectives face and Maura wondered if it really was the alcohol.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have." Jane explains.

"So you know what you were doing?"

"Of course I do." Jane exclaimed as she stood, looking for her jacket.

"Why?"

"Why what Maura?" Jane questioned as she retreated toward the door.

Maura followed Jane to the door and pushed it closed as Jane opened it. Jane turned and found herself pinned between Maura and the door. She could smell Maura's shampoo and the expensive perfume she wore and Jane felt a different kind of intoxication.

"Why?" Maura echoed her previous question.

"What do you want me to say Maura? That I'm in love with you? That it broke my heart leaving you? That it broke again losing you to someone else? That I was an idiot and should have told you years ago? Wha…"

Maura cut Jane off as she pushed her against the door, connecting their lips in a heated kiss. Jane's hands hung by her side, too shocked to move at first. As Maura moved her hands to Jane's curly black hair, Jane put her hands on the ME's hips and gently moved them up and down Maura's side. They broke apart when oxygen became an issue and Maura gave a small laugh and rested her head on Jane's shoulder.

"Stay?" Maura pleaded.


	20. Chapter 20

**_A/N: I know we are ALL super excited for the Maura and Jane hook up. But first we have some more story… There won't be a whole lot of our leading ladies in this chapter, but next chapter will have a rating change and we will see SOME sparks. But be warned… There is still a hiccup or two left for our girls._**

 ** _Enjoy!_**

* * *

6 years ago

Jess rushed back into the office hoping to catch Laryssa before she headed home. She had left early to run some last minute errands before flying out of town late that evening. The snow had been exceptionally harsh this winter and she knew her stops for the day would take longer than normal. Luckily Laryssa had been anxious to get home, having left her afternoon fairly open, which meant Jess was able to leave early. As she'd arrived home, she noticed the package she'd been waiting for had arrived. 'Their engagement gift… finally!' Jess thought as she opened the door and deposited her bags, coming back to retrieve the gift. She quickly locked the door and headed down to her car. 'Laryssa should still be at the office, if this traffic holds up, I'll be able to get it to them before I leave!' Jess mused as she got in her car and safely sped back to work.

Now here she was, standing in the dark office wondering where Laryssa had gone. 'Maybe she went home early?' Jess thought as she pulled out her cell phone and hit her sister's grinning face. Jess saw the light from the phone before she heard the vibrations on the desktop. She shook her head as she leaned over and swiped up her sister's phone. 'she'd lose her head if it wasn't attached, I swear!' Jess rolled her eyes and headed back to the parking garage. She climbed in her car and tried Laryssa and Brittney's home phone and got no response. She wondered if Laryssa had decided to surprise Brittney with a nice dinner out. She made her way across town quickly and parked in Laryssa's empty spot. Jess flipped her keys back and forth in her hand as she climbed the stairs mussing about how cute her sister and her fiancé were. She had never envied Jess growing up, but she had been lucky in love and Jess was only slightly jealous of the long term relationship she had with Brittney. Jess smiled as she let herself wish for something similar. Jess shook her head at the notion and realized the endless babbling her shrink did was actually starting to take hold. She dismissed the idea and reminded herself that she shouldn't get ahead of herself. After all, her and Jordan had only been dating for 9 months and she wasn't completely sure where they were headed. Jess sighed and pushed the idea from her head she turned her key and paused as she slid the door open, hearing voices as she entered. Jess smiled and walked the two steps to the entryway table as quickly and quietly as she could. She heard the smooth jazz playing and the soft mumbling, knowing she didn't want to intrude on their intimate moment. Jess reached out to drop the phone when she heard the deep tenor of a male voice. Jess stopped, retracted her arm and stood dead in her tracks as she thought she recognized the voice. 'It couldn't be. Why would he be here?' Jess felt her anger and confusion boil to the surface as she stepped forward, one hand on the door, trying to decide if she should stay or if she should go. Maybe she had miss read the situation…maybe they were planning something and that's why he was here? She let her mind race across endless possibilities, possibilities that could all explain why he would be here, in this situation.

"Babe, what time did you say she would be back?" Jess froze in the darkened entryway as the owner of the deep voice came down the hall, passing quickly by the entry way. Jess held her breath as she stood still, silently thanking her stars that the entry way was down a long, dark hallway. She gritted her teeth as she heard the faucet turn on and off and a shirtless Jordan walked back to the bedroom. Jess shook her head as the owner of the voice was confirmed. Jess tightened her grip on the door handle, her mind racing as time seemed to come to a complete stop. 'How could he?... How could she? Poor Laryssa… That bastard! How am I going to tell Lys? Should I tell her? They should tell her. They did this! Fuckers…' Jess felt it slipping as she stood there trying to decide if she should confront them now or later. Should she confront them at all? They should have to pay for what they've done. Jess slipped out the door, barely letting the door close as she ran towards elevators. She decided to take the stairs to her car as tears stung her eyes. She wiped at them angrily as she got to her car and slammed the door, hitting the steering wheel a few times as she leaned back.

"Fuck!" She yelled.

Jess's head spun as she tried desperately to contain her rage. She needed a plan, and quickly. She couldn't let Laryssa find out the same way she had. She couldn't let Laryssa find out at all. Jess shook her head as she began to blame herself for the two having ever met. She had pushed them to be friends, to get to know one another on one of their many double dates when Jess had started dating Jordan. Laryssa had told Jess days later that Brittney had been uncomfortable around him and that Jess should lay off on pushing the issue. "No wonder she felt uncomfortable!" Jess groaned as she raked her hands down her face. As a car approached, Jess looked around frantically to see if the car belonged to her sister. She sighed as she realized the car entering the garage was not Laryssa's, but not before her eyes landed on the blue Honda Jordan drove. Jess felt her hands tremble with rage. The voice she had been fighting for years with the aid of her therapist came whispering into the back of her head. 'Kill them. They don't deserve to live.' Jess shook her head. She knew it was wrong, but something about it… it felt right. As the whisper grew, the rational voice became quieter and quieter.

Jess leaned back and began to formulate a plan. It was simple. She'd cut the break line and then call to invite them to dinner saying that Laryssa was meeting them and had forgotten her phone. But how could she get them both into the same car? As far as she knew no one knew they were together. Jess leaned back rubbing her temples trying to figure them both into the car at the same time. She could ask that Jordan pick up Brittney as he lived further and then Brittney would drive home with Laryssa. Would that work? Would they buy it? By all accounts the two had become friends and it wouldn't be out of the ordinary for them to meet Laryssa and herself after work for dinner. Jess shook her head as she realized all the times Jordan and Brittney had gone to movies, art exhibits, and met them for dinner came racing across Jess's mind and she gripped the steering wheel so tightly that her hands were white.

"It'll work" Jess reassured herself as she reached over and rooted through the glove box looking for the Leatherman their father had given her years ago that she had never had use for until now. She felt the cool metal of the multi-tool, grabbed it and slipped out of her car. She pulled her blazer off, throwing it back into the car. She laid down onto the cool cement and wiggled under the car. She located the small hose clamp holding the line in place and quickly used the flat head to loosen the screw holding it in place. She pulled the line to the edge and watched as the fluid started to bubble over and drip. She scooted out from under the car, moving to her trunk to grab a towel from her gym bag. She wiped her hands, throwing the towel into the truck and moved quickly into the driver's seat. As she exited the parking garage she pulled out her phone and called Jordan. She waited as it rung several times before he answered.

"Hi Babe," he sounded out of breath, the action of his heavy breathing increasing the rage Jess felt towards the two adulterers. She swallowed down the bile that had risen at the thought of them together and forced a smile as she flew off into a winded explanation of her desire for him to join herself, Laryssa and Brittney for dinner before she headed off for her trip. She managed to convince him to "pick up" Brittney and meet them down town for dinner. Jess disconnected the call and drove across town towards the office. She needed to get Laryssa's cell phone back into the office before she headed to her apartment to await her driver for her redeye flight.

After depositing the cell phone back onto Laryssa's desk, Jess headed back to her home and threw her last minute purchases into her bag. She placed her bags next to the door and realized she had some time before the driver arrived. She poured herself three fingers of bourbon, sipping on it as she held her phone, parts of her screaming to call and stop them from getting into that car. The other parts kept her hand steady as she continued to sip her bourbon. After all, they deserved it, she rationalized as the knock on her door alerted her to her driver's arrival. She shot back the remaining bourbon and placed the glass on the counter pausing to turn her phone off as she headed to meet the driver.

* * *

Laryssa turned the key and entered the apartment. She was tired and all she wanted to do was slip into something comfortable and cuddle up with Brittney. They had been so consumed with their separate jobs lately that Laryssa couldn't remember the last night they spent "in". Laryssa had stopped off at the store and bought everything she'd needed for stir fry and a nice bottle of sparkling sake. Laryssa put down her bag and moved into the house. There were a few candles lit and she moved further inside to find her fiancé. As she exited the bedroom, she went to the living room to see if maybe Brittney had fallen asleep on the couch. Finding the couch empty she walked back into the kitchen and hoisted the grocery bags onto the counter. 'she must be out with a friend', Laryssa thought as she had seen Brittney's car in its spot. Laryssa emptied the bags and went into the entry way to retrieve her phone. She searched through her bag and then her pockets, realizing that she must have left her phone on her desk.

"Crap." She mumbled. She knew she would probably need her phone, but didn't want to make the trek back to her office. It was times like this she wished Jess wasn't heading out of town. Her little sister had dropped out of college after a hard break up with her high school sweetheart and had moved back to Boston. Laryssa had been all to happy to give her a job and Jess had been Laryssa's saving grace. When Laryssa failed to remember anything, Jess was always one step behind her picking up the forgotten pieces. Laryssa walked to the entry and pulled their home phone from the cradle and dialed Brittney's cell. Straight to voicemail. 'odd…she always has her phone on.' Next she called Jess. Straight to voicemail as well. Laryssa left a message and hung up. Laryssa set about making dinner and putting away her groceries. Around ten Laryssa tried Brittney's phone again and it again went straight to voicemail. She ate dinner alone and headed to their bedroom to read. Laryssa searched through text and emails wondering if she had missed when Brittney had informed her of plans for this evening. Laryssa eventually gave into sleep as she tried reading her latest book. Sometime around 2am there was a sharp knock at the door and Laryssa was jolted awake. As she rubbed the sleep from her eyes, she looked through the peep hole and stepped back quickly when she saw two police officers. She opened the door slowly, and stepped forward slightly.

"Sorry to disturb you so late Ma'am. We responded to a accident earlier this evening and one of their drivers licenses listed this as their address. Do you know a Brittney Davis ma'am?"

Laryssa had been watching the two officers faces as they had stood there, one speaking, the other avoiding eye contact and Laryssa knew what they weren't saying.

"She's my fiancé. What's happened?"

"We are completely unsure what caused the accident ma'am, but we are here to tell you your fiancé has been taken to Massachusetts General in Critical condition."

Laryssa nodded. "I'll head there now. Thank you." And as started to close the door, she remembered seeing Brittney's car in its spot. She had been out with someone else! Someone else was hurt.

"Officers?" Laryssa hurried and opened the door. "Can you tell me who else was in the car?"

"We haven't been able to identify the deceased's family, so I'm afraid I can't disclose that information yet."

"Sir, if you tell me who she was with, I could probably get you in contact with their families."

The officers looked at one another and the older of the two looked at Laryssa again. He nodded his head and the officer who had spoken before returned the nod and turned to Laryssa.

"Jordan Wild."

Laryssa gasped, bringing her hand to her mouth. The officers stepped closer, partially in concern and partially because this was the first solid lead they had in finding the deceased's family.

"I'm afraid the only relative he has is a brother, whom he doesn't talk to and his girlfriend is currently in another country." Laryssa said softly. The officers exchanged looks and the older one stepped forward and placed a comforting hand on her forearm.

"Do you know how to contact his girlfriend?"

* * *

"Yes, but her phone is off. She was traveling this evening. She's my sister. Jessica Smith. I can give you the number if you'd like or I can call her later and tell her myself."

6 Years Later

Laryssa sat in the dimly lit living room and listened as her younger sister weaved the story and smiled as she retold it. Laryssa felt her hands shake slightly and wondered if it was from the chill in the air or if she was that furious. She shook her head over and over as she listened to Jess tell the story of how she had killed Brittney and Jordan. She listened as Jess insinuated that Maura and Jane were cheating as well and that Laryssa was just that terrible at choosing spouses.

"it's not true…" Laryssa's whispered unconvincingly.

"You're pathetic. Listen to you. You can't even convince yourself that it's not true!" Jess spat back as Laryssa shook her head softly.

"You...don't know what you're talking about...I... Maura..." Laryssa trailed off and tried to stop the voice in the back of her head that was telling her there was a possibility, that it could happen. She looked down at her hands on the table and focused on the silver band still on her finger. As she sat there a small iPad was placed next to her hand. She glanced at the lite up screen for only a second before looking back her hands. Her mind seemed to finally process what her eyes had caught a glimpse of and she returned her gaze to the fading tablet. She touched the screen tentatively as she picked it up to see Maura and Jane at a restaurant, looking intimate and in deep conversation. Laryssa rationalized that it could be any number of things and that they could have been simply having dinner, but as she flipped through the photos she recognized the looks and small touches she saw unfolding in the photos. She wondered if they even knew what everyone else was seeing. Were they aware of their pull towards one another or were they completely oblivious? Maura had been so convinced that Jane was not interested in her in any other way then friendship. Laryssa covered her eyes and realized that they both could be in trouble if Jess believed them to be having an affair. Laryssa took a deep breath and wondered what her next move should be. She needed to protect them both but she also needed to get them looking in the right direction. She moved her hand to her temple as she thought through her next steps.

Jess stood watching her sister process the pictures and she smiled as she watched her sister face pass through the emotions. Jess felt satisfied as she watched Laryssa rub her temples. They had been staying in the corporate apartment for almost a week together. Jess had been careful to monitor Laryssa and Maura throughout the last week. Tonight would be the test though and Jess wondered how much to tell Laryssa before she set out for their destination. By telling her before hand, it gave her a chance to prove her loyalty to them, but it could also backfire and lead them to getting caught. Jess felt confident in the manner in which she effectively kept Laryssa on a leash, but she also knew her sister would only take so much before she broke one way or another. 'I just need to make sure she breaks our way…' Jess thought as she stood there. Jess smiled a wicked grin as she realized that if she truly had anything to fear, it would have happened already. She knew Maura was too busy with Jane at the moment to look in their direction. She pulled out her phone and called the only number saved in it.

"Ready?"

"You sure?"

"Positive. She won't say a thing if she doesn't want to see her precious wife butchered In front of her."

Laryssa looked up suddenly, her sisters conversation making her stomach turn. Jess had made mention of a 'test' of Laryssa's loyalty to numerous times. Laryssa had silently worried what kind of test, as her sister had just smiled and moved on. Laryssa knew Jess had been tracking Maura and Jane for some time and that she had people in play that she didn't know about. Jess's conversation ended and Laryssa looked to her sister. Jess leaned down and into Laryssa's space, invest from her face.

"Give me just one reason sister. Just one is all I need to kill that wife of yours. Just one." Jess smiled and gave a small laugh as she backed away and moved to the other room to change.

Laryssa had felt her heart beat slow as Jess had issued her threat and Laryssa could feel her heart beating erratically now that she was alone to process her sisters threats. Jess had seemed almost anxious for Laryssa to tip off Maura or Jane. She continuously sounded excited about the prospect of torturing and killing Maura in front of Laryssa. She needed to do something... but what? And how? She couldn't focus as her mind kept going from ways to protect the woman she loved to the small bout of betrayal she felt after seeing the photos of the two women together. She knew she had been less then a stellar candidate for wife of the year as of late, but she also knew that the pictures looked intimate. She shook her head, there would be time to deal with that later... 'maybe'…she thought with the shake of her head. Round and round her brain went. Laryssa ran her hands through her hair in frustration.

Jess walked back into the room and Laryssa noticed her darker clothing,instantly panic coursed through her.

"Where are you going?"

Jess smirked as she noticed the fear etched in her sisters eyes. "To see Jeff."

"Jeff?"

"Yes, Jeff your philandering client. The one who left his wife and new born."

Laryssa's eyes widened. "No! You can't..."

"I can, and I will." jess stepped closer to her sister, leaning over, and whispered in Jess's ear. "You don't get to call the shots around here sister."

"Jess...please. You know nothing about his situation. About what transpired in his relationship. You can't kill an innocent man."

Jess leaned back and smiled. "Innocent? It's truly laughable at how utterly naive you are."

Laryssa knew she was being baited. She knew not to fall for it but she couldn't help it. She wanted to slap the smug ass smile off of her face as she stood there judge and jury over others lives. "Is that so? And what is it you THINK you know?"

"Tisk Tisk sister... your temper is showing." Jess said as she held up her hands in a defensive gesture. "What I know is that that slime ball asked me out almost every time they came for couples therapy and that he's been sleeping with Tom's secretary for over two years. So tell me again what I 'think' I know."

Laryssa felt her anger rising. She stood and watched as Jess's smug smile faltering in the slightest as she recognized the defiance in her sister. She had expected Laryssa to cave faster then she was, but she recognized the signs. She would be angry, defiant even, but then she would slowly start to internalize her fears and she would let her worry eat away at her. Her fear would fuel her insecurities and she would eventually falter. Jess smiled as she saw the chips finally start to fall into place. Jess looked down at the phone resting on the table and then back at her sisters face.

"Don't get any ideas or I'll stop and pick up the Misses on the way back." Jess wore a crooked smile and the glint in her eye almost begged for Laryssa to call Maura so she could exact her revenge. Laryssa watched as Jess turned and walked out the door. She sat there stunned as she tried to rationalize that her little sister wasn't heading out the door to kill two innocent people. She rationalized that if she called Maura, Jane could keep her safe. She rationalized that she could bare the brunt of her sisters wrath, even if it meant dying.

Laryssa sat there formulating plans and tearing each one apart. She knew she had to do something and she had to do it now. As she sat there the minutes ticked by at an alarming rate. She picked up the phone and hit Maura's name. She watched as their smiling faces popped up and the phone began to ring. She had to stop the chain of power Jess had. She had to remove Maura from the equation. She had to try!

"Hello?"

"Hi Maura." Laryssa closed her eyes as she felt the sting of tears. They were tears of anger and hopelessness.

"Laryssa! Are you alright?" Maura was alarmed at the flat tone of Laryssa's response.

"I'm…it's…" Laryssa stammered. 'Just do it,' she thought. 'You have to keep her safe!'

"What's wrong?"

Maura heard the sigh and the tell tale sign of tears in Laryssa's voice.

"It's too late."

"Laryssa? What's too late?"

"We can't fix it…it's too late. I… I can't… We can't Maura. Good Bye."

"What's too late?..." Laryssa hung up before she could say or do anything else that would put Maura directly in the path she was trying to remove her from. She looked at the offending device in her hand and without a thought, she threw it across the room. The silence of the apartment was shattered by the cell phone bouncing on the floor, the phone remaining in one piece seemed to taunt the psychologist as she sat there realizing she couldn't even throw a fit correctly. The tears fell as anger coursed through her and she let out a angry moan as she sat in the quiet apartment.

* * *

Jess smirked as she handed the file containing the divorce papers to her sisters attorney. Her sister had 30 days before the divorce was finalized. Laryssa thought she was making a show of Maura's disposability when really all she had shown was how much she truly loved the ME. Jess had laughed out loud when she realized her sisters ploy at trying to keep Maura safe. She knew she was trying to sever the control she had over her, but all she had managed to do was prove Jess's theory right. Jess now held all the cards and she knew she needed to drive home the point of her sisters soon to be ex wife's affairs. Jess had pictures, videos and sound bites from the home the two had shared and she was almost giddy as she'd printed out pictures to hand to Laryssa the last few days. But tonight's email contained Maura and her detective in a heated make out session that Jess couldn't wait to deliver to her sister. She'd received it as she had pulled into the attorneys neighborhood and felt elated at the prospect of being right about Maura. She had her next victims in mind but she had to take some extra time in planning this one. This one would be her defining masterpiece. Her sistine chapel. Her Mona Lisa. Jess felt giddy as she returned to her car and pulled out her phone, retrieving her saved email to her sister and added a simple line of text to the attachment before hitting send.

"Guess I know more about reading people then you do sister. Enjoy the video."

Meanwhile across town….

"Stay..." Maura whispered.

Jane stepped forward and pushed the ME against the adjacent wall. Her hand finding her way into the honey brown hair, the other wrapping around the doctors waist as she pulled her into her. Jane knew she wasn't going to stay the night, but she wanted the ME to have no doubts about her feelings. As the need for air became dire, the two pulled back but kept their bodies in a tight embrace. Maura leaned her head against the detectives lean chest and sighed. Jane kissed Maura's for head softly and smiled softly.

"Maur, I can't stay. You know that right?"

Jane felt the ME's head nod against her chest.

"But that doesn't mean I don't want this. That I don't want you." Jane leaned back, slightly pushed her chest forward so Maura was forced to look at the detective. Jane let her hand cup Maura's cheek as she stroked her cheek softly. "I love you Maura. But we have to do this the right way."

Maura smiled and nodded. She knew they'd rushed into it too quickly, but she also had had a taste of the detective and she wanted nothing else. She knew she needed to mourn her failed marriage and she had a few things to work out before she should take on a new relationship. And not just any relationship. This was THE relationship.

"You're right Jane. We need to proceed carefully. I understand."

Jane smiled and sweetly kissed the doctors soft lips again. "Just one last one for the road." Jane smiled as she turned and again headed towards the door. She paused with her hand on the handle and turned to say good night. Maura stepped closer, her arms around her waist came up to the detectives chest as she leaned in for one more kiss.

"Good night Jane."

"Good night Maura."

* * *

 ** _So my normal editor/spell corrector is out of town… So forgive me_**


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N:**

 **Sorry… not sorry.**

 **Grad school and work are stealing all my free time, but hopefully I've got a rhythm down now, so I should be able to finish this one in the next couple of weeks! The next story will be going up sometime in the next couple of days. Enjoy!**

* * *

"You didn't!" Rebecca squealed like a teenager, leaning forward and hitting Jane's shoulder.

"It's about fucking time!" Ashley laughed as the three of them sat around the island in the guest house.

Jane smiled but felt conflicted. She knew she had never wanted anything more but she also knew Laryssa was a good person and she couldn't help the pure guilt she felt in the part she played in their marriage deteriorating.

Rebecca paused and looked at Jane. "What...", her hand making a circling motion around Jane's face, "...is all this about?"

Jane shook her head, "nothing."

"Wanna try that answer again?" Rebecca asked as she leaned back slightly.

Jane rolled her eyes as she crossed her arms and leaned forward against the counter. Becca recognized the detectives 'Fuck off' look but decided to match it with her own, 'I'm just as stubborn' look.

"We can play this game all night, or you can just tell me what is wrong." Rebecca countered as she leaned forward, mimicking Janes pose. Ashley took this as a sign to leave the two friends to their power struggle. She quickly kissed her detective on the check and smiled as she said goodnight to Jane and retreated to Becca's room.

Jane smiled as the door closed and Ashley disappeared behind it. "You two seem to be getting very close."

"Nice try Rizzoli, You can't get off that easy!"

"With how long it's been, it would be that easy." Jane retorted with a laugh.

Rebecca laughed and pushed the detective in the arm. "Thanks for that over share!"

The two fell into a comfortable silence until Becca reached forward and placed her hand on Janes arm, her eyes echoing the question she'd asked earlier.

Jane sighed and shook her head, 'You know, sometimes I really hate you."

"You can tell me all about how much you hate me after you tell me what is the matter. I thought you'd be over the moon after what has happened this evening, but instead you look like shit."

Jane rolled her eyes and looked at Rebecca. She knew she wasn't going to get out of not telling her and she also knew she wanted to talk to her about the developments between Maura and herself. Jane stood and walked to the fridge and got a beer. Without saying a word she held it up and watched for a nod. Grabbing a second beer Jane returned to the island and sat down. She took a long drag off of her beer and then turned to her partner. Jane started at the beginning of the evening and walked Becca through to her arrival home. When Jane finished she took another long drink and waited for the other detective to respond. Rebecca had listened intently and when Jane had started to talk about how close they were to sleeping together, Becca took notice of Jane's glossed over look and her crooked smile.

"So why didn't you two… Ya know," Becca asked as she made a hand gesture.

"Really?"

"yes really! You two have had it bad for each other for how long? And now you're playing coy? What's the real reason Riz?"

"I hate when you call me that" Jane stated as she tried to move the direction of the conversation.

"I know, why do you think I still do it?"

Jane rolled her eyes and made a face at her partner. "so….?" Rebecca drawled.

Jane signed and realized she had no choice but to explain.

"Her marriage fell apart because of me. I came back and their happy little world fell apart. I've inadvertently hurt Maura, again. She's too twitter pated to even notice though and all its doing is eating me inside. All I can think about is how torn up my Ma was when pop cheated and then left her for another woman. She was devastated, and Laryssa is a good person who didn't ask for any of this. She was happy and I ruined her life as well. I just.." Jane left her sentence trail off as she put her head in her hands and rubbed her face.

Rebecca sat watching the detective let her feeling play out, wondering what were the rights words to be said at this time and how she could make her friend feel less guilt over what she felt was an inevitability. "Jane, the thing you have to remember is, you kept your feelings to yourself. When Maura practically threw herself at you in the elevator that day, you didn't reciprocate the sentiment. You were her friend and her relationship still managed to implode on its own. I honestly don't know how else you could have played this out. Someone was bound to get hurt. What if you'd have returned and she was happily married and didn't return your feelings. Instead we'd be dealing with your broken heart. Either way, someone was going to feel the sting."

Jane dragged her fingers down her face slowly as she turned to look at the detective. "I could have stayed dead."

Rebecca rolled her eyes and leaned forward to place a hand on the detectives arm. "You very well could have, but you would have doomed Maura to a sham of a marriage. She thought she was happy, but Laryssa is not you. And you would have doomed yourself to lonely life as well as me. Don't forget that us coming back hasn't just affected your life, but mine as well."

Jane stared off into the kitchen deep in thought for a few minutes. Rebecca squeezed her arm and stood. "It's getting late, but before I leave you to brood over this, don't forget to ask yourself what was/is best for Maura. Have you even stopped to think or even ask her how happy she is to have you back? And not only to have you back, but to have you in the way she'd always wanted. Sure, take it slow if that's the way you roll, but Jane, maybe you should ask her how she's feeling about it all before you let yourself be the martyr."

Jane softly nodded and smiled as Becca retreated to her room. Jane looked down at her phone and knew it was too late to call so she opted for a text instead.

 **J: Maur, brunch tomorrow before Sunday dinner? I'll pick you up at 10**

Jane stood and moved towards her room, slowly peeling off her clothes as she moved into the bathroom to brush her teeth. She climbed back into bed and heard the faint vibration of her phone. Swinging her legs off the bed in record time she grabbed her pants and retried her phone.

 **M: I'm having breakfast with my mother tomorrow, but I'll come by after so we can talk before dinner.**

 **Jane smiled and hit reply as another texted popped up.**

 **M: Why are you still awake?**

 **J: I could ask you the same thing.**

 **M: I can't seem to fall asleep in this house anymore**

Jane fiddled with her phone, tempted to offer the safety of her bed to Maura, but knowing it could be too tempting and too soon.

 **J: Maur, you can always come stay here. The couch pulls out, you can sleep in my bed.**

 **M: Without you in it? Tempting, but it'd be missing the thing I want most.**

 **J:**

 **J: I could be persuaded to stay in the bed if you promised to keep your hands to yourself.**

 **M: I couldn't make such a promise.**

Jane rolled her eyes and bit her lip. She'd give almost anything to see Maura right now but she worried they'd do less talking and lot more of something else. She laughed and thought about her conversation with Rebecca only a short time earlier. She knew she wasn't going to sleep anyways, so she smiled and typed a quick reply.

 **J: I'll be good for the both of us, but that doesn't mean I would love to have you in my arms.**

 **M: I'm on my way**

 **J: I'll keep the bed warm for you**

* * *

Maura grabbed her outfit and a few other necessities for her brunch with her mother and headed out the door. She drove faster then she normally liked to as she couldn't wait to see Jane. Her text about needing to talk had Maura on edge and she had let her mind wonder with the numerous things Jane Rizzoli was known to over think and Maura knew from the past that a relationship between the two of them was one of them. Maura wondered if this was what love was, the constant state of euphoria and nerves. She'd felt the worry ebb slightly as they'd exchanged light, flirty texts and she knew she hadn't lost Jane to her own self-doubt yet. Maura quickly parked her car in front of her old home and smiled as she walked to the side gate and entered the back yard. She sent a text to Jane that she was here and waited for the door to open. When Jane opened the door in her soft, white v neck t-shirt and cut off sweatpants Maura was caught off guard at how much she felt foe this woman standing in front of her. Jane smiled as Maura continued to stare.

"Maur, I think you might be drooling a little," Jane said grinning as she stepped forward to wipe away the pretend drool. Maura gave Jane a coy smile and swatted her hand away. Maura took a step closer to Jane and they were now face to face, Jane's hand coming to rest on Maura's shoulder. Maura took notice of Jane's breath as it caught in her throat as she pushed her body closer, Jane's other arm coming around Maura's waist and the detective's cheeks flushed a shade of pink. Maura grinned as she realized she had the upper hand and moved to pass Jane and enter the house. She didn't turn around as she walked straight towards the open bedroom door. Maura removed her shoes and deposited her bag into the closet before heading towards the bed. She sat down as Jane entered and closed the door. Jane stood awkwardly by the door for a minute too long and Maura realized she was nervous.

"Jane..." Maura spoke softly as she stood and walked towards Jane, her hands finding Janes as she looked into dark eyes. "...Jane, what's wrong?"

Jane looked up and smiled before exhaling heavily. "Maur, it's not that I don't want things to go further, I just want them to happen in a natural progression. You just signed divorce papers for god's sake. I don't want this to go too quickly and have us forget or miss a step. You deserve it all and we have already waited this long."

Maura listened as Jane told her how she felt and what she wanted. Maura nodded and stepped closer to Jane. "So we are taking things slowly, I can get on board with that. But Jane you have to realize that I've wanted this years. It's going to be hard for me to keep myself in check while you're wrapping your head around it all."

Maura let go of Jane's hands and they smiled at one another before heading towards the bed. They each assumed the sides of the bed they had always slept on when they'd shared a bed before but as Maura pulled back the covers, it felt different. They were taking a step towards something as more then friends. She wouldn't have to be worried that if she migrated towards Jane throughout the night she would have to explain it away as she was a cuddlier and sometimes it just happened. Maura looked over to see jane standing next to the bed, covers in hands, lost in thought.

"Jane?"

Jane shook her head and smiled at Maura, who was already in bed, leaning up on one arm curiously staring at her. "Sorry, I was thinking about something you said."

"And what was it I said?"

'You said I had to get use to all this, that I needed to wrap my head around it. Maura, this isn't something that's new to me. I meant it when I said it killed me leaving you. And then coming back to find you happy and married, it almost destroyed me. I wanted to tell you for years, but there was always someone else coming in or out of one of our lives. You always seemed happy, so I told myself I could be happy if you were happy." Jane climbed into the bed and rolled on her side to face Maura. She placed a hand on the side of Maura's face, stroking her cheek and speaking softly as she continued. "Maura, I knew the first time I met you that there was something different about you. Something that first day drew me towards you and ever since then I have been convincing myself that I could be happy if only you were in my life. Had I known you felt the same way, we would have been married years ago." Jane paused and watched as Maura's eyes got watery. "Another reason I want to take this slowly is to prove to you that this is it for me, that you're it for me. I've waited too long to mess it all up and fly past all the fun parts of a new relationship. I don't want us to miss out on anymore Maura. I've loved you for so long Maura." As Jane finished, Maura moved forward and placed a soft kiss on Jane's lips. Maura's hands came up to grip Jane's face, as she pushed Jane onto her back. Maura hovered over Jane's torso and as her hair fell forward she leaned back to look into Jane's eyes.

"I love you Jane." She whispered. Jane smiled a toothy grin and leaned up to capture the ME's lips. The kiss turned passionate as Maura moved her body completely on top of Jane's. Jane grabbed a handful of the doctor's hair as Maura nipped at Jane's bottom lip with her teeth, her tongue swiping across immediately after, possessively asking for entrance. Jane concede and the two let the kiss deepen as their tongues danced, a moan escaping the detectives mouth as she let the fog clear and she took notice of the rest of their bodies. Jane could feel Maura's nipples pressed against her own and Jane realized she needed to feel more of the ME. As Jane let her hands wander down the ME's back and then softly trace up her sides, she felt Maura shiver as she lightly grazed the soft swell of the side of Maura's breast. Maura broke their lips apart as she inhaled sharply, the combination of their passionate kiss and the still searing traces of where Jane had touched her, causing her to forget to breath.

Jane smiled like she had a secret and leaned up to gently kiss Maura. "It's getting late and you have an early morning." Jane watched as Maura's lips pulled into a pout and she laughed softly. "There will be more than enough time for this in the morning, I promise." Jane replied as she smiled and again leaned up to kiss the corner of the ME's mouth. Maura grumbled softly while smiling, and moved her body to Jane's side, placing her head on the detective's shoulder. She wrapped her arm around the Italians torso and closed her eyes as Jane leaned over to kiss her forehead.

* * *

Maura slowly closed the bedroom door and turned to head to the door when she was greeted by two sets of familiar eyes.

"Good Mooorning Dr. Isle," Rebecca drawled out excitedly as she picked up her coffee mug trying to hide her grin behind her cup. Ashley turned and scolded Rebecca with her eyes before turning and smiling at the ME.

"Morning." Maura nodded and smiled at the couple as her cheeks warmed at being caught sneaking out of her detective's bedroom.

"You know, if you were trying to sneak out, we already knew you were here. We heard you come in last night." Rebecca stated as she lowered her mug, openly smiling at Maura as she did so.

"I apologize I didn't mean to wake you." Maura apologized, moving to the cupboard to get a cup. She could feel the heat in her cheeks increase and she knew she had guilt written all over her face.

"stop it Becks," Ashley stated as she lightly swatted the detective's arm. "You'll have to forgive her Dr. Isles she's can act like a five-year-old at times." Maura smiled watching the two bicker with one another and she couldn't help but laugh as she watched Rebecca make a face at the FBI agent. A face she had no doubt picked up from Jane. As if sensing her thoughts were on her, Jane's bedroom door opened and Maura had to stifle a giggle as she noticed the detective's hair. 'now this looks ten times worse!'

"Wow Rizzoli... that is some awesome sex hair." Rebecca pointed out laughing as she did so. As all eyes turned towards Jane, everyone laughed and Jane ceremoniously flipped them all off. She walked towards the ME and let her body brush up against Maura's as she reached past her to get a coffee mug. Their eyes meet and Jane smiled wickedly as she caught Maura looked down the V-neck of her shirt to see the tops of her breasts. Jane watched as Maura looked up, catching Jane's eyes, her pupils dilated and her cheeks a soft pink.

"Good morning," Jane whispered close to Maura's ear before placing a soft kiss directly below her ear.

"Morning," Maura said in a husky voice, clearing it when it almost cracked. Jane turned and smiled at Becca as she watched the two and their exchange. Jane made eye contact and Rebecca raised her eye brow in question and Jane just smiled. Jane felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up and a shiver down her spine as she felt Maura's hand brush across her ass and land on the small of her back. Jane instinctively turned towards Maura, "I have to run. I'm already running late." Maura said as she leaned in and lightly kissed Jane's cheek. "I'll see all of you later." And with that, three sets of eyes watched the ME walk out the door.

A low whistle came from Becca's lips as the detectives and FBI agents landed on Jane. "SO... how did last night go?" Jane smiled and turned to top off her mug before starting towards her bedroom.

"Jane? JANE? Oh come on... Jane!" Rebecca followed Jane's retreating form towards her bedroom.

"Becks! I don't kiss and tell!" Jane said before winking and closing the door.

* * *

As Maura snuck back out the gate to her car she didn't notice the car parked down the street that had been there for the last 3 hours, nor did she notice her soon to be ex-wife and her sister sitting there watching her cross the street. One sat with a smug smile on her face as the other buried her head into her hands and silently let a tear fall. She couldn't stop the train headed straight towards Maura and she wasn't entirely sure she wanted to stop the one heading towards Jane. She felt betrayed and angry. 'Who have I become?' She thought as she let another tear escape. Laryssa felt lost and alone, tired and frightened. She knew things were escalating and she knew she had to do something but what she wasn't sure anymore.


	22. Chapter 22

A/N: Sometimes bad things happen to good people. Sometimes good people make bad decisions… At the end of the day remember that to error is human. Remember to try and put yourselves in the position of the characters… I love that some of you are still rooting for Laryssa. I'll try and give you as much closure as I can.

Enjoy!

-M

* * *

Maura pulled back up to her old home and smiled as her thoughts turned to this morning. She had met her mother and Constance had known immediately that something was different. Maura and Jane hadn't discussed if they were telling others about their new status so Maura had tried denying it, only to have her face give it all away when she read a message from Jane. Her mother had expressed her pure joy and excitement at the development. Maura had cautioned her that they had only just both confessed their feelings and that they were taking it slowly. Constance had promised discretion and the two had spent the next two hours enjoying a pleasant and comfortable conversation.

After getting in the house and saying her hellos Maura set about helping Angela in the kitchen. She casually brought up the missing detective and Becca chimed in from the counter where she was cutting tomatoes that Jane had run to the store for more beer and some champagne, to which Angela smiled and said, "yes, we have something very big to celebrate tonight."

Maura dropped the bread knife she was using and Rebecca snickered as the ME's cheeks turned pink. 'calm down Maura, she doesn't know. Right? Jane wouldn't tell her mother, would she? Not that I could blame her, I told me mother.' Angela was a shark when there was blood in the water and would circle her prey until she went in for the kill. Maybe they had seen her leaving this morning and made assumptions. As Maura focused on the bread she contemplated what kind of dinner tonight would be. How would Angela handle it? Would she or would she simply write them off. It was easy for Constance as she already knew Maura was out and she already loved Jane. Maura reigned in her thoughts as she realized the celebration may not even have to do with them. Perhaps Frankie had finally proposed to Nina! Perhaps someone was being promoted? Maura nodded and smiled realizing there could be numerous things happening and she was panicking over nothing. Maura finished the bread and moved to open a bottle of wine shed brought with her. She had her back towards the door when Jane stepped in, hands full of beer and bottles of champagne. Jane's eyes immediately caught the sight of Maura standing on her toes trying to reach a glass on the top shelf. She quickly deposited her purchases, walked up behind the Doctor placing her hand on her hip for stability, pressed up against Maura's back as she reached above her to grab a glass. As Jane brought the cup down Maura turned in the tight circle created by Janes body pressed against hers. Jane looked down meeting, Maura's eyes she noticed the flush of the ME's cheeks and her own fluttering heart beat.

"Hi." Jane whispered as she smiled wide and placed the glass down. Maura could feel the heat from Jane's hand on her hip and she blushed further. Maura smiled and whispered a soft hello.

"Jane! Could you please put the champagne in the fridge or it won't be chilled for later?" Angela called over her shoulder having only caught the two woman's exchanges of hellos. She turned back to the pot on the stove, smiling and shaking her head. She had known it was only a matter of time until someone confessed their feelings and when Sean had said he saw Maura sneaking out this morning, Angela knew something had finally happened between the two. Now she just needed to wait, patiently Sean had told her. 'They will tell us when they are ready' he'd explained to Angela. Angela was not a patient person. She was going to have a hard time waiting for them. She knew Janie and she knew it could be months to a year before she decided to let her mother in on her love life. Angela sighed as a ping of sadness crept into the back of her mind. She knew Laryssa had lost so much and she knew this whole divorce had been her idea, but she couldn't help but feel a ping of sadness on behalf of the Psychologist. 'Luckily she has her family to fall back into,' Angela thought.

* * *

Jane stood next to Maura as they leaned against the counter partly watching the football game on the tv, partly watching one another. Jane was struck by how easy it all felt and how natural she felt being here with Maura. She mused about how hard they'd made this all on themselves and how much she'd wished she'd said something all those years ago. Jane looked at Maura again and caught her eye. Jane nodded towards the hall and Maura smiled as she understood. The two made their way out of sight and immediately Jane pulled Maura into Maura's old office. She closed the door partly, pressing Maura against the wall behind the door. She gently moved a errant piece of hair from the doctors face and leaned forward to ghost a soft kiss on the ME's lips. Maura's breath hitches as Jane placed her hands on the doctors waist and leaned in for another kiss. Maura put her arms around Janes neck and stood on tiptoes to meet Janes lips, leaning her body into the lean frame of the detectives. Jane tightened her arms around Maura and their kiss deepened. When Jane pulled back they were both slightly out of breath and they stood there smiling at one another before Jane broke the silence.

"I've wanted to do that since I walked in."

"Perhaps you should have." Maura countered.

"I would have had we discussed how all this is playing out. Don't you want to keep this to ourselves so we can enjoy it in peace? You know once my mother finds out she's going to start planning our wedding."

Maura's cheeks colored and a fleeting moment of guilt passed across her face as she looked down to avoid Janes eyes. Jane watched and wondered what Maura was feeling guilty over. She pulled Maura closer to her, gently raising her hand to raise Maura's chin.

"You okay?"

Maura smiled and leaned into Jane to lay her head on her shoulder as Jane tightened her hold. They stood there wrapped in one another's arms for a few silent moments before Maura spoke.

"I'm not ready to get married again Jane. I failed at my first and it's too soon to be talking about that...not that I don't want that with you, it's just too soon."

Jane smiled, leaning in to place a chaste reassuring kiss on the slightly down turned lips. "Maura, I completely understand. We won't be racing towards the alter. You've still got to mourn your relationship ending and we have to find our own footing in this. Someday I'll ask you, but I promise it won't be until I know we are both ready."

"So do we tell them? I know we are taking it slow, but I'd love to be able to touch you without worrying... Also, how do you know I wouldn't be the one asking?"

Janes smiled as she caught the last part of Maura's statement and leaned forward to steal a kiss.

"As long as I end up married to you, I don't care who's asking." Jane whispered as she pulled away from the kiss. Maura surged forward grabbing Janes shirt in her hands, pulling her into a hard passionate kiss. When the need for air won the two pulled back smiling at one another.

"Dinners ready!" Angela called, bursting the bubble the women had created for themselves. They each smoothed over their clothes and Maura leaned forward to wipe some of her smudged lipstick off Janes lips before Jane stole a quick peck.

"Maybe we should keep it to ourselves a little longer. I should probably tell Laryssa before she hears it from someone else, don't you think?"

"Maura, you don't owe anyone an explanation, but I understand why you feel you should. We can tell them later, it has after all, only been a whole 24 hour,." Jane said grinning. She stepped back and the women left their sanctuary, each with shoulders a little heavier then when they went in. As they neared the end of the hall Maura turned around suddenly.

"I love you Jane. Me telling her or feeling bad for her doesn't change how I feel about you. Remember that."

Jane smiled and let some of the doubt ease as she slowly kept walking. As she passed Maura she leaned over and placed a hand on the small of her back. "I love you too Maura Isles."

Jane turned the corner and walked to the fridge for another beer before heading to the table. As she entered the dinning room she caught eyes with Rebecca who was mid conversation with Ashley who was sitting across from her. She lifted eye brow in question and Jane slightly shook her head and Rebecca sat up a little straighter. "Look I saved you a seat partner!" Becca said as she patted the vacant seat next to her. As Jane came around the table she sat down as Becca leaned over and asked if she was alright.

"Later," Jane responded as she smiled at Ashely and watched as Maura walked into the room and sat directly across from her.

Dinner passed in comfortable conversation until Angela asked Frankie to pull out the champagne. No one seemed to be in on the secret they would soon be celebrating. As Frankie and Sean pour the glasses and passed them around Maura caught Janes eye. Maura pointed at herself and then Jane and Janes smile disappeared. She understood what Maura was worrying about and she quickly turned to her mother. Becca saw the exchange and grabbed Janes arm. Out of the corner of her mouth Becca whispered, "it's not about you two." Quickly turning back to her conversation with Ashely and Nina, Becca patted Janes arm and moved her hands back to her lap.

Angela and Sean stood in unison and raised their glasses. Sean spoke first, "As you all may or may not know, Angela and I have been house hunting for some time. We finally found a place and closed on it yesterday!" Everyone clapped and congratulated the couple. As Jane went to drink her champagne her mother stopped her, "Janie, we aren't done yet. Congratulations are in order for someone else as well." Frankie and Nina have an announcement. Frankie stood holding hands with Nina.

"We are getting married!" Nina exclaimed excitedly.

"And we're having a baby!" Frankie almost yelled.

Everyone cheered and stood to hug the newly engaged parents to be. Jane smiled as she hugged Nina. "I'm so happy for you two! Welcome to the family, officially!" Jane released her and turned to Frankie who she captured in a bear hug, lifting him slightly off the ground. "Little brother! I'm so proud of you!" Jane released him but then elbowed him in the ribs, "even though you did it in the wrong order. First comes marriage then baby little brother!" Jane laughed as Frankie pushed her.

"Yeah laugh it up Jane, but we've been engaged for a few weeks. We just found out about the baby a few days ago!" Frankie smiled as he wrapped his arm around Nina's waist, pulling her closer to him as he returned an elbow to Janes ribs. "Now it's your turn Janie. And you better hurry otherwise Ma is gonna sell you off to the convent!" Frankie laughed as Jane looked up to meet Maura's eyes. She smiled and winked at the ME. She'd already found someone.

* * *

Laryssa sat at her desk a few days later staring at the invitation in her hands. The foundation Maura's parents ran was having their annual event and she'd been invited. For years she'd gone and last year she had gone with Maura. She reached for the phone to call Maura and ask if she was going before realizing she couldn't just call her up anymore. Slamming the phone back down Laryssa groaned softly. She knew her absence would be missed as she'd been working with the at risk youth her parents foundation sponsored for years. She also knew the event was heavily covered my local media and that Maura always brought a date. Angrily Laryssa shook her head as she knew who Maura would bring. Jane.

As if sensing her thoughts her phone line beeped. Jess's voice came over the speaker and announced Maura was on line. "Put her through." Laryssa said quietly. She took a deep breath and waited for the phone to ring.

"Hello Maura. How are you today?"

"Hi Laryssa. I'm good. How are you?"

"I'm good, what can I do for you Maura?"

Maura faltered for a second before answering. "I was calling to see if we could maybe grab lunch in the next few days when you have a moment?"

"Unfortunately I'm heading out of town tomorrow for a conference. I won't be back until the 10th." Laryssa explained.

"I see. Are you free today? I'd really like to talk to you, we've had no chance at any sort of resolution or closure. You've barely even spoken to me in over a month."

"What is there to say Maura? We've both made choices and no amount of talking will ease either of our consciences's. Talking to me won't make you feel better for what you've done."

"Excuse me, what I've done?" Maura asked feeling her defenses going up.

"Maura, fighting now isn't going to save us."

"I never said I was trying to save us. Also, I wasn't aware we were fighting, I'm certainly not trying to fight you on anything."

"You never have," Laryssa mumbled.

"Excuse me?" Maura felt angry. "I wasn't the one who turned around without a fight and walked away from our marriage."

"Because you were actually in OUR marriage at some point? I'm not an idiot Maura."

"I was completely in our marriage."

"Until Jane came back."

Maura was silent. Hadn't they talked about this? Where was the reasonable level headed woman she knew? Where was the woman who told her they'd work through her feelings? Not that any of that mattered now.

"Maura, I have to go. My next appointment is here." Laryssa lied.

"Alright... I... ."

"Good bye Maura." Laryssa cut Maura off not wanting to hear the rest of what she had to say. She wanted more then anything to see and talk to Maura. She wished things were simpler, but they never would be again.

* * *

Jess listened to the exchange between Maura and Laryssa. She could hear the anger in Laryssa's voice as she eluded to Maura's cheating. She had to keep Laryssa believing Maura had betrayed her so that Laryssa would help her with her next phase. Laryssa couldn't know everything but she'd know enough to keep Jane busy while she exacted her revenge on Maura. She was tempted to leave Jane alive as a form of irony. Maura had to experience Janes death, it only seemed fitting she should experience Maura's.

* * *

"Hey Maura, we're all heading out to the robber later, you coming?"

"Thanks Frankie, I'll stop by later after I finish up here."

"Sounds good! I'll see you there!"

Maura had finished her last autopsy an hour ago and was meticulously cleaning her equipment for the second time today. She couldn't stop playing her conversation with Laryssa through her head. She felt guilty for the way things had gone but she also knew she had been willing to fight her feelings for Jane. She hadn't known Jane felt anything more then friendship for her. She had been willing to work on their marriage. She refused to feel guilty over laryssa's lack of working on their relationship. She also felt guilty for being happy with Jane and for being happy that because her marriage fell apart she could now be happy. She shook her head, deciding she'd had enough alone time with her thoughts. She wanted to see Jane and she wanted the comfort that being with her friends brought. Removing her jacket she grabbed her bag and headed towards the elevators. As she pushed the button to call the elevator she felt her phone vibrate. Retrieving it from her bag she couldn't help the grin that formed when she saw Janes name on the screen.

 **J: We are all at the robber. Coming?**

 **M: on my way**

 **J: wanna sneak away early? ;)**

 **M: detective if I didn't know any better I'd think you were trying to compromise my integrity.**

 **J: If only!**

Maura laughed as she exited the elevator and walked towards the front door. The bar wasn't far and Maura knew chances were she was going home with Jane so she opted to walk the sort distance and leave her car at BPD. Since Sean and Angela announced they were moving into their own house Maura had worried less about being seen coming and going from the guest house. Maura smiled at the timing of them moving as it meant she could move back in, instead of having to find a new home. Things in her world finally seemed to be heading towards normalcy and she couldn't help but look towards the future.

* * *

As the days past and Jane and Maura fell into a routine of working and then spending their nights together. They'd fallen into a habit of saying no to spending their nights at the robber with the boys, instead spending their evenings deep in conversations over candle lit tables, ice cream dates on park benches or cuddled up together on the couch watching favorite movies. They'd broken down barriers and Maura had fallen even more for the person Jane was with her when they were alone. The time alone in Washington had only added to the deep complexities that were so uniquely Jane. She was more honest with her feelings and expressed her thoughts more freely with Maura. They talked about Maura's marriage and how she felt guilty for missing Laryssa. Jane listened understandingly and even suggested Maura try and speak to Laryssa again after some time.

The following Sunday Jane found her self next to Maura on the couch after Sunday dinner. Everyone had taken the weekend to help Angela and Sean move into their new home and Maura back into her old one. Everyone had left fairly early after the long and tiring weekend. Jane stood to head to the guest house, she had an early morning when Maura suddenly stood and reached for her hand.

"Jane?"

"Hm?"

"I know we aren't really out as a couple yet, But I wanted to ask you to be my date to the foundations fundraiser next week."

"Of course. Wait...Is this a black tie kind of event?" Jane asked pulling a face.

"Aren't they all?"

Jane grumbled and then caught Maura's eye, she smiled and laughed as she responded. "Of course I'll go with you. Happily... As long as they serve that champagne I love." Jane winked at Maura as she took another step towards the back door.

"Jane, do you understand what I meant when I said date?"

"Yeah, we've been to a bunch of those over the years. I know how it goes." Jane stop and turned towards Maura trying to decipher what the ME was clearly try not to have to say.

"Jane, I want us to go as a couple. If you're ready that is..." Maura trailed off, wondering why a Jane would say.

Jane stood there processing the fact that Maura was ready to be out in the open with their budding relationship. She knew they had to tell their families before the local newspapers found out at the event.

"Are you sure? It's only been a couple of weeks, there is no rush Maur," Jane said as she walked towards Maura. Jane tried to calm her heart as it started to get excited about the turn in their relationship. She stopped in front of Maura, maintaining eye contact as she stood there wait for a reply.

"I'm sure. It's not like we are announcing our engagement. I'm simply bring a hot date to my families foundation event."Maura winked as she stepped closer to Jane. Janes arms instinctively wrapped around Maura as she leaned down and placed a soft kiss to her lips.

Pulling back Jane smiled. "You know we will have to tell our parents before that night. Ma would murder me if she had to find out about us in the paper or on the 10 o'clock news."

"Why don't we tell them next week at Sunday dinner? That gives us a week to prep for telling your Family and then we will have a few days before everyone else finds out." Maura suggested as she laid her head on Janes shoulder, the two standing there just holding onto one another.

"Alright. When are we going to tell Constance?" Jane asked and Maura's head popped up quickly. Jane laughed and shook her head. "She already knows doesn't she?" She asked as she smiled at Maura's pink cheeks.

"She could tell something was different at lunch a few weeks ago and you know I can't lie"

Jane laughed lightly and pulled Maura impossibly closer as she moved her hands up Maura's back to her hair. She used her hand to propel Maura's head towards her own and captured her lips in a heated kiss. Maura was taken back by the passion seeping into their embrace as she let her hands grab a handful of Janes shirt. Jane broke the kiss to take a deep breath before returning to Maura's lips and resuming. Maura let out a soft moan as Janes hand slowly moved down to her ass and Jane grabbed a hand full. Maura backed Jane up to the edge of the island in the kitchen and allowed her hands to wonder freely over Janes torso, just lightly brushing the underside of Janes breasts. Maura was pleasantly surprised to find that Jane hadn't put a bra back on after her shower earlier. Janes breath caught as Maura teased the sensitive spot and could feel her nipples respond. Jane knew they were pushing carefully erected boundaries, and she didn't want to stop. Jane was pulled from her thoughts as Maura's hand grabbed a handful of her hair right above her neck. Jane enjoyed the sensation and moaned as Maura's mouth moved to Janes newly exposed neck. Maura kissed her was around Janes neck, stopping to lightly suck and then nip Janes pulse point before moving towards her ear. She nuzzled behind Janes ear then moved to gently bite just below her ear. Maura smiled against Janes neck when she heard Jane catch her breath, her ministrations clearly getting to the detective.

"Maura," Jane whispered, trying to push reason into her brain. Jane was ready to abandon reason when there was a knock on the back door as it opened.

"Jane? Maura? We came by to... Oh!" Rebecca paused when she saw the women pressed up together. She couldn't help but grin as the two women slowly turned, their faces flushed and Janes arm still wrapped around the ME's waist.

"So you guys are busy...should we come back later?" Ashley asked as she looked at the women.

Jane cleared her throat and kept her arm wrapped around Maura's waist as Maura politely smile at their interrupting house guests. "It's fine, what can we do for you ladies?" Jane asked as she noticed the bottle of wine in Beccas hand.

"Well we brought by a house warming gift and wanted to see if you ladies wanted to go to a game with us tomorrow." Rebecca responded.

Maura smiled as she accepted the wine. "We would love to," Maura answered for the both of them as Jane cocked an eyebrow at the response. Jane smiled hearing Maura refer to them as "we." She let her hand slide to the small of Maura's back and she traced light circles as the group stood there engaged in conversation about the game the next day. Before Jane realized, she heard Maura invite the women to Sunday dinner and the conversation moved to telling the family. Jane laughed when Rebecca excitedly exclaimed that she wouldn't miss it for anything.


End file.
